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Today, I was using a restroom when I heard someone sneeze. I said, "Bless you." It happened again about three times, so I repeated myself each time. I then noticed it was an automatic air freshener. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10870) - you deserved it (14257)
On 02/03/2012 at 12:25am - misc - by coleslaw (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I received numerous text messages from my parents asking where I was and how worried they are. I was in my room, they didn't even notice me walk in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20171) - you deserved it (1796)
On 01/08/2012 at 2:24am - misc - by musicislife1337 - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I was so lonely that I had a 3 hour conversation with a one-legged cricket I found in my room. I'm keeping him. He has a name. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23882) - you deserved it (7943)
On 11/03/2010 at 12:39am - misc - by nk (woman) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I lost my phone. I tried to call it using my husband's phone, but couldn't figure out which of the three Kates in the contact list was me. Turns out, two are co-workers and one is his aunt. I was listed under Satan. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31245) - you deserved it (6273)
On 03/15/2010 at 7:22pm - love - by Satan (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, the pictures from last night's party were put on Facebook. The pictures that show me getting in a drunken fight with a girl and her putting my face through the wall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4174) - you deserved it (21481)
On 02/20/2010 at 12:29pm - misc - by creamed (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I had to pretend to give birth in a play. I wanted to make it a realistic as possible but ended up crapping myself on stage by accident. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44334) - you deserved it (19817)
On 10/11/2009 at 11:42am - misc - by oxjessiiox (woman) - United Kingdom (Leicestershire)
Today, I was feeling sick and I farted so loud in the school's girls bathroom. Some boys overheard from the hall and called everyone over. I came out only to find about 20 guys staring anxiously at the bathroom's door to see who I was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38825) - you deserved it (4447)
On 08/28/2009 at 2:30pm - health - by minnie (woman) - United States
Today, I was walking in the mountains when I tripped, I grabbed onto the fence in an attempt to soften my fall. The fence was electric. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43371) - you deserved it (2921)
On 08/01/2009 at 12:49pm - misc - by Electronotfriend (woman) - Poland (Pomorskie)
Today, my two year old daughter did not want to leave the toy store, when I picked her up she started screaming at the top of her lungs, "YOU'RE NOT MY DADDY!". FML
I agree, your life sucks (44594) - you deserved it (2173)
On 07/30/2009 at 7:34am - kids - by Herdad (man) - United States (Virginia) - moderated by the Jackass crew
Today, my boyfriend was teaching me to drive, and told me he agreed with the stereotype that women are worse drivers than men. I argued with him so heatedly about how it was just like a man to say something like that, that I drove through our garage doors because I wasn't paying attention. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7243) - you deserved it (43828)
On 07/17/2009 at 5:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was going to check out my secret condom stash. When I looked inside, I found a note. The note read: "Thanks hun, I really needed this. Love, Mom". FML
I agree, your life sucks (40857) - you deserved it (5327)
On 07/17/2009 at 11:54am - misc - by lawliet_L (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I was driving on the motorway when a cop car made me stop. It was a routine check and when they said "Have you been drinking?" of course I said no. To that, my 6 year old sitting in the back screamed "Yes she did! She's lying I saw her drink!" I had drunk a milkshake. FML
I agree, your life sucks (77255) - you deserved it (3977)
On 06/04/2009 at 8:17am - kids - by Kimmiko (woman) - Germany (Niedersachsen)
Today, I was at the waterpark. I decided to go down a slide shaped like a funnel. On the way down, my bikini bottom untied. Then I got lodged in a V shape, arse first, in the hole at the funnel exit, exposing myself to the entire pool until I could slither out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43292) - you deserved it (5674)
On 06/03/2009 at 10:14pm - misc - by canadiankc (man) - United Kingdom (Sheffield)
Today, I went to the doctor because my arm hurt. When he told me I had tennis elbow I said "that's funny I don't play tennis". Then he asked me if I had a girlfriend. When I said no he said "Well I guess we solved this one." FML
I agree, your life sucks (57539) - you deserved it (12315)
On 04/04/2009 at 12:34am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)
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