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PurpleDrankkx

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PurpleDrankkx
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 136
  • Number of comments : 19
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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PurpleDrankkx's favorite FMLs

Today, I marched in the St. Patrick's day parade. My horn has an inconveniently-placed spit valve that has to be drained frequently. At the end, I discovered every time I emptied it, it would spray all over the front of my pants. I marched an entire parade looking like I pissed my pants. FML

#21089223
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32379) - you deserved it (4551)

On 03/17/2014 at 5:48pm - misc - by Bandking (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, while driving, I saw a dog run across the road. Feeling sorry for the pup on a cold, rainy night, I pulled my car over to pick it up. Once in, it started freaking out so I turned on the light. It was then that I realized I'd just put a wild coyote on my passenger seat. FML

Today, someone hit my parked car. The impact caused the front of the car to go up onto the sidewalk, and I got a ticket for parking there. FML

#21046882
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45771) - you deserved it (3185)

On 02/01/2014 at 2:47am - misc - by ccgundum (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I used the restroom at a mall. I thought I was alone, so I started singing. When I got out of the stall, there were men staring at me. Not only did I embarrass myself with my own singing, I'd accidentally used the men's restroom too. FML

#21024837
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40795) - you deserved it (20070)

On 01/11/2014 at 7:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my dog has found a new game he likes. It involves him rolling around on my new bed sheets to build up static electricity and run and poke me with his nose so I get shocked. FML

#21008001
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41453) - you deserved it (4621)

On 12/28/2013 at 3:23am - animals - by honeybunny90 - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to pee during a supervised lockdown. I asked my teacher to take me since we couldn't be in the halls alone. Since class was going, she couldn't take me. Much to my dismay, she sent a school-wide email asking for someone to take me to pee. Six teachers took me, including my principal. FML

#20996748
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42115) - you deserved it (4250)

On 12/18/2013 at 4:56am - misc - by Anon - United States (California)

Today, as a pickup line, a guy said to me, "Yo, can I kiss your vag' under the mistletoe?" FML

#20985559
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43763) - you deserved it (3366)

On 12/08/2013 at 9:21pm - intimacy - by mistletoe (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I saw my friend's car in front of school. I'd had a bad day and just wanted to talk with her. I got in and sat down, and felt something squish beneath me. Turns out it wasn't actually my friend's car, and I'd just sat on a random woman's cake. FML

#20978310
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34424) - you deserved it (24129)

On 12/02/2013 at 3:04pm - misc - by Sherressa (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I forgot I left my tampons in a grocery bag packed with food that I put into the fridge. I realized two hours later while frantically looking for a tampon. I'm still cold down there. FML

#20966555
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37622) - you deserved it (10581)

On 11/22/2013 at 1:53am - misc - by InsertPopcicle (woman) - United States

Today, I donated blood. Afterwards, I regained consciousness on the floor with a half-eaten cookie in my mouth. FML

Today, my boyfriend told me that I have the bad habit of not doing the dishes before he has his daily piss in the sink. FML

#20923758
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42705) - you deserved it (4622)

On 10/17/2013 at 7:51am - misc - by Michelle (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boss told me that my attitude to work is awesome and that he'd follow my example of coming in half-an-hour early every day from now on. I relish those 30 minutes as the only time I can get work done without him constantly interrupting me. So much for that. FML

#20919859
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42950) - you deserved it (2926)

On 10/14/2013 at 6:38am - work - by Karansuni (woman) - Germany

Today, I learned that an antidepressant that works too well is a stimulant. I've been jittering and twitching like a meth-head, and my co-workers are asking when Jesse will be showing up with my "stuff". FML

#20896646
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33335) - you deserved it (2797)

On 09/26/2013 at 9:50am - health - by CancerFdMyLife (man) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, being the prank couple that we are, I decided to mess with my husband. When he got off work, I said, "The lady from your office called and said she was pregnant. From you." He immediately broke down crying, and said, "I knew it." Turns out, my fetus already has a sibling. FML

#20889450
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57664) - you deserved it (4792)

On 09/20/2013 at 9:30pm - intimacy - by oops - United States (Texas)

Today, I called work crying, telling them that I wouldn't be able to go to work tomorrow due to my grandmother's sudden and tragic death. After hanging up, I walked into the midnight release of Grand Theft Auto 5. I had no idea my boss was also an avid gamer. FML

#20884742
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16437) - you deserved it (83353)

On 09/17/2013 at 12:36am - work - by fired (man) - United States (Georgia)



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