About PrimeStarscream : Megatron can go leap off a bridge.
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PrimeStarscream's favorite FMLs
by funnyhowthatwork / 08/17/2016 at 1:19pm / United States (Colorado) / Love
Today, my brother showed my wife a Craigslist ad by someone seeking casual sex. It had very specific details that made it seem like I wrote it. My brother later admitted in private that he made the post as revenge for me not loaning him $500 last month. Meanwhile, my wife still thinks I'm unfaithful. FML
by Anonymous / 08/17/2016 at 11:18am / Australia (South Australia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I spent nearly seven hours clearing out our storage room in order to transform it into my art studio. Things were going great until I tweaked my back. At least from my stationary position in bed I have a perfect view of the table I can't work at for the next 2 to 4 weeks. FML
by ArtistBlock / 08/17/2016 at 3:54am / United States (Arizona) / Health
by FriendlessLoser / 08/17/2016 at 3:11am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at a bar with my girlfriend, and I noticed an obnoxious guy from college I used to hang out with. I tried to avoid eye contact, but all of a sudden he shouted, "There's the guy who puked his margarita back into the glass!" Everyone stared. Yup, that was me, just last week. FML
by Noah / 08/16/2016 at 2:43pm / United States (Michigan) / Love
Today, my boyfriend came home from a trip early without telling me. When I got to his house and saw his car there, I texted him and said, "Oh you asshole". About five minutes later, I got a text from my boss asking if that text was for him. FML
by DuckyDew / 08/16/2016 at 1:51pm / United States (South Carolina) / Work
by Anonymous / 08/16/2016 at 1:34pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous
by hannax / 08/16/2016 at 1:26pm / United Kingdom (Southampton) / Health
by Anonymous / 08/16/2016 at 12:10pm / United States (Virginia) / Kids
Today, the laziest person in my department came and complained to me, while I was working, that they didn't know why we were so far behind today. Then they went to chat to their friend for 45 minutes. I know why. FML
Today, I went on a date. Met the guy at the restaurant, everything seemed to be going OK, but then he spent the entire dinner talking about Pokemon GO, and wouldn't let me say a word. He suddenly stops talking, gets up, says he, "doesn't feel a connection" and leaves. I had to pay the bill. FML
by ZombiKilla / 08/15/2016 at 10:46pm / United States (Alabama) / Love
by PeedMaPants / 08/15/2016 at 8:04pm / United Kingdom (Kent) / Work
Today, after changing and dressing my 6-month-old into his super cute brand new outfit, I saw the telltale sign of him about to vomit. Without thinking, I cup my hand under his mouth and catch it all. I had to sit there with a hand full of puke and nowhere to dump it. FML
by Felinefine / 08/15/2016 at 3:33pm / United Kingdom (Somerset) / Kids
Today, I worked from 8 to 7 without a break and I'm still not done with my assignment. Meanwhile, my co-worker crafted a piece of paper looking like a watermelon slice and posted a picture of herself seemingly taking a bite out of it. FML
Today, I found myself sneaking into my apartment to avoid the old lady that lives next to me. Funny enough, I moved into my own apartment because I was tired of sneaking into it to avoid my mom who lived with me. FML
by anonymous adult / 08/15/2016 at 1:00pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous