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Pyapi

Offline (the 07/24/2014 at 7:22pm) | Search for a member

Pyapi

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 899
  • Number of comments : 161
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 20 posted

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Pyapi's page activity

Visits<b>billum98</b> - the 06/10/2014 at 4:45pm<b>SteakfryOne</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 12:41am<b>mt631</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 9:56am<b>gej12345</b> - the 05/02/2014 at 10:52am<b>jesusmahony</b> - the 04/19/2014 at 1:45pm<b>THENORTH</b> - the 04/15/2014 at 1:02am<b>Lampardus</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 8:12am<b>AlwaysWatching</b> - the 04/06/2014 at 2:34pm<b>iOceanus</b> - the 04/06/2014 at 11:15am<b>NineInchSacks</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 5:52pm<b>DementedOtaku</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 2:06pm<b>MVSK</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 2:02pm<b>MrDonSalvetti</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 1:33pm<b>ChildRepellent</b> - the 03/13/2014 at 2:36am<b>SmexiiBacon</b> - the 01/20/2014 at 9:38am<b>ImTheAlpha</b> - the 11/18/2013 at 6:09pm<b>bitch_plz</b> - the 11/06/2013 at 8:29pm<b>threer</b> - the 10/15/2013 at 8:50am

Pyapi's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of Pyapi's badges

Pyapi's favorite FMLs

Today, we had a guy come into the hospital with a carrot stuck deep in his anus. I've heard all kinds of ridiculous cover stories, but his took the cake; he claimed the phone rang while he was showering and he slipped onto a box of vegetables. Guess who had to extract the carrot. FML

#21179512
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51870) - you deserved it (4563)

On 06/18/2014 at 3:06pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was waiting at the bus stop and noticed a girl that I played netball with. I ran across the road to meet her and she ran across the car park to meet me. We hugged and looked at each other slowly backing away as we both realised that we didn't know each other. FML

#21083446
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46081) - you deserved it (6766)

On 03/10/2014 at 8:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, my husband and I decided to have a quickie before the kids woke up from their nap. The sex was amazing and I couldn't hold in my screams or not hit the wall. About 15 minutes in, both of our children came busting in with their nerf guns, screaming, "Where's the monster?" FML

#21025946
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53028) - you deserved it (32293)

On 01/12/2014 at 8:53pm - intimacy - by anon (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when I got a sudden agonising cramp in my foot. I cried out in pain, but he didn't stop. If anything, my cries of pain seemed to spur him on. FML

#20981691
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43914) - you deserved it (7889)

On 12/05/2013 at 2:10pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Sunderland)

Today, my girlfriend wants to make a video of us having sex for us to watch later and figure out how to improve our skills in bed. The problem is her choice of cameraman: her uncle. FML

#20978171
202 comments

Today, I started to come to during dental surgery. I clearly heard someone behind me say "Shit! Get this fucker back under!" then another person mentioning they'd have to kill me to avoid "another lawsuit", followed by laughter and the blackness of sleep. FML

#20909921
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56936) - you deserved it (3356)

On 10/06/2013 at 5:49pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while sitting in a crowded waiting room at the doctor's office, my 5-year-old daughter pointed at my 6-year-old son's crotch and boomed, "MOM, WHY DOES ANDY HAVE A FINGER DOWN THERE?" to which he yelled, "IT'S CALLED A COCK!" FML

#20898150
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48670) - you deserved it (6363)

On 09/27/2013 at 4:00pm - kids - by SerenityJ (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after having recently told my 4-year-old daughter that she won't grow big and tall if she doesn't eat her veggies, she decided to pass this wisdom on to a midget that we passed in the store. FML

#20877041
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56119) - you deserved it (9167)

On 09/11/2013 at 2:10pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I got a call from my son's kindergarten teacher. Apparently my son asked a girl to marry him. After she said no, he stabbed her with a fork. FML

#20829995
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59105) - you deserved it (5412)

On 08/10/2013 at 12:02am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mum picked up a bunch of tissues that were scattered around my room. She examined them, then asked me to stop wasting her potential grandchildren. FML

#20825949
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48726) - you deserved it (39909)

On 08/07/2013 at 6:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Egypt

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend grinning at me, her hand on my junk. I grinned back, then looked down and saw blood smeared all over her hand and my junk. After I started screaming and crying, she laughed and said it was fake blood. She recorded everything. FML

#20820496
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66991) - you deserved it (8835)

On 08/04/2013 at 3:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was washing up in a public bathroom, when I looked up for a second and saw a kid in the mirror staring back at me. I gasped, as I thought the place had been empty. He whispered, "It's time to die." I screamed and ran out, only to hear him burst out laughing behind me. FML

#20817313
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49687) - you deserved it (8423)

On 08/02/2013 at 4:57pm - misc - by lights on forever (woman) - Turkey (Istanbul)

Today, my father shot my fiancé. He's fine, but the wedding is off. FML

#20812145
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61059) - you deserved it (4167)

On 07/30/2013 at 8:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was reading in my apartment. Due to a heatwave and my lack of AC, I was completely naked. My cat jumped onto my lap, and as her claws dug into my stomach, I recoiled. This caused her to retreat, clawing at my nether regions in the process. My pussy mauled my pussy. FML

#20810087
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51213) - you deserved it (11670)

On 07/29/2013 at 5:18pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my phone went off, reminding me to take my birth control. Instead of vibrating as per usual, it rang. The ringtone had been changed to my boyfriend singing "It's birth control time, birth control time, take your pill, or I'll say it ain't mine." I was sitting in a quiet waiting room. FML

#20805312
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56034) - you deserved it (9299)

On 07/26/2013 at 9:14pm - misc - by turning red - United States



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