About PrimeStarscream : Megatron can go leap off a bridge.
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PrimeStarscream's favorite FMLs
Today I visited my boyfriend's house for Thanksgiving. The fast food from the drive made me really need to poop, so I did my business and flipped on the air vent. Turns out the vent sparked a hot spot in the attic and caused a fire. I literally set my boyfriend's house on fire with my shit. FML
Today, I yelled at a new employee for violating the company's makeup policy which is minimum coverage. She had red lipstick, very dark drawn eyebrows, and foundation that made her look like a ghost. She took out a makeup wipe and used it then showed me it, only to reveal she doesn't wear any. FML
by SorrySnowWhite / 11/21/2016 at 3:13pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
by children ain't pawns / 11/21/2016 at 10:23am / Australia (Western Australia) / Kids
by _kristaaxo / 11/21/2016 at 4:24am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, I woke up and opened my curtains to see my gardener up a ladder in front of my window tending to the plants growing up the side of the wall. This would've been fine if his ballsack wasn't hanging out his shorts. FML
by dieders / 11/21/2016 at 1:34am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
Today, my wife and I both got released from the hospital. She was admitted for the birth of our daughter. I was admitted with a broken arm from when my mother-in-law shoved me out of the way because she wanted to be the first one to hold the baby after my wife. FML
by Crazy In-Laws / 11/20/2016 at 5:54pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Health
by in love with an idiot / 11/20/2016 at 6:47am / Angola (Luanda) / Love
by murtato / 11/19/2016 at 7:40pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was the only sober person at a bonfire. After being hit in the eye with a snowball, taking people's keys away because they were too wasted to drive, making sure no one died and stabbing the bottom of my foot with a nail, I got to sleep in the snow. Without any blankets. FML
by Alaska fire / 11/19/2016 at 5:14pm / United States (Alaska) / Miscellaneous
Today, at my job in a pub, I was cleaning the pub garden ready for closedown. There was a girl crouched on the floor under a table. By the time I'd realised what she was doing and turned around, she'd already finished, apologised, and left me to clean up her piss. FML
by wtfamidoing98 / 11/19/2016 at 2:54pm / United Kingdom (Ceredigion) / Work
by nowbrokevaper / 11/19/2016 at 1:47pm / United States (California) / Work
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, my energetic 10-month-old decided to stay up four hours past bedtime. After I FINALLY got…