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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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ProtoBuster_1

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ProtoBuster_1
  • Town/Country : Temple Hills, MD, United States of America
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 13 May 1979 (32 years)
  • Number of visits : 689
  • Number of comments : 60
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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ProtoBuster_1's favorite FMLs

Today, I sold my Xbox and Kinect to a guy. I forgot that sometimes I'd play Dance Central naked, and the Kinect would make videos. This guy now has videos of me, naked, badly dancing. FML

#18791715 (239)

I agree, your life sucks (3284) - you deserved it (12058)

On 01/13/2012 at 12:05am - misc - by anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my new girlfriend, with whom I have not had sex, showed me her collection of sex toys. She picked up one approximately the size of my forearm and said "This one is my favorite" now I'm scared for her to see me naked. FML

#12768681 (219)

I agree, your life sucks (31731) - you deserved it (3080)

On 08/27/2010 at 5:15am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, some drunk dude broke into my house while my parents were out. Scared, I asked him what he wanted, his response was "cookies." FML

#7264308 (191)

I agree, your life sucks (1191) - you deserved it (165)

On 01/10/2010 at 8:10pm - misc - by wowhoopla - Sent from mobile version

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was wearing a shirt that had a picture of a squirrel and acorns with a caption reading "Protect Your Nuts". My dad walked up to me, read my shirt, then punched me in the balls. FML

#7227808 (119)

I agree, your life sucks (6954) - you deserved it (26151)

On 01/09/2010 at 12:01am - misc - by squirrel (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I realized that our generation will be remembered as the kids who liked sparkly vampires. FML

#6439149 (409)

I agree, your life sucks (57271) - you deserved it (8514)

On 11/24/2009 at 7:08pm - misc - by buhknee - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was hit by a car speeding through an intersection after the light had already turned red. Still partly blacked out, I crawled onto the sidewalk and I sat down. The woman rolled down her car window and yelled, "Watch where you're going!" as she drove by. FML

#6067303 (113)

I agree, your life sucks (28691) - you deserved it (1404)

On 10/30/2009 at 4:06am - misc - by legotron (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I visited my boyfriend's house excited about the romantic night he promised me. As time passed, we started making out and heading up to his room. Rose petals and candles filled his room. "How romantic", I thought. That is, until we saw his 5 year old sister blowing up condom balloons. FML

#6020762 (90)

I agree, your life sucks (22651) - you deserved it (3395)

On 10/27/2009 at 6:20am - love - by kahemae44 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I decided to pay a suprise visit to my boyfriend's house. I let myself in, walked up to his bedroom and found him dancing around. In the dress I had left the other weekend. FML

#5971650 (126)

I agree, your life sucks (25348) - you deserved it (3740)

On 10/24/2009 at 8:20am - misc - by nnnaaazzz - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I had an argument with my wife. I told her to get back in the kitchen. How does she respond? By doing what I told her to do, and returning to hit me with a frying pan. FML

#5811871 (363)

I agree, your life sucks (5382) - you deserved it (69171)

On 10/13/2009 at 2:54am - love - by PanFace (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I got a job at McDonald's because I've been really needing money. After work, I got some food with the Monopoly pieces. I completed the set for $5,000, but I can't claim it because I work for McDonald's. FML

#5811101 (135)

I agree, your life sucks (27751) - you deserved it (2579)

On 10/13/2009 at 1:41am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was at soccer camp and was hit in the face with a ball. I walked to the nurse and asked for a napkin or tissues to help stop the bleeding. The only thing she could come up with? A tampon. I spent 20 minutes with a tampon shoved up my nostril in front of my laughing teammates. FML

#5804485 (127)

I agree, your life sucks (18151) - you deserved it (2247)

On 10/12/2009 at 8:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, my new roommate decided to put his pet hamster in the same cage as my beloved hamster. Apparently he wanted them to make hamster babies. They are both males. His hamster attacked mine and tore it to pieces. I just finished cleaning up the mess. FML

#5774966 (114)

I agree, your life sucks (30974) - you deserved it (1485)

On 10/11/2009 at 12:16pm - animals - by traumatised (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I decided to see if electric dog collars work on human necks. They do. FML

#5769209 (204)

I agree, your life sucks (4541) - you deserved it (76123)

On 10/11/2009 at 12:40am - health - by zappy (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I discovered that the school I transferred from last year is closing. All the people that I so happily escaped from and left behind at that school will now be flocking to my new school senior year. Faaaantastic. FML

#5731008 (77)

I agree, your life sucks (27672) - you deserved it (2177)

On 10/08/2009 at 10:30pm - misc - by Augh. (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I had my final divorce proceeding. The judge denied my divorce because my husband is unemployed. I can't get a divorce until he gets a job to pay child support. He hasn't had a job for 3 years. FML

#5730888 (124)

I agree, your life sucks (30041) - you deserved it (2207)

On 10/08/2009 at 10:26pm - love - by branwen5 - United States