Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

PrimeStarscream

Offline (21 hours ago) | Search for a member

PrimeStarscream

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 29 January 1980 (35 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 56948
  • Number of comments : 255
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 21 posted

About PrimeStarscream : Megatron can go leap off a bridge.

PrimeStarscream's page activity

Visits<b>Emi1y</b> - 20 hours ago<b>HindiCraft</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 11:25pm<b>prettypanic</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 3:31pm<b>xdafuze</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 12:45am<b>saffy66</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 9:56am<b>teentee401</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 8:44am<b>seninaa</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 9:59am<b>justinkoch</b> - the 06/08/2015 at 9:19pm<b>kerripjones</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 7:38am<b>marcusterry</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 5:34am<b>snarkytruth</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 2:09pm<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 12:34pm<b>NDForever1</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 4:49pm<b>izkiz</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 4:03pm<b>clairesucks</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 12:43am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 12/24/2014 at 10:46am<b>facelick</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 8:43pm<b>bmmondi95</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 5:15pm

PrimeStarscream's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Picture this FML

You have left your mark on an illustrated FML’s presentation blog article.

Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of PrimeStarscream's badges

PrimeStarscream's favorite FMLs

Today, I asked my boss for a promotion. "You don't work here but I can give you a job application." I've been working here for 8 years. FML

#21448654
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22297) - you deserved it (1611)

On 07/28/2015 at 4:44pm - work - by Application - United States (Ohio)

Today, while in a hotel, I left the room to get some ice. Since my parents left the door wedged open, I didn't worry about trying to find the room number. Without thinking, I walked in to another room that was also wedged open. Yes, there were people in it, and yes, they were both naked and hairy. FML

#21448605
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18024) - you deserved it (7359)

On 07/28/2015 at 2:55pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, a revolving door got the better of me. I made it into the crowded lobby, unlike my skirt. Bad day to wear a thong. FML

#21448563
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23966) - you deserved it (2961)

On 07/28/2015 at 1:18pm - misc - by Oopsie - United States (Vermont)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me over the phone, after having left me to look after her dog while she went on a 2-week vacation with her family. Now I have to choose between paying for a kennel for her damn dog or taking care of it every day until she gets back. FML

#21448527
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21580) - you deserved it (1917)

On 07/28/2015 at 11:18am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, a customer bitched me out, saying he wouldn't eat his vegetarian dish because it didn't "look vegetarian enough." He then demanded a refund and a plate of the same vegetarian dish. FML

#21448499
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20224) - you deserved it (1181)

On 07/28/2015 at 9:14am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went to a garden party my friend had invited me to. I soon discovered they had seriously downplayed the formality of the event, as I noticed trays of fancy hors d'oeuvres and glasses of champagne lined up on the table. I showed up with Kool Aid and Ritz crackers. FML

#21448484
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22452) - you deserved it (3153)

On 07/28/2015 at 8:22am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Slough)

Today, after a 4 or 5 month-long dry spell, I woke up next to an amazing and beautiful woman. Neither of us were wearing pants. She looked me in the eyes and said, "Did I piss the bed?" FML

#21448401
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20734) - you deserved it (2408)

On 07/28/2015 at 2:44am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my step-sister told me that she was getting married to her girlfriend next summer. At a big family brunch, I made a toast to their marriage. I didn't know that my step-mom didn't know they were dating in the first place, or that she was severely homophobic. FML

#21448362
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24375) - you deserved it (3720)

On 07/28/2015 at 1:02am - misc - by anon - United States (Illinois)

Today, my brother was telling me about my "sweet" and "pure" ex-girlfriend. Three stab wounds have already proven otherwise. FML

#21448265
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20817) - you deserved it (1510)

On 07/27/2015 at 9:27pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, during a blowjob, my girlfriend decided to try something new by squeezing my balls as hard as she could as I came, for a "more intense orgasm". All she gave me was a ruptured testicle. FML

#21448216
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24303) - you deserved it (1948)

On 07/27/2015 at 8:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I realized the only reason my mom trusts me to stay home alone for long periods of time is because I don't have enough friends to throw a party. FML

#21448086
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23258) - you deserved it (2161)

On 07/27/2015 at 3:12pm - misc - by Not turnt - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because her dog "told her to". FML

#21448078
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22675) - you deserved it (2329)

On 07/27/2015 at 2:55pm - love - by Afroman720 (man) - United States

Today, I waited 45 minutes at the Apple Store for my grandpa to very loudly ask why PornHub wasn't loading on his computer. FML

#21448024
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24151) - you deserved it (1808)

On 07/27/2015 at 12:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, I found out my pregnant sister has been watching Teen Mom 2 to find out how to be a good parent. FML

#21447950
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25402) - you deserved it (1823)

On 07/27/2015 at 8:58am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got the last clean bowl out of the cupboard for a bowl of cereal. After I had finished, my family asked me if I had cleaned it first. It turns out that that specific bowl is apparently the dog's, and everyone just puts it back after feeding him. FML

#21447917
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23552) - you deserved it (4628)

On 07/27/2015 at 5:25am - misc - by NoOrdinaryNZer - New Zealand (Bay of Plenty)



FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie replies #1
  • Hello all you crybabies, from Land's End to John o' Groats. Yes, I'm finally here my lovelies. Since last week, my inbox hasn't stopped humming with the noise of new mail dropping into it, letters full…

Friday 31 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: