About PrimeStarscream : Megatron can go leap off a bridge.
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PrimeStarscream's favorite FMLs
Today, I discovered that when my doctor said my new medication "may cause sensitivity to sunlight" what he meant was "sit in total darkness during the day or your skin will feel like its burning off." FML
Today, my crush was giving a presentation in class. I zoned out and began staring off into space - which happened to be in the exact direction of his crotch. When I realized what I was doing, I quickly looked up at his face. He was already looking at me, with an expression of severe discomfort. FML
by perverted teenage girl / 11/29/2016 at 4:51pm / Miscellaneous
Today, the girl I've liked for over a year, broke up with me after just 2 weeks of dating, all because I'm a better pianist then her. I've been playing since I was 8. She's been playing for 6 months. FML
by betterpianist / 11/29/2016 at 4:04pm / United States / Love
Today, I discovered that my 17-year-old daughter received several weird deposits from Paypal. I checked her phone to discover that she had changed the password for the first time in years. Fearing drugs, I confronted her. She broke down and confessed to selling rare digital Pokemon on eBay. FML
Today, I've been working abroad. The holiday request I put in two months ago and that was verbally approved came back denied today as they can't find cover. I have already booked my flights, can't cancel them, and I get to spend Christmas alone. FML
by chessu / 11/29/2016 at 1:47pm / Work
Today, a door-to-door salesman came to my apartment. I was too lazy to change from my teddy bear print pajamas, fuzzy socks and pink slippers when opening the door to him. He took one look at me and asked, "Hello darling, are your mommy and daddy home?" I'm 22 and live here on my own. FML
by ginkobiloba / 11/29/2016 at 6:01am / Miscellaneous
by FMZiggy / 11/29/2016 at 5:14am / Netherlands / Health
Today, I learned that my boss is training one the the trainees I trained to be supervisor. Everyone supports this, including me. So what's the issue? I was promised that position almost 2 years ago. Apparently, I train people well enough to promote, but I'm not good enough to be promoted myself. FML
Today, I'm facing a disciplinary hearing at work because I occasionally fail to click the door properly shut when I leave the office and this is very upsetting to one of the six colleagues I share my office with. FML
Today, my roommates told me about all the stupid and embarrassing things I did last night, none of which I remember. Drunk out of my mind? No, I just tried a new sleeping pill after weeks of insomnia. I still barely slept. FML
by Sleepless Dreams / 11/28/2016 at 11:42pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health
Today, the police gave me a ticket for obstructing a loading bay as the vehicle "was not parked within the loading bay markings". I couldn't get the vehicle fully into the loading bay because there was a police vehicle in the way. FML
by Professor FacePalm / 11/28/2016 at 6:22pm / United Kingdom / Transportation
by dukemisery / 11/28/2016 at 7:23am / Hong Kong / Love
Today, I was talking to my mother when we both heard a continuous buzzing noise. Unable to locate the source of the noise we gave up. About an hour later, my mother yells down the stairs to me. Turns out my dog stole my vibrator, chewed it and presented it to my mother. FML
by NoFriends / 11/27/2016 at 9:28pm / Australia / Miscellaneous
by neverdatingagain / 11/27/2016 at 5:07pm / United States (Oregon) / Love
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, a week after dropping my car off for the third time in a month at the dealership because of…