About PrimeStarscream : Megatron can go leap off a bridge.
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PrimeStarscream's favorite FMLs
Today, in an effort to be fitter, I joined a Pilates class. Ten minutes into it, I dropped a 10-pound dumbbell on my face. I now have a horrific looking black eye, and half of my cheek is a mottled green color. Not to mention the cut above my eye that needed 4 stitches. FML
by Rowaelin16 / 09/22/2016 at 11:31pm / United States (Illinois) / Health
Today, I tried to have a relaxing soak in the tub. The giant wolf spider that was already in the tub didn't like me trying to set it free outside. It ran right across my feet and back into my house when I dumped it out of a cup outside. I screamed like a little girl. FML
by nopenopenopenope / 09/22/2016 at 11:28pm / United States (North Carolina) / Animals
Today, I was fired without warning from my job because I was not consulting my boss about things like washing dishes and throwing away garbage. Basically, I was fired for being too good at my job. FML
by Worky Workerton / 09/22/2016 at 1:14pm / United States (California) / Work
by Battlebarney / 09/22/2016 at 6:58am / United States (District of Columbia) / Health
by swee t / 09/21/2016 at 3:02pm / United States (North Carolina) / Money
by nekal / 09/21/2016 at 12:50pm / United States (Tennessee) / Love
Today, I visited my Aunt in hospital. Another patient got jealous, so she threw a tantrum. She threw things at us, pulled her drip out, threw herself to the floor, screamed, pounded the floor with her fists and pissed herself. My aunt is still waiting for a new room, and the staff blame me. FML
by ANON / 09/21/2016 at 10:09am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Health
Today, at my job of 2 months, I'd taken it upon myself to water the plants around the office every day since they all looked a little sad. My boss then asked why so many of the fake plants were getting mouldy. My co-workers had watched me water plastic plants for 2 months and nobody bothered to tell me. FML
Today, whilst in a dressing room trying on some new clothes, I experienced the sheer terror of having someone fling a pair of dirty panties over the stall wall only to make off with some stolen ones, whilst you're still standing there in shock staring at another woman's dirty underwear. FML
by grossed out / 09/21/2016 at 5:21am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
by JordLostItagain3 / 09/21/2016 at 3:17am / Australia (Victoria) / Money
Today, my fiancé, my two-year-old, and my dog are all sleeping peacefully next to me in our new king-sized memory foam bed. It's 2:15 in the morning. Why am I not sleeping? Because they all snore, one right after the other. It's like an endless song of snoring. FML
by Alyssa / 09/21/2016 at 3:17am / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous
by ang3l4 / 09/21/2016 at 1:28am / United States (California) / Animals
Today, I tried to jokingly hold the door shut so my friend, who I'd seen walking down the hall to our class, couldn't get in. It was funny, until my new teacher yelled "Open the damn door!" from the other side. FML
by anonymous / 09/20/2016 at 6:49pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
by American Idiot / 09/20/2016 at 3:25pm / United States (Georgia) / Love
by PleaseDontHateMe / 09/20/2016 at 12:42pm / Canada (Alberta) / Love