About PrimeStarscream : Megatron can go leap off a bridge.
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PrimeStarscream's favorite FMLs
Today, I woke up suddenly with giant bugs biting my legs. I screamed, ripped the blanket off the bed and bolted to the bathroom to recover. Turns out it was all a dream, and the person who needed to recover most was my shell-shocked boyfriend who had been sleeping soundly beside me. Sorry, babe. FML
by sweetdreams / 09/18/2016 at 2:39am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by tracy4191 / 09/18/2016 at 1:21am / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous
Today, I wanted to take a nap after cleaning my apartment, so I put the trash outside the front door and put a note on the door for my roommate, saying, "Please take the trash out when you leave for work." When I woke up, the note was gone but the trash was still there. FML
by somnolence / 09/17/2016 at 5:20pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous
Today, it's been almost two weeks since any of my relatives have talked to me. They are still mad because I didn't go on a Labor Day trip with them and I've found out why. Apparently, they had plans for me to babysit my younger cousins any time they wanted to do something fun. FML
by adults acting like children / 09/17/2016 at 4:31pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids
Today, I ordered flowers to be delivered to my workplace on Tuesday. To myself. For my birthday. Because even though birthdays are posted in the monthly newsletter, mine gets left out every year. For the past four years. FML
by CouldBeALoser / 09/17/2016 at 2:26pm / United States (California) / Work
by bruh_im18 / 09/17/2016 at 12:18pm / United States (Louisiana) / Love
by mercumorr / 09/17/2016 at 8:27am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work
Today, I was at work and I needed to pee. In my haste, I forgot to lock the door. A coworker walked in on me and I bolted up mid-stream to slam the door back shut. I had pee down my leg and pee squishing in my shoes for the rest of the day. I can still remember his tone of voice, yelling, "Sorry"! FML
by Pisspants / 09/17/2016 at 12:39am / Canada (Alberta) / Work
by Aeare_ / 09/17/2016 at 12:15am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by ItnHmn / 09/16/2016 at 3:58pm / United States (Armed Forces Europe, Middle East) / Miscellaneous
Today, I took my wife to a country concert for her birthday, even though I can't stand country. While she had the time of her life, I was punched twice, had a beer dropped on me, and had a rather large, drunk woman fall on me. Happy birthday, baby. FML
by Senseless_487 / 09/16/2016 at 2:29pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by polkadotpinup / 09/16/2016 at 1:22pm / United States (Arizona) / Work
by bigbaby / 09/16/2016 at 3:06am / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was told I have narcolepsy, and I've it for a year and a half. When asked why I didn't go to a doctor before, I answered that I'd always assumed it was a normal adult thing to fall asleep randomly because of how everyone says they're always exhausted. Apparently not. FML
by littlekellilee / 09/16/2016 at 12:27am / Canada / Health