About PrimeStarscream : Megatron can go leap off a bridge.
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PrimeStarscream's favorite FMLs
Today, I had four separate allergic reactions. The first from the pillow at the hotel I was staying at, the second and third from two separate ice cream parlors due to cross-contamination, and the fourth from peanut dust in the air on the plane ride home from my vacation. FML
by Allergies suck / 11/22/2016 at 10:33am / United States (Connecticut) / Health
by Husband / 11/22/2016 at 9:33am / United States (District of Columbia) / Holidays
Today, I found out that I'm not welcome at my boyfriend's dad funeral, because his ex-wife has invited herself, and it would be too awkward to explain to his extended family, most of whom apparently don't yet know that he's divorced. FML
Today, my relationship with my family is so bad that when someone burst into my house without ringing the doorbell, my first assumption was, "Oh God I hope it's not my mum visiting!" rather than, "Oh God, it's a burglar!" It was actually my mother-in-law, and I was truly relieved. FML
by saracenslament / 11/22/2016 at 6:47am / Miscellaneous
Today, I missed an important meeting at work because I was vomiting from painful cramps. Just last week I was recommending that everyone get the implant because I hadn't had symptoms in two years. FML
by Bawsack / 11/22/2016 at 4:45am / United Kingdom (Edinburgh, City of) / Health
by buttsmcgee / 11/22/2016 at 2:05am / United States (Oregon) / Money
Today I visited my boyfriend's house for Thanksgiving. The fast food from the drive made me really need to poop, so I did my business and flipped on the air vent. Turns out the vent sparked a hot spot in the attic and caused a fire. I literally set my boyfriend's house on fire with my shit. FML
Today, I yelled at a new employee for violating the company's makeup policy which is minimum coverage. She had red lipstick, very dark drawn eyebrows, and foundation that made her look like a ghost. She took out a makeup wipe and used it then showed me it, only to reveal she doesn't wear any. FML
by SorrySnowWhite / 11/21/2016 at 3:13pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
by children ain't pawns / 11/21/2016 at 10:23am / Australia (Western Australia) / Kids
by _kristaaxo / 11/21/2016 at 4:24am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, I woke up and opened my curtains to see my gardener up a ladder in front of my window tending to the plants growing up the side of the wall. This would've been fine if his ballsack wasn't hanging out his shorts. FML
by dieders / 11/21/2016 at 1:34am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
Today, my wife and I both got released from the hospital. She was admitted for the birth of our daughter. I was admitted with a broken arm from when my mother-in-law shoved me out of the way because she wanted to be the first one to hold the baby after my wife. FML
by Crazy In-Laws / 11/20/2016 at 5:54pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Health