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About PurelyCanadian : Hi :) I'm Emily. I'm a nineteen-year old Canadian who is happily in a relationship - and YES, you CAN talk to me. I own and run a small hobby farm in the heart of nowheres. I'll willingly talk about my animals if you're interested. I like to consider myself friendly, passionate, caring, enthusiastic and outgoing, and I love meeting people. Injury and accident prone - ask me about it. Sarcasm and dry humour is my favorite. I swear a lot, and generally just don't give a fuck. SEE!? I excel in making bad jokes and incredibly awful puns, which excessively and exclusively get down-voted because people have absolutely NO sense of humor AND because people suck. IMAGINE THAT. I'm die-hard for classic rock, alternative and some country music. I'm a hardcore country/Indie mix kind-of girl who absolutely hates fake people. And that's it for me.
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Today, I woke up with a vicious hangover. It wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't woken up to dozens of cans strewn all over the floor. I don't remember buying half the store's supply of pork and beans. FML
Today, I was being interviewed for a grant over the phone. When asked why I wanted to go to school to be an OB nursing assistant, I panicked and yelled, "BECAUSE VAGINAS ARE FASCINATING!" into the receiver. FML
Today, at my apartment complex, I was carrying a bag of trash up to the dumpster. A guy stopped his car and helped me carry it the rest of the way. I thanked him and he asked me out. I explained that I was married. He grabbed the trash bag and carried it back to my apartment. FML
Today, I started my job selling perfume in a department store. I decided to be creative and sprayed a little perfume towards the first person who walked by. She had an allergic reaction, and an ambulance had to be called. FML
Today, my loving five-year-old daughter started singing Christmas carols again. Ones that she made up herself, of course. Including "Walking in a fucking wonderland" and "Rudolph the red nosed asshole". FML
Today, while walking to work, I saw a homeless guy with a funny "NEED MONEY 4 BOOZE" sign, so I gave him a few spare dollars for his humor. On my way back home, he was out cold on the sidewalk with several empty bottles beside him. Whoops. FML
Today, I went for a romantic, anniversary meal with my wife. It was amazing, until we had to rush home halfway through because our daughter rang, informing us that her 20-year-old sister had broken her wrist trying to jump from the roof, onto the trampoline and into the pool. She 'miscalculated'. FML
Friday 30 January 2015