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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I went up to a girl at a bus stop and started chatting her up. Her response? "Am I being robbed?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (22646) - you deserved it (4995)
On 04/04/2011 at 2:15am - misc - by Anonymous - Mozambique (Maputo)
Today, I decided to go down on my girlfriend. In the midst of her orgasm, she grabbed my head with her legs, performing a submission most UFC fighters could be proud of, and she held on for so long that I was suffocated. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30318) - you deserved it (7426)
On 03/30/2011 at 12:43am - intimacy - by kingpin7 - United States
Today, my wife created a "Points Reward" system for the privilege of sex. 10 points for doing the dishes, 20 for the laundry, etc. How many points do I need before I can have sex with her? 2300. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59067) - you deserved it (11124)
On 03/22/2011 at 10:59am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend said "It's funny how every time we have sex I'm wearing these panties." We've been having sex every day for the last six days. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38214) - you deserved it (4870)
On 02/16/2011 at 12:51pm - intimacy - by Lovenem (man) - United States (Indiana)
Today, while sitting on the couch, my boyfriend came over, pulled his penis out of his fly, and started stabbing me in the face with it while humming the Jaws theme. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37529) - you deserved it (10100)
On 02/15/2011 at 2:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I got a call from my daughter’s teacher asking me to come pick her up. My daughter wouldn’t tell her what was wrong. I left an important work meeting. When I got there she stated her boyfriend broke up with her and she couldn't emotionally make it through the rest of the day. She's 5. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43044) - you deserved it (5487)
On 02/08/2011 at 12:46pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I saw my mom run across the house naked for a condom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42295) - you deserved it (2867)
On 02/05/2011 at 7:02am - misc - by bob - United States (Arizona)
Today, while in my room sleeping, my little brother deemed it necessary to come in and drop a book on my face. When I sat up with a now bloody nose, he looked at me, pointed, and said "You've just been facebooked" and ran away giggling. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34595) - you deserved it (6217)
On 02/02/2011 at 12:57am - kids - by Malakai - United States
Today, this guy I have a huge crush on came with me to my house to study. I was warmly welcomed by my drunken mother laying naked on the floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27058) - you deserved it (1905)
On 01/30/2011 at 9:03pm - misc - by madelynn (woman) - United States
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31417) - you deserved it (20278) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/17/2011 at 4:53am - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins
Today, my husband of 19 years took our children out for dinner, told them he's gay, then sent them home to tell me for him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34920) - you deserved it (2380)
On 01/08/2011 at 8:56am - intimacy - by trifioso (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my boyfriend decided to re-enact a scene from Family Guy. He locked me in the car with him and farted deadly ones repeatedly. He wouldn't let me out until I learned to "love the gas." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29293) - you deserved it (5839)
On 01/04/2011 at 3:09pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Reserved
Today, I asked my boyfriend what he was being for halloween. He said "Single". FML
I agree, your life sucks (35832) - you deserved it (3484)
On 10/27/2010 at 2:01am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my boyfriend decided to come over and surprise me. When he got to my apartment and heard the shower running, he decided get in and join me. I was walking my dog, my mother is in town for the weekend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31887) - you deserved it (2798)
On 10/25/2010 at 6:09pm - animals - by sly - United States (Texas)
Today, I was casually looking through my girlfriend's phone while she got ready, though she made me promise not to. To my confusion, I discovered that she had me listed as 'Saturday' in her contacts. There was also a Thursday, Friday and Sunday listed. I only ever see her on Saturdays. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33576) - you deserved it (7056)
On 10/20/2010 at 12:47am - love - by iprobablyhaveherpes - Australia (Western Australia)
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