About PrimeStarscream : Megatron can go leap off a bridge.
Happy Ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Today, I heard noises outside my front door. I looked out through the window, only to see my boyfriend encouraging his dog to take a dump on my welcome mat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35826) - you deserved it (3928)
On 05/14/2013 at 3:52pm - love - by wellokaythen (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, after coming home from school, I found that two birds have made a nest above the porch light. This wouldn't be a problem if they stopped attacking me every time I get within 5 feet of them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31570) - you deserved it (2625)
On 05/14/2013 at 3:11pm - animals - by Locked Out - United States
Today, my doorknob broke. While trying to impress my dad and show that I can fix things for girls, I somehow managed to lock myself in my room, with the doorknob on the other side of the door. When my dad finally heard my screams, he let me out. He had to take the whole door off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29855) - you deserved it (16417)
On 05/14/2013 at 1:03pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I went to the dentist to get a tooth filled. The nurse just finished taking my info when the doctor came in and started drilling. Through my chorus of screams he realized he'd forgotten to numb me. His only response was, "Guess I forgot to numb ya, huh?" while giggling. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48850) - you deserved it (3290)
On 05/14/2013 at 8:03am - health - by toothache - United States (Illinois)
Today, I woke up to my dad emptying a water bottle on my head, because I needed to "get up for school" or I'd be late. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26214) - you deserved it (20185)
On 05/14/2013 at 7:13am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)
Today, I found out I'm actually the uncle of my children. All four of them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (78617) - you deserved it (4484)
On 05/14/2013 at 3:13am - kids - by Liferuinedforever (man) - Pakistan (Sindh)
Today, I learned if you type my full name in Google Images, the 3rd thing that comes up is a naked woman in ropes. Someone on Pornhub thought it was smart to comment that the girl looks just like me. She does. Now my parents think I'm a porn star, and most people at school stopped talking to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45066) - you deserved it (3113)
On 05/14/2013 at 12:15am - intimacy - by magomag (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, while doing a fun genetics game in Biology, I found out that I was adopted. Turns out the game wasn't so fun. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47071) - you deserved it (2377)
On 05/13/2013 at 7:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I discovered that the "dish soap" my sister uses to clean our dishes when it's her turn, is actually a semi-toxic floor cleaner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33135) - you deserved it (2021)
On 05/13/2013 at 7:05pm - misc - by emmingle - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I lost my patience and asked the deadbeat I loaned money to last year to please pay up. His response: "Blow me." No thanks, dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40369) - you deserved it (4508)
On 05/13/2013 at 5:17pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, a woman approached me in the street and slapped me, ranting about how I stole her man. I don't even know her man, or her, and I live over a thousand miles away in Scotland. I'm back in town for the first time since my childhood to attend a wedding. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41017) - you deserved it (2385)
On 05/13/2013 at 4:36pm - misc - by culodegrillo (woman) - Spain
Today, I was at the supermarket when an elderly lady asked if I'd grab some coffee for her from a high shelf. The moment I took my hands off my almost-full shopping cart, she made off with it. I ended up getting thrown out by security after she claimed I was trying to steal it from her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37174) - you deserved it (2445)
On 05/13/2013 at 3:49pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Swindon)
Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk, except it wasn't really a talk, but rather him making me watch a hardcore porn video with him as he commented on what the actors were doing. I had to listen to all this and ignore his obvious erection for almost an hour. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57839) - you deserved it (3554)
On 05/13/2013 at 3:10pm - intimacy - by more than I wanted to know (man) - Italy (Emilia-Romagna)
Today, I visited my grandparents at their farm. When I went to pee in the outhouse, I noticed a round thing in the middle of the hole, so I peed on it. It was a beehive. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36204) - you deserved it (17730)
On 05/13/2013 at 11:06am - animals - by random (man) - United States
Today, I'm so strapped for cash that I smuggled toilet paper out of my mother's house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32176) - you deserved it (5562)
On 05/13/2013 at 10:16am - money - by psychopumpkin - United Kingdom (Lincolnshire)
Monday 20 May 2013
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