Preston97

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Offline (the 01/17/2015 at 5:56pm)

Preston97

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 257
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Preston97's page activity

Visits<b>CAMAR0kid93</b> - the 09/14/2013 at 2:59am<b>QuantumLife</b> - the 09/13/2013 at 9:54am

Preston97's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Preston97's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad took me to a bar for my first legal drink. He quickly got "drunk" and started slurring that I was an accident, saying the only reason I'm alive is because he'd been too poor to pay for an abortion. As I started crying, he burst out laughing and said soberly, "Just kidding, son." FML

by Anonymous / 03/21/2014 at 6:35pm / Australia / Kids

Today, I have Hello Kitty band-aids on my nips because I dozed off while tanning and burned them extra crispy. FML

by extra crispy or original recipe / 02/16/2014 at 5:23pm / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, my elderly neighbor along with our community church's priest came to my house and demanded to "give them the girl". The girl is my 3-year-old daughter, who has natural born red irises and is photo-sensitive. And yes, we are also Romanian. FML

by OakStake / 12/08/2013 at 5:07pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I was waiting in line with my boyfriend behind me. I decided to hold his hand and rub his chest while we waited. Then I heard a female voice behind me that said, "Ma'am, please don't touch me." FML

by cpmolly / 08/24/2013 at 11:18am / United States (Nebraska) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was teasing my 6-year-old sister about having a boyfriend. I asked her, "Did he take his shirt off?" She promptly said no. A few minutes later, she said, "But he did take his pants off." I then asked why. She said, "To show me his penis." FML

by joe / 06/23/2013 at 7:36pm / United States (Maryland) / Kids

Today, I asked my dad why there were no photos of me on the wall. He replied, "Every time you disappoint us we burn one." FML

by N / 05/07/2012 at 5:51am / United Kingdom (Glasgow City) / Miscellaneous