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Primus

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Primus

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 23 January 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2216
  • Number of comments : 338
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Primus's page activity

Visits<b>markcallanan_</b> - 14 hours ago<b>Ashafarah</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 1:41pm<b>xxBFMVAAMIWxx</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 1:49am<b>TheMrJoee</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 7:51pm<b>wellthen7154</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 5:04pm<b>blcusername</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 11:40am<b>Fausty29</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 1:11am<b>awkwardology</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 7:59am<b>Surfboy1017</b> - the 08/02/2014 at 11:59am<b>LilTiki559</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 1:52pm<b>lexrawrzums</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 2:29am<b>rabbi1010</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 10:46am<b>munuxi</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 4:32pm<b>zaphinarosee</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 4:13pm<b>AHotCupOfCoffee</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 8:59pm<b>doctor__who</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 4:17am<b>HexicDragon</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 6:36am<b>MattM95</b> - the 06/10/2014 at 8:16am

Primus's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Primus's favorite FMLs

Today, I had a date with a girl at a fancy restaurant. In the middle of it she says, "Excuse me, I have to use the bathroom." I watched her get up, walk over to the door, leave, get in her car, and drive away. FML

#11045008
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39014) - you deserved it (5453)

On 06/07/2010 at 10:21pm - love - by Th3BaconNinja (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I reached a new low and embarrased my entire family. While in the frozen section of Walmart, I dropped to my knees and let out a horrific, agonizing scream, when I found out they were out of Strawberry Toaster Strudels. FML

#8719561
451 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7219) - you deserved it (53481)

On 02/28/2010 at 2:17pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I learned explosive diarrhea is real. I felt it coming and dashed into our supermarket. 10 feet in, liquid poo started spewing down my pants legs. 150 feet to go. I ran. It ran. They watched. After 15 minutes of cleaning, I slunk out. Now, I have to find a new market, maybe a new town. FML

#6433881
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38731) - you deserved it (2946)

On 11/24/2009 at 6:44am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I told my boyfriend how happy I was with him. He responded by pulling down his pants and slapping his ass. I have no idea what that was supposed to mean. FML

#6268851
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32682) - you deserved it (5388)

On 11/12/2009 at 2:11am - love - by neuroticallyours (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was on my computer when the girl that I really like instant-messages me. I went to type back, accidentally pressed control-V, and posted an entire article on how to remove genital warts. FML

#5579268
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13383) - you deserved it (41019)

On 10/01/2009 at 1:58am - health - by Garrett (man) - United States (Oregon) - moderated by Kevin Nealon

Today, I was eating MandMs on a chair when I dropped one and it fell under my crotch. My mom came in to see my hand on my crotch and me muttering, "Where is that little bastard?" FML

#5187635
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59143) - you deserved it (15253)

On 09/11/2009 at 2:26pm - misc - by awilson (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was enjoying some much needed serenity while I ate lunch in an empty park. To my surprise, an older, clean cut man in a suit sits on the bench next to me. Without saying a word, he unleashes the most foul of farts I've ever witnessed, gets up, gives me a nod and leaves. FML

#2932416
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72935) - you deserved it (5395)

On 06/16/2009 at 2:15am - misc - by Tim (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I woke up to my wife talking in her sleep, "No Brandon! I don't want to have sex!" My wife won't have sex with me when she's awake OR in her dreams. FML

#2697150
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72423) - you deserved it (5645)

On 06/07/2009 at 5:49pm - intimacy - by BW (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I went to the store to buy groceries. I didn't care how I looked, so I wore an old shirt that said, "Thousands of my potential children died on your daughter's face last night." I ran into my girlfriend's parents at the store. FML

#2244608
455 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40490) - you deserved it (140551)

On 05/24/2009 at 3:50pm - misc - by helloitsbrian6969 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was flirting via text with a coworker. Things started getting heated, and I wanted to send her a sexy picture. I asked if she had any suggestions. She said, "Your nuts!" She meant, "YOU'RE nuts." I sent her a photo of my junk. I offended a co-worker with incriminating evidence. FML

#869850
343 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36503) - you deserved it (89577)

On 04/08/2009 at 12:10pm - intimacy - by blizzard_of_77 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was flirting via text with a coworker. Things started getting heated, and I wanted to send her a sexy picture. I asked if she had any suggestions. She said, "Your nuts!" She meant, "YOU'RE nuts." I sent her a photo of my junk. I offended a co-worker with incriminating evidence. FML

#869850
343 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36503) - you deserved it (89577)

On 04/08/2009 at 12:10pm - intimacy - by blizzard_of_77 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that because of my high blood pressure I can't have sex for one month. My wedding is next weekend and the following two weeks are my honey moon. FML

#771915
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (235116) - you deserved it (24536)

On 04/02/2009 at 7:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went to the store to buy some condoms for my girlfriend, Kim and I. I was in a rush and when I looked at the cashier realized it was her father. Nervous and hoping to reassure him, I go "don't worry, I'm not using these with Kim." That didn't help. FML

#107795
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25467) - you deserved it (66204)

On 02/22/2009 at 8:38pm - intimacy - by madfather (man) - United States (Florida)



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