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Primus

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Primus

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 23 January 1995 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2662
  • Number of comments : 338
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Primus's page activity

Visits<b>One_Way</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 1:47am<b>jazzybrar</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 4:53pm<b>legoman213579</b> - the 06/02/2015 at 10:41pm<b>GavinoFreedom</b> - the 06/01/2015 at 3:57pm<b>JustForRetorts</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 1:24am<b>max367</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 11:55pm<b>deimus</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 8:18am<b>ClassicCutie</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 6:43am<b>PurpleDarthVader</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 1:00pm<b>cummeariver</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 7:55pm<b>venomousflower</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 2:57pm<b>cmonger</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 6:10pm<b>ZombieSazza</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 6:29am<b>origamidragon</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 9:00pm<b>Maclaine21</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 12:46pm<b>calphae</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 2:06am<b>Kitty_Kat44</b> - the 12/31/2014 at 2:52am<b>TiiBags</b> - the 12/21/2014 at 1:41am

Primus's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Primus's favorite FMLs

Today, I had a date with a girl at a fancy restaurant. In the middle of it she says, "Excuse me, I have to use the bathroom." I watched her get up, walk over to the door, leave, get in her car, and drive away. FML

#11045008
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41124) - you deserved it (5646)

On 06/07/2010 at 10:21pm - love - by Th3BaconNinja (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I reached a new low and embarrased my entire family. While in the frozen section of Walmart, I dropped to my knees and let out a horrific, agonizing scream, when I found out they were out of Strawberry Toaster Strudels. FML

#8719561
455 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7779) - you deserved it (55721)

On 02/28/2010 at 2:17pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I learned explosive diarrhea is real. I felt it coming and dashed into our supermarket. 10 feet in, liquid poo started spewing down my pants legs. 150 feet to go. I ran. It ran. They watched. After 15 minutes of cleaning, I slunk out. Now, I have to find a new market, maybe a new town. FML

#6433881
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41397) - you deserved it (3201)

On 11/24/2009 at 6:44am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I told my boyfriend how happy I was with him. He responded by pulling down his pants and slapping his ass. I have no idea what that was supposed to mean. FML

#6268851
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32953) - you deserved it (5406)

On 11/12/2009 at 2:11am - love - by neuroticallyours (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was on my computer when the girl that I really like instant-messages me. I went to type back, accidentally pressed control-V, and posted an entire article on how to remove genital warts. FML

#5579268
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14332) - you deserved it (42871)

On 10/01/2009 at 1:58am - health - by Garrett (man) - United States (Oregon) - moderated by Kevin Nealon

Today, I was eating MandMs on a chair when I dropped one and it fell under my crotch. My mom came in to see my hand on my crotch and me muttering, "Where is that little bastard?" FML

#5187635
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59624) - you deserved it (15339)

On 09/11/2009 at 2:26pm - misc - by awilson (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was enjoying some much needed serenity while I ate lunch in an empty park. To my surprise, an older, clean cut man in a suit sits on the bench next to me. Without saying a word, he unleashes the most foul of farts I've ever witnessed, gets up, gives me a nod and leaves. FML

#2932416
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74708) - you deserved it (5547)

On 06/16/2009 at 2:15am - misc - by Tim (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I woke up to my wife talking in her sleep, "No Brandon! I don't want to have sex!" My wife won't have sex with me when she's awake OR in her dreams. FML

#2697150
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75152) - you deserved it (5891)

On 06/07/2009 at 5:49pm - intimacy - by BW (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I went to the store to buy groceries. I didn't care how I looked, so I wore an old shirt that said, "Thousands of my potential children died on your daughter's face last night." I ran into my girlfriend's parents at the store. FML

#2244608
455 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42317) - you deserved it (145630)

On 05/24/2009 at 3:50pm - misc - by helloitsbrian6969 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was flirting via text with a coworker. Things started getting heated, and I wanted to send her a sexy picture. I asked if she had any suggestions. She said, "Your nuts!" She meant, "YOU'RE nuts." I sent her a photo of my junk. I offended a co-worker with incriminating evidence. FML

#869850
347 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38402) - you deserved it (92569)

On 04/08/2009 at 12:10pm - intimacy - by blizzard_of_77 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was flirting via text with a coworker. Things started getting heated, and I wanted to send her a sexy picture. I asked if she had any suggestions. She said, "Your nuts!" She meant, "YOU'RE nuts." I sent her a photo of my junk. I offended a co-worker with incriminating evidence. FML

#869850
347 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38402) - you deserved it (92569)

On 04/08/2009 at 12:10pm - intimacy - by blizzard_of_77 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that because of my high blood pressure I can't have sex for one month. My wedding is next weekend and the following two weeks are my honey moon. FML

#771915
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (242088) - you deserved it (24726)

On 04/02/2009 at 7:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went to the store to buy some condoms for my girlfriend, Kim and I. I was in a rush and when I looked at the cashier realized it was her father. Nervous and hoping to reassure him, I go "don't worry, I'm not using these with Kim." That didn't help. FML

#107795
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27137) - you deserved it (68962)

On 02/22/2009 at 8:38pm - intimacy - by madfather (man) - United States (Florida)



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