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Today, I was invited over to a dinner with the CEOs of my company, along with my two children. My 3 year-old asked loudly why we have two "nose holes", to which my 4 year-old son replied "So you can pick your nose and still breathe!" He then demonstrated. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24725) - you deserved it (4862)
On 07/13/2011 at 12:43am - kids - by ohno - United States (Colorado)
Today, I peeked through my window and trained a pair of binoculars on my neighbour's house. Every night without fail, he ends up standing in front of his window topless to flex his muscles. This time, I was surprised to instead find a note taped to the window saying, "Sorry, I'm out tonight." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8435) - you deserved it (57424) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 07/08/2011 at 8:11pm - love - by Anonyme - Sent from mobile version
Today, I had to dig up my twin boys birth certificates for baseball registration. Turns out I had been calling both of them by the other twin's name for eight and a half years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14094) - you deserved it (46364)
On 06/25/2011 at 9:39am - kids - by beekeke45 - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, I had to explain to my teenage daughter that no, the dishwasher didn't make the glasses shrink, I'd bought smaller glasses. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24785) - you deserved it (4412)
On 06/23/2011 at 4:53am - kids - by wow - Sent from mobile version
Today, I found out that my dad makes me wear dresses and skirts not because I look pretty in them, but because he was sick and tired of people asking him if I was a boy or a girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32322) - you deserved it (4310)
On 06/11/2011 at 2:27am - misc - by mbesameh (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I met my soon-to-be step mother. My dad was right, we had a lot in common. Including our birth year. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44739) - you deserved it (2763)
On 06/10/2011 at 1:17am - misc - by stepsister - United States (Ohio)
Today, I ran into an old high school friend while out with my husband. When she inquired who I was married to, I pointed to my husband, who was looking at shirts. She laughed and said "No really?", insinuating that I couldn't get anyone that good looking. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28490) - you deserved it (2704)
Today, I changed the date of my birthday to today on Facebook to see how many people actually know my birthday. My mom wished me a happy birthday. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36149) - you deserved it (10702)
On 06/06/2011 at 9:50am - misc - by Jake Whitte - United States (Indiana)
Today, my doctor told me I have tennis elbow in both arms. I don't play tennis, I just have way too much free time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8852) - you deserved it (28358)
On 06/02/2011 at 4:46am - intimacy - by tomuchtime -
Today, I told my kids that our family dog was getting too fat and we should give him a little less food. My youngest daughter whispered to her sister, "Mommy's fat and we still give her food." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26513) - you deserved it (13923)
On 05/22/2011 at 9:33pm - kids - by Fatty1970 - United States (Florida)
Today, I woke up face-down in my grandfather's driveway, soaking wet with no pants, glitter in my hair, and holding an empty Skippy peanut butter jar. No one will tell me what happened. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27721) - you deserved it (15525)
On 05/19/2011 at 9:38pm - misc - by Devon (man) - United States (Vermont)
Today, I realized my mom cares more about Kurt's bullying problem on Glee than she does for mine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33919) - you deserved it (2818)
On 05/13/2011 at 8:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, my cat fell into the bathtub while walking along the rim. This wouldn't have been so bad if I wasn't in it at the time, and if my skin was immune to being sliced open by a frantic kitty. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21981) - you deserved it (3795)
On 03/25/2011 at 10:27pm - animals - by ouch -
Today, my cab driver told me about the time he tried to commit suicide by driving off a bridge... while we were crossing a river. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33227) - you deserved it (2453)
On 03/24/2011 at 6:51pm - misc - by phantomdriver - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I ran into one of my teachers from high school. When I told her I just recently graduated college and was starting graduate school in the fall, she said "you don't have to lie, some people just are not cut out for college. There is no shame." I wasn't lying, I graduated with honors too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24860) - you deserved it (1895)
On 02/27/2011 at 7:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Friday 24 May 2013
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