Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

PurelyCanadian

Offline (the 02/10/2015 at 4:15am) | Search for a member

PurelyCanadian

9Fucked!

PurelyCanadianPurelyCanadian
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 16 September 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1842
  • Number of comments : 161
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About PurelyCanadian : Hi :) I'm Emily. I'm a nineteen-year old Canadian who is happily in a relationship - and YES, you CAN talk to me. I own and run a small hobby farm in the heart of nowheres. I'll willingly talk about my animals if you're interested. I like to consider myself friendly, passionate, caring, enthusiastic and outgoing, and I love meeting people. Injury and accident prone - ask me about it. Sarcasm and dry humour is my favorite. I swear a lot, and generally just don't give a fuck. SEE!? I excel in making bad jokes and incredibly awful puns, which excessively and exclusively get down-voted because people have absolutely NO sense of humor AND because people suck. IMAGINE THAT. I'm die-hard for classic rock, alternative and some country music. I'm a hardcore country/Indie mix kind-of girl who absolutely hates fake people. And that's it for me.

PurelyCanadian's page activity

Visits<b>ancientera</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 4:38am<b>colinabi</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 4:17pm<b>ForGodAndMusic</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 3:17am<b>TacoTerrorist</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 6:34pm<b>LTMarine01</b> - the 07/08/2015 at 12:08pm<b>delfino1604</b> - the 07/08/2015 at 11:07am<b>xman98</b> - the 07/08/2015 at 9:56am<b>shain1988</b> - the 07/08/2015 at 8:08am<b>jsan727</b> - the 07/08/2015 at 2:13am<b>lil_jimmy</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 6:05am<b>Isaiah_T_Brown</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 7:57pm<b>illegalbeagle69</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 1:08am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 2:05am<b>xKG33x</b> - the 06/09/2015 at 7:17pm<b>birdybirdchirp</b> - the 06/06/2015 at 1:40am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 10:31am<b>kyle8211</b> - the 04/02/2015 at 4:32pm<b>Raelthelamb</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 8:57am

Fucked!<b>shain1988</b> - the 07/08/2015 at 2:09pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 8:05am<b>gary8082</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 11:40pm<b>Acerhawk</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 2:09am<b>S232Flash</b> - the 11/26/2014 at 11:10am<b>isaias56</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 9:57pm<b>brokenjawskhan</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 6:51am<b>monstermatt001</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 6:35am<b>alexsaw</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 7:53am

PurelyCanadian's FML badges

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of PurelyCanadian's badges

PurelyCanadian's favorite FMLs

Today, my young daughter came up to me, grabbed my face and said, "I'm putting you in the garbage." When I laughed and asked why, she looked me dead in the eye and said, "You are trash." FML

#21346789
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29464) - you deserved it (3342)

On 01/30/2015 at 12:41pm - kids - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I received a package from my deployed husband. It contained a scarf, a letter, and a bag full of his pubes. FML

#21310077
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31817) - you deserved it (3520)

On 12/02/2014 at 12:39pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my mom found my dildo, and got so angry that she beat me with it. FML

#21309415
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48409) - you deserved it (13588)

On 12/01/2014 at 12:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I woke up with a vicious hangover. It wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't woken up to dozens of cans strewn all over the floor. I don't remember buying half the store's supply of pork and beans. FML

#21304482
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23154) - you deserved it (7689)

On 11/23/2014 at 1:22pm - misc - by college student - United States (Ohio)

Today, my neighbor's five-year-old rode his tricycle into a history diorama I had spent days slaving over. When I confronted him, he just said, "Vroom vroom muthafucka." FML

Today, I walked in on my little brother making a Devil's trap so he could capture the demon he thinks is possessing my hamster. FML

#21287735
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32511) - you deserved it (3428)

On 10/29/2014 at 3:39pm - kids - by lexigan4 (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was being interviewed for a grant over the phone. When asked why I wanted to go to school to be an OB nursing assistant, I panicked and yelled, "BECAUSE VAGINAS ARE FASCINATING!" into the receiver. FML

#21286497
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27854) - you deserved it (11638)

On 10/27/2014 at 7:05pm - health - by lady parts - United States (Illinois)

Today, at my apartment complex, I was carrying a bag of trash up to the dumpster. A guy stopped his car and helped me carry it the rest of the way. I thanked him and he asked me out. I explained that I was married. He grabbed the trash bag and carried it back to my apartment. FML

#21285821
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37226) - you deserved it (4117)

On 10/26/2014 at 6:46pm - love - by mellielynnemily - United States

Today, I started my job selling perfume in a department store. I decided to be creative and sprayed a little perfume towards the first person who walked by. She had an allergic reaction, and an ambulance had to be called. FML

#21281002
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19514) - you deserved it (37803)

On 10/19/2014 at 10:24am - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, coming home, I opened up my door to find my drunk boyfriend trying to teach our three baby parakeets to perch on his erect penis. FML

#21278553
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35755) - you deserved it (3746)

On 10/15/2014 at 7:36pm - misc - by facepalm (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my loving five-year-old daughter started singing Christmas carols again. Ones that she made up herself, of course. Including "Walking in a fucking wonderland" and "Rudolph the red nosed asshole". FML

Today, while eating cotton candy, a drunk person came up to me and said "HEY! COTTON CANDY!" And bit me. FML

#21249322
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36522) - you deserved it (2707)

On 08/31/2014 at 10:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I learned that while other people drunk call their exes, I drunk adopt cats. Seven cats, to be exact. FML

#21248352
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43615) - you deserved it (10431)

On 08/30/2014 at 7:56am - animals - by cat lady (woman) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, while walking to work, I saw a homeless guy with a funny "NEED MONEY 4 BOOZE" sign, so I gave him a few spare dollars for his humor. On my way back home, he was out cold on the sidewalk with several empty bottles beside him. Whoops. FML

#21238336
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19428) - you deserved it (36813)

On 08/15/2014 at 5:10pm - money - by thoughthewasjoking (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I went for a romantic, anniversary meal with my wife. It was amazing, until we had to rush home halfway through because our daughter rang, informing us that her 20-year-old sister had broken her wrist trying to jump from the roof, onto the trampoline and into the pool. She 'miscalculated'. FML

#21230823
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42210) - you deserved it (3700)

On 08/06/2014 at 9:21am - kids - by We raised that fool (man) - United Kingdom (Derby)



FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie replies #1
  • Hello all you crybabies, from Land's End to John o' Groats. Yes, I'm finally here my lovelies. Since last week, my inbox hasn't stopped humming with the noise of new mail dropping into it, letters full…

Friday 31 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: