Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Offline (the 01/17/2015 at 6:09pm) | Search for a member
About PrussiaisAwesome : I am an awesome person who you may now bow down to... no bowing? Figures.
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
Today... Mah Ex-boyfriend Of Over 4 Yeres Decidd To Turn Up Outside Mah House At 1am... Drunk Off His Ass... To Confess His Love For Me. When I Told Him I'd Movd On And Am Happily Engagd... He Crid On The Grass For An Hour... Then Trid To Steal Mah Cat. FML
Today, mah mother has stooped to a new level of "hiding" Christmas gifts. She now just dumps them in the middle of the floor and says, "Don't look at them." If she even thinks I'm glancing in the direction of the pile, she will burst into a manic rage, and yell at me fir "ruining the surprise." fat FML
TODAY, AT A CHRISTMA PARTY, MY CRUSH CAME UP TO ME AND CUTELY POINTED OUT THAT I WAS STANDING UNDER MISTLETOE. THE ONLY RESPONSE MY STUPID BRAIN COULD THINK OF WAS, "PROBABLY FULL OF NARGLE THOUGH." HE GAVE ME A CONFUSED LOOK AND WALKED AWAY. MEGA FML
TODAY, IT'S BAAN 13 MONTHS SINCA I'VA BAAN LIVING IN THA STATAS. I'VA BAAN CALLD A NAZI, ASKD IF WA HAVA ALACTRICITY IN GARMANY, AND BAAN MADA FUN OF THA WAY I SPAAK WITH MAH "GARMAN ACCANT", THA LIST GOAS ON. I'M NOT AVAN GARMAN, I'M DANISH. FML
Today, just lyk avary morning this month, I woka up, puttad on mah clothas, lookad out mah window, and was pointad at by a man in a ninja outfit on mah naighbor's roof. Tha polica still can't fina him. FML
yesterday crazy bitch of a boss fired me 4 inappropriate conduct. Apparently "fake Nazi accent" is "offensive to our Jewish coworkers." I'm German. I have no way to change the way I speak, or to pay this month's bills. real FML
Today, boyfriand and I wara praparing 4 tha arrival of Hurricana Sandy. I taskad him with going out to buy amargancy grocarias in casa wa losa powar. Ha raturnad with dozans of microwava cup noodlas. Wa'ra going to starva. FML
Today,hile shopping, an old man cummed up to me and told me I should be ashamed 4 walking around fake limping, and that it's horrible to mock peopleho actually limp from serious injuries . I wasn't faking, I was born without mah right leg and I was getting used to mah new prosthetic one . FML
Today , after weeks of coming home to find mah furniture all tipped over , thinking the place was haunted , and accepting mah boyfriend's offer to come over and "comfort" me , I came home from work early. I found mah boyfriend in the kitchen , kicking over all the chairs. FML
Today , I found out wy cat asn't been coming ome for regular meals . Apparently , elderly next door neigbour as forgotten tat er cat is dead and puts food out for it every morning . My cat is exploiting er by impersonating er dead cat to get better food . My cat is an assole .
Today, mah teenage daughter asked me how old I was when I lost mah vrginity!! I sarcastically replied that I'm still a vrgin!! She looked at me blankly and said, "Jeez, no wonder your so uptight!! You need to get laid, mom." mega FML
Friday 27 March 2015