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PurpleFrostingg's favorite FMLs
Today, I was so baked out of my mind that I argued with my parakeet over who farted. I could be wrong, but I think I lost the argument. Worse still, my boyfriend had been standing in the doorway long enough to hear everything, even me farting. FML
by woohoo420 / 04/04/2012 at 12:14pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by anonymous / 02/07/2012 at 4:27am / United States (Nevada) / Health
by BKCK4187 / 12/19/2011 at 10:23pm / United States / Intimacy
by areyouserial / 12/05/2011 at 8:21am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, in geometry class, we were working in dead silence. Apparently my phone wasn't on vibrate, and I received 25 texts all at once, while it blasted "Hakuna Matataaaa" out of my back pocket. They weren't even texts from friends, just Facebook notifications. FML
by Makala / 12/03/2011 at 3:15am / Egypt (Al Qahirah) / Miscellaneous
Today, my son got really high and shaved the dog with my electric shaver. Not only does the dog look really bad, I didn't know my son used drugs. I now have to buy the dog a sweater and get my son some help. FML
by Anonymous / 10/26/2011 at 1:43am / United States (Minnesota) / Animals
Today, I woke up after a few friends came over last night. There are eggs, coins and Oreos glued to the ceiling, 10 broken jars, no food left, and most of the contents of my house are in the garden. And I'm naked and covered in permanent marker drawings of Pokémon. My parents return in an hour. FML
by danii / 10/03/2011 at 9:19pm / Reserved / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/28/2011 at 10:04am / United States / Miscellaneous
by BigBananaLover / 09/26/2011 at 2:20pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, while waiting in line at Gamestop, another customer and the cashier started chatting about how Pokémon is for kids, and anyone over 10 who's into it is weird. Embarrassed, I put the new Pokémon game back on the shelf and snuck out of the store. FML
by Anonymous / 09/25/2011 at 3:18pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by 5.9Cummins / 09/10/2011 at 11:18pm / Canada / Miscellaneous
Today, my best friend and I were playing Call of Duty, when he said he had to go to the bathroom. Curious, I checked his phone. A text message read, "Tell your friend you're going to the bathroom and come eat. Pizza is here." from his dad. Apparently, I'm not good enough to feed. FML
by Pizza-less / 09/04/2011 at 12:16am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
by piece of shed / 08/31/2011 at 10:00am / United States (New York) / Kids
by skichick54 / 08/24/2011 at 1:28am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
Today, after 18 years of struggling to provide my daughter with the finest educational opportunities I could afford, I dropped her off to start school at the best public university in the U.S. So far the only thing she's learned is what weed smells like. FML
by BerzerkelyBongBabe / 08/23/2011 at 5:55pm / United States (California) / Kids