About PurpleToast : Meow.
YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Today, it was my wedding. Every good wedding has slutty wedding sex, and I thought it would be over after my cousin and his girlfriend were caught in the parking lot. I was wrong, the sluttiest wedding sex goes to my drunk husband and sister in the coat room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35541) - you deserved it (2074)
On 05/25/2013 at 2:55am - love - by lizzie - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my friends and I were talking about the creepy stranger that used to stalk me back in high school. I guess his looks changed a lot through the years because I found out that he's my current boyfriend of 4 months. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38878) - you deserved it (11077)
On 05/24/2013 at 10:00am - love - by datgirl92 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my dad walked in on me lying down with my cat, eating ice cream, watching The Notebook with tears in my eyes. As if that's not bad enough, I'm a guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41947) - you deserved it (16083)
On 05/12/2013 at 5:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was getting ready to have sex with my boyfriend for the first time. It seems he thought I was a much larger cup size than I really am, because when he saw my actual boobs, he said, "Aaaaaaand they're gone". FML
I agree, your life sucks (49089) - you deserved it (10028)
On 04/27/2013 at 12:11am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, it was my wedding day. My new husband and I, for a laugh, did our first dance to LMFAO's "I'm sexy and I know it" with stupid moves and everything. 200 guests. Nobody laughed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42189) - you deserved it (23028)
On 04/24/2013 at 6:29pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)
Today, at work at a farm, we got a new calf. It looked like it had to poop, but was having difficulty. About four hours later it still hadn't pooped. Turns out it was born without an actual butthole. It was there, just sealed up by skin. I literally had to cut this poor calf a new butthole. FML
I agree, your life sucks (68981) - you deserved it (3077)
On 04/23/2013 at 10:01pm - animals - by halliemarie1818 - United States
Today, my mum asked me, "Shouldn't you be cleaning your room?" On impulse, I replied, "Shouldn't you be in the kitchen?" I've never been hit so hard in my life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28586) - you deserved it (94608)
Today, it's my only day off work in a while. I told my boss I'd be available via phone in case of emergencies. So far I've been called three times: To ask how the fax works, to let me know it's a slow day, and to ask me where the letter R is on a keyboard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41969) - you deserved it (4797)
On 04/19/2013 at 6:17am - work - by Anonymous - Germany (Berlin)
Today, I found a pound of cooked bacon in the dryer. When I asked my roommate about it, he confessed; his excuse was that he wanted to dry up the grease before eating it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32083) - you deserved it (2843)
On 04/18/2013 at 8:06pm - misc - by s0m3guy2010 - United States
Today, I woke up to my brother chopping all my bangs off. When I yelled at him, he could only shout back, "You can see clearly now, the bangs are gone!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (43960) - you deserved it (7045)
On 04/17/2013 at 12:13pm - kids - by my dumb bro - United States (Arkansas)
Today, at the exact moment that I leaned over to show my dad a picture on my phone, my boyfriend texted me: "I'm no weather man, but you can expect a few inches tonight." FML
I agree, your life sucks (53201) - you deserved it (9759)
On 04/17/2013 at 1:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate for the first time. A few hours later, we discovered he's highly allergic to my Summer's Eve soap. He looks like he's been attacked by bees. Yay for losing my v-card. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36819) - you deserved it (5864)
On 04/16/2013 at 7:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He wants us to stay friends, though, so he can continue to use my coffee maker. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38179) - you deserved it (3622)
On 04/15/2013 at 12:02pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Sor-Trondelag)
Today, I dressed up as Batman for a comic book convention. I was hit by a car on the way there by a man dressed up as the Joker for the same convention. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54562) - you deserved it (9168)
On 04/13/2013 at 1:04am - misc - by ironies a b*tch - United States (Illinois)
Today, thinking I was alone at work, I did an impression of Goldar from Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. I turned around to find out I wasn't alone; a cute girl was staring at me, unimpressed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22609) - you deserved it (14600)
On 04/09/2013 at 10:44pm - work - by Goldar - United States
Friday 24 May 2013
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