Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Pwn17

Search for a member

Pwn17
  • Town/Country : San Diego, California
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1327
  • Number of comments : 305
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 32 posted

About Pwn17 : Yeah, I'm pretty much done with this site. Bye.

Pwn17's last visitors

norotorsBeanuswick25lisaintpoor_gurll1198infected150metallica_winsToxicSilencemaddiealexx_ilovemychem

Pwn17's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of Pwn17's badges

Pwn17's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend convinced me do an Insanity workout with him. I passed out during the warmup. FML

#20776146
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41986) - you deserved it (10332)

On 07/11/2013 at 3:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my 13-year-old daughter and I went to a tropical themed restaurant. She wanted a strawberry Daiquiri, so I asked the waitress for a virgin strawberry Daiquiri. My daughter then said, "But dad, I'm not a virgin." FML

#20775827
334 comments

I agree, your life sucks (92419) - you deserved it (10330)

On 07/11/2013 at 10:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while ironing some shirts, my cat decided to hop up and investigate. To prevent him from burning himself, I instinctively moved the iron away and placed it flat on my other hand. FML

#20773891
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39660) - you deserved it (12123)

On 07/10/2013 at 4:58am - animals - by kutekittykatz (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, while leaving McDonald's, I threw a fry out the window to a flock of seagulls. I watched in the rear-view mirror as it landed in the opposite lane and about 60 winged rats descended upon the street, causing a truck to veer off the road and crash. FML

#20773275
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26527) - you deserved it (44469)

On 07/09/2013 at 10:48pm - misc - by John - United States

Today, working my job, I had to explain to a kid that Pokemon is owned by Nintendo and they don't make it for the Xbox. Upset by this, he took hold of my leg and started biting. I'm also suspended, because his mother complained when I kicked him off me. FML

#20771337
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45195) - you deserved it (2953)

On 07/08/2013 at 10:08pm - work - by Garchomp (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, my older brother told me that the only reason I like cats is because they control minds. I laughed. He was serious. FML

#20771105
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32914) - you deserved it (3127)

On 07/08/2013 at 7:26pm - animals - by Zoey_M - Saudi Arabia (Ar Riyad)

Today, I got mauled by some wild animals and had to get my butt cheek stitched up. The embarrassment doesn't end there though; the animals in question were kittens. The nurses on duty laughed and the entire ward found out. FML

#20770807
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38493) - you deserved it (5716)

On 07/08/2013 at 4:00pm - animals - by richardmrcs (man) - United Kingdom (Bradford)

Today, my dog decided to poop while inside a revolving door. Before I could do anything, the door swung around and smeared it everywhere. My dog excels at timing. FML

#20770214
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42363) - you deserved it (4027)

On 07/08/2013 at 7:19am - animals - by PerfectTiming - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, I had a dream about marrying Hitler. I've had this same dream three times now. My subconscious is starting to scare me. FML

#20766565
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43762) - you deserved it (4513)

On 07/06/2013 at 3:11am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, after spending months learning Chinese, selling my house and everything I own for my big transfer to Hong Kong, my boss decided I should instead go to our other branch across town. FML

#20761984
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45078) - you deserved it (2122)

On 07/03/2013 at 5:01pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I returned home from an extended vacation only to find out my cousin wasn't kidding when he said he was going to steal my boyfriend. I thought I was dating a straight guy. FML

#20761976
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41241) - you deserved it (3024)

On 07/03/2013 at 4:56pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had a job interview. All was going well until the interviewer asked me, "So, why should we hire you?" Without thinking, I blurted out, "Because, I'm awesome!" Don't think I'll be getting that one. FML

Today, my 12-year-old son played QWOP on my laptop. Half an hour later, he virtually destroyed it in a fit of rage. FML

#20752773
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31140) - you deserved it (4581)

On 06/28/2013 at 4:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Jordan (Al Balqa')

Today, after months of incredibly painful stomach cramps, I convinced my mom that I needed to see a doctor. Not even 2 minutes into the exam, the doctor tells me that I'm heavily constipated and advised some "prune juice" to help "clear all that shit out". My mom won't stop laughing at me. FML

#20751604
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37385) - you deserved it (4792)

On 06/27/2013 at 11:57pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went out on a date with a girl. Everything was going well until I shared how my family was affected by the 2010 earthquake in Haiti. She immediately got up and left, calling me a liar. Apparently, I'm "too cute" to be of Haitian descent. What the hell? FML



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: