Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

PsychoticAsylum

Online | Search for a member

PsychoticAsylum

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 8774
  • Number of comments : 56
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About PsychoticAsylum : I'm a pretty good person to talk to. I'm a gender neutral person, which means I do not go by she/he, him/her, or male/female. I would prefer to be addressed as they/them/their. I'm a fan of heavy metal and it's many sub-genres but I listen to other music too. I like playing Nintendo video games and reading manga/comic books. My favorite being Kabuki: Circle of Blood. I love to draw, I drew my profile picture.

PsychoticAsylum's page activity

Visits<b>jonidoe</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 12:47am<b>goldengirlsfan</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 6:20pm<b>Noelletakumi</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 11:05am<b>sadbubbles</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 5:31pm<b>boring_boredom</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 11:15pm<b>TheNiceOne</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 7:32pm<b>xivoricbutterfly</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 5:14am<b>jdhebert</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 10:56am<b>AviatOfficial</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 3:44pm<b>Anthonymm2</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 4:48am<b>missathegirlwond</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 3:22am<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 8:12pm<b>Inediblepeaches</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 7:02am<b>SyntheticSound</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 1:11pm<b>mzrayray</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 8:07am<b>cakefete2</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 1:44pm<b>AnaMoore</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 3:35pm<b>Flendre_scarlet</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 10:49am

Liked!<b>sadbubbles</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 11:31pm

PsychoticAsylum's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of PsychoticAsylum's badges

PsychoticAsylum's favorite FMLs

Today, at the coffee shop where I work, my supervisor smelled "something weird, like sulfur." I spent the next ten minutes pretending to look for the source of the smell with her, rather than admit that it had come from me. FML

#14035963
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7891) - you deserved it (25721)

On 11/30/2010 at 1:49pm - work - by oopsididitagain (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my parents found several drawings of a dinosaur girl in various bondage equipment posing seductively in my purse. The drawings weren't mine, nor do I have any idea where they came from, but my parents now think I'm a freak. FML

#14022064
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26356) - you deserved it (3372)

On 11/29/2010 at 9:03am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I signed up to a Christian website in order to try and 'find God again'. I got banned. FML

#13982900
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15319) - you deserved it (23132)

On 11/26/2010 at 1:44am - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, on my first day of work, my new boss treated me to lunch. Thinking she was really nice, I thanked her for the treat. She fixed me with a cold, unsmiling stare and said, "Oh, don't thank me. I'm being paid to do this." FML

#13967011
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23216) - you deserved it (2276)

On 11/24/2010 at 9:32pm - work - by niceboss (woman) - Singapore

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when he started shaking really hard. When I asked him what he was doing, he simply said "I want to be better than your vibrator!" FML

#13961788
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32128) - you deserved it (10656)

On 11/24/2010 at 12:55pm - intimacy - by Heyy - United States (Washington)

Today, my best friend was fired from the place we both work at because she's a bad employee. After they fired her she said, "If I go, I'm taking my best friend with me." So they fired me too. I actually liked that job. FML

#13958382
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32117) - you deserved it (3585)

On 11/24/2010 at 3:45am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I received my acceptance letter to one of the most prestigious universities in the US, as well as a nice scholarship. I was so proud of myself, I eagerly showed my dad, hoping he would shed a tear or two. His only words were, "Just get a job so you can get the hell out of my house." FML

#13956105
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31933) - you deserved it (3243)

On 11/23/2010 at 11:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, the hooker I have been seeing regularly for almost a year texted me to say she thinks we should no longer see each other again. I just got dumped by a hooker. FML

#13915907
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15694) - you deserved it (53017)

On 11/20/2010 at 8:06pm - intimacy - by pst - South Africa (Western Cape)

Today, my house is suffering from an infestation of these tiny black beetles. After brushing my teeth tonight, I was rinsing out my toothbrush when I found that one of the beetles had curled up to die between the bristles. FML

#13883549
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31852) - you deserved it (3574)

On 11/18/2010 at 12:04am - health - by twice-a-day (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I bought one of my favorite albums from when I was growing up. When I looked at the liner notes, I learned that my favorite song on the album wasn't about taking a bath, but about going to a brothel. My second-favorite isn't about moving, but about suicide. My childhood just shattered. FML

#13873567
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22999) - you deserved it (5253)

On 11/17/2010 at 3:08am - intimacy - by nilssonfan (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my teacher turned around from the blackboard and screamed, "Stop chewing your gum like a cow!" That wasn't so bad.--The bad part was when she realized it was me, she apologized saying, " I am sorry. You are not really a cow. I don't want to traumatize you; you're just overweight." FML

#13836684
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33184) - you deserved it (7377)

On 11/14/2010 at 2:31am - misc - by teach (woman) - United States (California)

Today, a girl who has had a problem with me for as long as I can remember, tagged me in a Facebook status update in which she equated my intelligence to that of a mollusk and equated my weight to that of a hippopotamus. My boyfriend, as well as several of my "friends," liked it. FML

#13789800
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27486) - you deserved it (3986)

On 11/10/2010 at 12:33pm - misc - by smarter than a mollusk, skinner than a hippo - United States

Today, I ran into a police officer while on my bike. It wouldn't be so bad, had he not been riding a massive horse. FML

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time. He got on the bed on all fours and crawled towards me, saying "My precious... my precious" in Gollum's voice. FML

#13782516
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38915) - you deserved it (6984)

On 11/09/2010 at 9:10pm - intimacy - by single (woman) - United States (Virginia)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: