About PrimeStarscream : Megatron can go leap off a bridge.
PrimeStarscream's FML badges
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
PrimeStarscream's favorite FMLs
by lizim353 / 07/21/2016 at 11:40pm / United Kingdom (Fife) / Animals
Today, I spiced things up by lying on the bed and pouring melted white chocolate on myself. I called out to my fiancé to come in. He was 'checking' his favourite scene in Batman vs Superman and couldn't hear me. I was stuck unable to move for ten minutes until he finally heard me. FML
by Chocolaty / 07/21/2016 at 8:48pm / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy
Today, I went to the store to get groceries. After getting all the stuff I need, and was heading towards the checkout point, I heard a baby cry and instantly felt coldness on my shirt. Yes I was lactating, and yes it was noticeable. FML
by gamerlaura / 07/21/2016 at 6:09pm / United Kingdom (Gwynedd) / Health
by tiredmomma / 07/21/2016 at 5:30pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
by ENDmySUFFERING / 07/21/2016 at 11:25am / United Kingdom (Southampton) / Kids
Today, my kids overheard me talking about cleaning the fuel system in our RV before we go to Disney World. They were so eager to get there, they decided they'd clean the fuel system themselves while I was at work, namely by pouring Tide into the gas tank. FML
by DoubledTrouble / 07/21/2016 at 7:58am / United States (District of Columbia) / Kids
Today, my pregnant wife suggested we have fun tonight since we haven't had sex in 3 months. She also said we'll be having waffles and sausage. I'm actually more excited about the food than the sex. FML
by not even / 07/21/2016 at 7:20am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
Today, my new girlfriend took me on a double date with her, her best friend and her best friend's new girlfriend. Which would have been fine, if her best friend's girlfriend wasn't my recent ex. The small world of a lesbian. FML
by kvb81295 / 07/21/2016 at 4:17am / Love
Today, I thought my knee hurt because of over exercising in the gym. Then I remembered it was because I smacked it against my chair so hard I crumbled down and couldn't move for 5 minutes. And how I remembered? I did it again. FML
by rnw / 07/21/2016 at 1:34am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health
Today, I spent two hours trying to catch a urine sample whilst at urgent care due to my inability to pee in public restrooms. I finally managed one, and was so excited by my success that I fumbled it and spilled it on my pants. FML
by slaughterteddy / 07/20/2016 at 7:23pm / United States / Health
Today, after driving to three drug testing clinics that were approved for my job, each one declined me saying they dont do testing anymore. Now I have to drive another 25 miles to see if someone will say, "You're clean." FML
by GyroUpgraded / 07/20/2016 at 7:03pm / United States (Oregon) / Work
by Anonymous / 07/20/2016 at 6:28pm / United States (Ohio) / Health
by Anonymous / 07/20/2016 at 2:12pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/20/2016 at 1:20pm / United States / Kids
Today, at a job interview, my interviewer excused himself to use the bathroom, so I took the chance to let out a tiny fart I'd been holding in. That tiny fart filled the whole room. When he came back, the guy literally stopped dead in his tracks and recoiled at the stench. Doubt I'll get that job. FML
by Anonymous / 07/20/2016 at 11:08am / United States / Work