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About PremiumHeart : Just another ordinary guy :)
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Today, I woke up at my girlfriend's house. She was staring at me, holding a knife over my face. She ran away, giggling. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31527) - you deserved it (3035)
On 08/13/2011 at 2:37am - love - by bTOhno - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, two guys broke into my apartment to rob me at gunpoint. While I was wanking. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47757) - you deserved it (8176)
On 12/01/2010 at 12:11am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Louisiana)
Today, I was working on my family genealogy. I found out that my best friend's great-grandfather murdered my great-grandfather. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29109) - you deserved it (2490)
On 10/06/2010 at 12:32am - misc - by cantstoplaughing (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was watching tv with my grandpa, and he stops flipping channels on a movie with a hot naked chick getting oiled down. Suddenly the remote lands on my stomach as my mom and grandma walk in the door. They yelled at me for being a pervert for an hour, while my grandpa sat and chuckled. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27534) - you deserved it (2970)
On 09/24/2010 at 6:22am - misc - by Andrew - United States (Indiana)
Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (67409) - you deserved it (9582)
On 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (170845) - you deserved it (52072)
On 04/02/2009 at 1:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I forgot to do my French homework, but since it was an online worksheet, I told my teacher my internet wasn't working. I told her with an e-mail. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44497) - you deserved it (517618)
On 02/28/2009 at 2:07pm - misc - by ihavepinkbackpac (woman) - United States (California)
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