About PrimeStarscream : Megatron can go leap off a bridge.
Happy Ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Today, I berated my five-year-old nephew for peeing on the floor. His mom bitched me out for expecting "a little boy to have perfect aim." That's funny, it looked pretty good when he dropped his pants, looked me in the eyes, and started to piss on my rug. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29399) - you deserved it (1840)
On 05/20/2013 at 7:57am - kids - by AuntPeePee - United States
Today, I beat my extremely competitive friend in a game of pool. He responded by breaking a pool stick over my head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28532) - you deserved it (3712)
On 05/20/2013 at 2:32am - misc - by soreloser (man) - United States (Montana)
Today, my allergies started up with a vengeance. Yesterday I broke 4 ribs and fractured my sternum. Every time I sneeze, I swear I can feel the broken bones move around. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30123) - you deserved it (1752)
On 05/20/2013 at 1:44am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)
Today, I'm planning my big sister's wedding. My long-term, live-in boyfriend walked by and saw me looking at the wedding tab on Pinterest, smirked, and said, "Don't get your hopes up." I had. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32332) - you deserved it (4945)
On 05/20/2013 at 12:47am - love - by ForeverAlone (woman) - United States
Today, my parents posted on Facebook that they were excited that my sister was pregnant and couldn't wait to be grandparents. Last week I told them that I, a 33-year-old happily married woman, was pregnant and they told me I was ruining my life and encouraged me to have an abortion. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37456) - you deserved it (1881)
On 05/20/2013 at 12:31am - misc - by pregnant loser apparently (woman) - United States (West Virginia)
Today, I went for a walk. When it started pouring, I ran under the nearest tree for protection. It didn't occur to me that it might look suspicious hiding under a stranger's tree in a black hoodie, until the cops showed up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28139) - you deserved it (3942)
On 05/19/2013 at 7:07pm - misc - by black hoodie - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I got my nails, hair, and makeup professionally done for prom. My dad got his camera out, and I presumed he was taking pictures of my date and me. When I looked at the pictures later, they were all of the dog. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27091) - you deserved it (2591)
On 05/19/2013 at 6:33pm - animals - by rach (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, the extremely uncooperative client whom I'm trying to defend in court sent me a letter in which he threatened to sue me, because charging him for my services supposedly violates his "constipational rights". FML
I agree, your life sucks (35343) - you deserved it (2684)
On 05/19/2013 at 5:27pm - work - by harrington61 (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my brother broke his mountain bike, so he stole mine, and managed to break it as well. Then he made some kind of franken-bike out of parts from both, and messed that one up too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31137) - you deserved it (2519)
On 05/19/2013 at 3:56pm - misc - by jfc, how just how (man) - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)
Today, my wife gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. She's perfect in every way, except for her birth mark. It's under the corner of her left eye and looks almost exactly like a prison teardrop tattoo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36714) - you deserved it (5038)
On 05/19/2013 at 2:33pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my cockgoblin of an ex showed up at my house, begging me to take him back. This guy, with his friends' help, faked being kidnapped just so he could use the "trauma" to guilt me into sleeping with him after he "escaped". When he finally left, he yelled that I'm a selfish bitch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28832) - you deserved it (5931)
On 05/19/2013 at 2:02pm - love - by SariLone (woman) - India (Maharashtra)
Today, the couch I bought a week ago was delivered. I don't know which is worse: my son being the one to point out it's been "used", or that he used a black light to prove it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37553) - you deserved it (3294)
On 05/19/2013 at 3:35am - kids - by disappointed dad - United States
Today, I woke up and went into my living room, only to be greeted by my aunt, sister, and mother watching a very graphic video showing women giving birth. They forced me to stay and watch it until the end. It was almost 90 minutes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31038) - you deserved it (3839)
On 05/19/2013 at 2:30am - misc - by dafuqdidisee (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was roasting marshmallows around a campfire when mine burst into flames. I instinctively shook the stick to get it to go out. The flaming marshmallow then catapulted straight into my eye, burning my whole eyelid. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34928) - you deserved it (19707)
On 05/19/2013 at 1:26am - misc - by Devin - United States
Today, while at hospital with a broken arm, I was asked to raise my hand onto the x-ray machine. I told the nurse I couldn't move it without extreme pain. She told me to suck it up, picked up my arm, and dropped it on the machine. I could feel the bone completely separate. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46365) - you deserved it (2597)
On 05/18/2013 at 7:15pm - health - by mackmackey (man) - United States (Arizona)
Monday 20 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
