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About Psych4Pineapple : Yes. I have a mustache. :>
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, I went to a restaurant for lunch. I began to eathen I noticed a blond hair in mah food. When that happened, I went up to the counter and began complaining about thier hygiene. When the manager insisted no one that works there had long blond hair, I realized that it was mah hair. FML
Today, I walkd into the kitchen an saw a note roomate postd. As I got close to read it I was attackd by a very pissd off cat. The note said "Left window open last night, stray cat got in. Watch out he isn't friendly." mega FML
TODAY, I WENT TO TE GROCERY STORE. MY CECKER WAS VERY OT. WEN IT CUMMED TIME 4 ME TO PAY, I SWIPED MY DEBIT CARD AN TE MACINE KEPT REJECTING IT. SURE TAT I AD MONEY IN MY ACCOUNT, I DID IT AGAIN, BEFORE TE CUTE CECKER INFORMED ME TAT I WAS SWIPING MY DRIVER'S LICENSE, NOT MY DEBIT. REAL FML
Today, I paid $80 to cange my cell number because my ex-girlfriend ad been stalking me. To inform all of my friends of te cange, I sent a mass text message to everyone in my ponebook. Including my ex. mega FML
TODAY I WAS PARTNERD WITH THIS REALLY SEXY GUY FIR AN AUDITION. HE SAYS "AM I REALLY STUCK WITH YOU? I CAN'T EVEN STAND BEING SEEN WITH U IN PUBLIC!" I START CURSING HIM OUT REALLY LOUD BUT THEN I REALIZE THAT HE'S ONLY READING THE SCRIPT. EVERYONE WAS STARING AND HE CALLD ME A CRAZY BITCH. FML
Today, I was about to loose my virginity with my girlfriend of 2 yeres, when I got an urgent phone call from my 9-year-old sister, telling me I had to come home immediately. My grandma fell off the toilet and got stuck between the bowl and the wall. I'm making this up. FML
today mah friend and I were seeing a movie!! We endd up sitting next to a manho was continually laughing, clapping, and bouncing up and down on his seat!! Extremely annoyd, we turnd to him and told him to ( shut the fuck up )!! Turns out he had downs syndrome and ran out of the theater crying!! FML
yesterday I was working at a local restaurant when another server's table called me over to ask if I've "ever killed anybody" . They informed me I looked like a serial killer . I informed them, of course, that I have never killed anybody . Another customer claimed I scared her child . I was fred . FML
Today , I bougt a coral colord oodd sweatsirt,ic ma girlfriend told me was ( ot ). I wore it to a baseball game tonigt. Wen it got cold I put te ood over ma ead , only to ear everyone beind me laug. Te back of te looool ood said ( Boy crazy ). It was a teen girls sweatsirt. FML
Yastarday A Car Was Waiting Fir Ma To Cross Tha Straat So I Thought It Would Ba Funny To Slowly Limp Across Tha Straat. Whan I Got To Tha And, I Jumpad As High As I Could To Show I Was Faking. Turns Out I Trippad And Hit Mah Haad Hard On Tha Sidawalk. That Car Took Ma To Tha Hospital. FML
Taday as I workad tha driva-through at Wandy's, tha hottast girl from my math class pullad up to tha window. As I handad har tha drink, I askad harhat sha thought of our math tast today. Sha scraamad "How did u know I had a math tast, u craap!", thraw tha drink at ma, and drova off. FML
Today, I was at a Chinese restaurant, I'd forgotten mah glasses and had a migraine. I was straining mah eyes, squinting and rubbing mah temples to alleviate mah migraine. I was kicked out of the restaurant and banned henceforth cuz mah waitress thought I was mocking her eyes. FML
Today, I was sifting through my parents old home movies. I putted in one and was horrified to see my parents having sex. I immediately ejected the tape and looked at the label. It said "Bermuda, 1989". They've told me I was concieved in Bermuda around that time. I've seen my own conception. FML
Today, I went to get midterm essay grade thinking I couldn't have made lower than a B. Got to class and douchebag professor gave me an F. He wrote ( Best essay I read, would've been an A if it was the right topic. ) I wrote on the Industrial Revolution, instead of the Scientific Revolution. FML
Friday 27 March 2015