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PurpleFrostingg's FML badges
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PurpleFrostingg's favorite FMLs
Today, a classmate's mother called my phone, threatening to have my dorm room raided for drugs. Why? She saw our text messages discussing where he would pick up the textbook I borrowed and thought it was the new "code name" for weed. FML
by a.white / 12/11/2013 at 6:58am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by childhoodupinsmoke / 11/29/2012 at 10:35pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by HappyMan / 08/02/2012 at 10:14pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/25/2012 at 6:54am / United States (California) / Kids
Today, I thought it would be a good idea to sneak out of work early and pay a little visit to the pub. I ended up staggering home, drunkenly making myself a nacho cheese dorito milkshake with the blender, then promptly puked my guts out all over the kitchen table. FML
by Anonymous / 07/20/2012 at 5:38pm / Ireland (Wexford) / Work
Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML
by Bontempi / 07/19/2012 at 2:55pm / France / Miscellaneous
by mustachio101 / 07/17/2012 at 7:30pm / United States (Alabama) / Love
by hopeless / 07/06/2012 at 1:46am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was telling my best friend that I was feeling unattractive, and that I never get asked out. As she was trying to make me feel better, we were interrupted by a stranger trying to hit on her. FML
by ugly / 06/11/2012 at 8:01am / Australia / Love
Today, after a very painful mouth surgery, I went home to take a nap. Then my nose started bleeding, so I stuck a tissue in it and fell asleep. When I woke up, I was so high from painkillers that when I saw the tissue, I thought it was a ghost. I screamed so loud I burst a stitch. FML
by LaurenB / 06/07/2012 at 2:12pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Health
by Darwin_Award_Winner / 06/07/2012 at 8:10am / United States (Texas) / Health
by Anonymous / 06/06/2012 at 2:21pm / United States / Health
Today, I went to visit my husband's grave. I was unable to mourn in peace because some teenagers were smoking pot and talking about a government conspiracy "to change the way gravity works" on the next grave over. FML
by notnicefools / 05/28/2012 at 10:51pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, against my wishes, my son snuck out of my house to go partying. When he came home, I called him in so I could properly discipline him. While I was talking, he staggered to our fish tank, pulled open the lid, and vomited straight into it. FML
by A-64 / 05/08/2012 at 4:48pm / Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest) / Kids
by xharmonyx / 04/24/2012 at 4:29am / United States / Work
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…