About PrimeStarscream : Megatron can go leap off a bridge.
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PrimeStarscream's favorite FMLs
Today, I saw a cute guy at the coffee shop reading a book. Wanting to be friendly, I smiled as I approached and asked what he was reading. He returned the smile and said, "Minding your damn business, by Fuck Off." FML
by nevaagain / 08/19/2016 at 4:00pm / United States (Minnesota) / Love
by Scared4Lf / 08/19/2016 at 2:10pm / United States (North Dakota) / Intimacy
by Daddy / 08/19/2016 at 10:55am / United States (Florida) / Kids
by AlexB / 08/19/2016 at 3:01am / United Kingdom (Blackpool) / Health
Today, someone drove into my car at an intersection and drove off. Luckily, I got the car's registration plate and called the cops on them. Turns out, it was my boyfriend's brother's girlfriend, who was illegally driving without a license. Now everyone's mad at me for getting her in trouble. FML
by Innocent / 08/18/2016 at 7:03pm / New Zealand / Transportation
Today, while working at my job at a lumber/hardware store, my coworker told me he was taking an hour break instead of the usual half-hour. Not only did he leave me with a store packed with customers on Customer Appreciation Day, but he never came back until closing time. FML
Today, I was volunteering at a neighborhood house tutoring a bunch of kids. Everything was going fine until one of them jumped on the table I was at, which broke and hit my knee. I swore in front of all the kids and my volunteer coordinator. FML
by PlsForget / 08/18/2016 at 5:47pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Kids
Today, at work I did inventory with my boss. He did the top shelves and I did the bottom ones. By the end, my knees were dirty and sore. I went home and my roommate asked me how my day went. I absent-mindedly said, "My boss had me on my knees all day." He hasn't stopped laughing. FML
by inappropes / 08/18/2016 at 5:41pm / United States / Work
Today, while at a baseball game, I was telling my friends about my underaged drinking experience at my sister's bachelorette party. It wasn't until I was done telling the story that I realized the Dean of my college was right behind us, looking right at me. So much for a good first impression. FML
by fuckingcool / 08/18/2016 at 5:19pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
by sangoskywalker / 08/18/2016 at 5:12pm / Work
Today, while driving to a client's home, I received a text. Since I loathe those who text and drive, I pulled into a convenience store's parking lot. While I was texting, a car sped into the lot, rear-ending my car. FML
by Anonymous / 08/18/2016 at 4:44pm / United States (North Carolina) / Work
Today, I asked a girl what time she'd like me to pick her up for our date tonight. She didn't know what I was talking about. It seems like, after months of sweaty palms, nervous smiles, and awkward sentences, I only dreamed she said yes to going out. FML
by LoveStinks / 08/18/2016 at 6:56am / Love
by LifeAndLemons95 / 08/18/2016 at 4:23am / Denmark / Miscellaneous
Today, I almost got our office burned down by plugging the wrong charger into a laptop cooling fan. Tried to hide the incident and kept it casual but the smoke detector led it to my area and everyone knew I was the culprit. I'm a new hire too. FML
by funfettifirework / 08/18/2016 at 1:08am / Philippines (Quezon City) / Work
by notthesame / 08/18/2016 at 12:45am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous