About PrimeStarscream : Megatron can go leap off a bridge.
PrimeStarscream's FML badges
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
PrimeStarscream's favorite FMLs
by N / 05/20/2016 at 4:22pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
Today, my soon-to-be mother-in-law decided that she is going to be in charge of planning my wedding. All decisions must be approved by her, and anything she doesn't like will be thrown out. She also wants to go on our honeymoon with us to make sure I don't "defile" her son. FML
by Anonymous / 05/20/2016 at 3:38pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, even though my boyfriend knew that I was a devout catholic before he asked me on a date, he's pissed that I keep refusing to have sex. Apparently, he thought I was just playing hard to get and that I would eventually drop my panties like all the other slutty "religious" girls he claims to have fucked. FML
by Bethany / 05/20/2016 at 3:31pm / Germany / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 05/20/2016 at 12:59pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, my dad told me to knock it off with my "stupid gangster walk", saying it made me look like an idiot. I didn't have the balls to admit I'd sharted my pants and was awkwardly waddling to the bathroom to clean myself up. FML
by Anonymous / 05/20/2016 at 12:05pm / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous
Today, after fishing for 5 hours, I finally caught a respectable-sized fish. I ran to my truck to grab the scale, and then I saw my friend laughing hysterically while holding an empty net. Apparently, the only catch of our day jumped out of the net during the 15 seconds I was gone. FML
by superfreak6 / 05/20/2016 at 9:25am / United States (Louisiana) / Animals
by ShandiPandiDerp / 05/20/2016 at 8:12am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 05/20/2016 at 7:29am / United States (New Jersey) / Health
Today, I needed the toilet in the night. Walking through my pitch black house barefoot, I felt something squish beneath my heel. Thinking it was a morsel of previously dropped food, I turned on the light to clean it up. My eyes met a twitching gecko body, with a flattened, exploded head. FML
by Kakapo4Ever / 05/20/2016 at 5:01am / United Kingdom (Oxfordshire) / Animals
by Anonymous / 05/20/2016 at 4:09am / United States (California) / Love
Today, I went on a date with a guy I've been talking to. We ended up at his house around 4 a.m., but as we walked through the front door, his ex girlfriend was sitting on the couch, apparently waiting for him to get home. They still live together. FML
by aireeahna / 05/20/2016 at 2:04am / United States (Iowa) / Love
by TicketMePink / 05/20/2016 at 1:57am / United States / Love
Today, I got a splinter in my shop class. The teacher dug at it with tweezers for a while, then told me that my best bet would be to wait until the wound got infected and formed a bunch of pus around the splinter to force it out. It's in my dominant hand's palm. FML
by pain / 05/20/2016 at 12:23am / United States (California) / Health
by No thanks / 05/19/2016 at 8:06pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by bruised / 05/19/2016 at 4:54pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Health
- Today, I thought it would be really hot to watch porn while my girlfriend and I were having sex. I… Today, after over a year of lifestyle changes and a ritualistic exercise regime, I finally reached… Today, I was in the car with a group of my girl friends discussing sexual experiences when I looked…