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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, a friend offered to have sex with me, since I'm a 19 year old virgin who's only been kissed. He then added on that I would have to give him my Wii in return. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38839) - you deserved it (4883)
On 07/30/2009 at 11:52am - intimacy - by VelocityMary (woman) - United States - moderated by the Jackass crew
Today, I told my therapist that I suspected my partner was unfaithful, but I don't think he believed me. "What, did you find a membership card to a sex club in his wallet or something?" he asked. When I got home, I looked in my partner's wallet. I found a membership card to a sex club. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39542) - you deserved it (3059)
On 07/30/2009 at 11:21am - intimacy - by thesockmancometh (man) - United States (Texas) - moderated by the Jackass crew
Today, my friends had ditched me for a party I hadn't been invited to so I was sitting home alone. The only other thing in my house was the mosquito I nicknamed Fred. I liked to watch Fred fly around and try to suck my blood. 20 minutes later, I found Fred's dead body. I was actually sad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49651) - you deserved it (13468)
On 07/30/2009 at 10:43am - animals - by dumbo (man) - United States (Virginia) - moderated by the Jackass crew
Today, I was downtown with my boyfriend around Noon when we walked past a few guys who shouted out to me "You're the most beautiful girl we've seen all day". My boyfriend's response was "It's still early." FML
I agree, your life sucks (40679) - you deserved it (3401)
On 07/30/2009 at 8:32am - misc - by epicc1584 - United States (Maryland) - moderated by the Jackass crew
Today, my mom came into my room to have a heart to heart talk. My dildo was sitting on the nightstand. I didn't notice until she told me to make sure the dog didn't get it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9440) - you deserved it (36848)
On 07/30/2009 at 8:02am - intimacy - by BrokenVow (woman) - Canada (British Columbia) - moderated by the Jackass crew
Today, my two year old daughter did not want to leave the toy store, when I picked her up she started screaming at the top of her lungs, "YOU'RE NOT MY DADDY!". FML
I agree, your life sucks (46102) - you deserved it (2299)
On 07/30/2009 at 7:34am - kids - by Herdad (man) - United States (Virginia) - moderated by the Jackass crew
Today, me and my girls went to get revenge on a girl who slept with my boyfriend by egging her house. Her house was too far away so we decided to get her truck. We wasted a carton of eggs on her driveway because we all have terrible aim and look incredibly stupid for missing so bad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4863) - you deserved it (42629)
On 07/30/2009 at 6:01am - misc - by bit - United States (Florida) - moderated by the Jackass crew
Today, I was at the mall and someone peeked their head under the door of my dressing room while I was half dressed. Not knowing who it was, I kicked him in the face just out of instinct. Its was a 4 year old kid looking for his mother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44609) - you deserved it (16110)
On 07/29/2009 at 4:26pm - misc - by 4yrldkicker (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my wife told me she wanted a divorce. She also confessed that she has been cheating on me with my best friend for 10 years. I appreciated the honesty, but was slightly upset considering we have only been married for 9 years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47711) - you deserved it (2057)
On 07/29/2009 at 4:23pm - work - by allocomrade (man) - United States (New York)
Today, my boyfriend told me he was going out tonight to celebrate his ex-but-still-friends-girlfriend's birthday at a local club and hopes I wasn't offended that I wasn't invited. I sure am offended; we have the same birthday. FML
I agree, your life sucks (64659) - you deserved it (2520)
On 07/29/2009 at 3:32pm - love - by imscrewed (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my wife found out my son masturbated and wanted to send him to counseling. Thinking she was overreacting, I told her I masturbated when I was a teen so he should turn out like me. She began sobbing uncontrollably. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54220) - you deserved it (5890)
On 07/29/2009 at 12:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)
Today, I bought my wife a dog because she wants something to care for. After handing holding it and it loving me for a few hours, I gave it to my wife when she got home. Two seconds later, it barked at me and tried to bite me. Now I have two moody women in the house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32809) - you deserved it (6295)
On 07/29/2009 at 12:45pm - love - by Red (man) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I was at work doing phone computer support helping a woman with her computer. I asked her to close all her open windows. She deleted all the important company documents in the open folder instead. I got fired because "close windows" and "delete" have become "too technical" for users. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44883) - you deserved it (1646)
On 07/29/2009 at 12:34pm - work - by pixelbaker (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, my boyfriend of a year told me he is at the point in his life where he is ready to start a family, get married and have a baby. He also casually stated that he wished he could meet someone he could see himself settling down with. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38966) - you deserved it (2761)
On 07/29/2009 at 11:18am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I went to buy lunch at a grocery store. The total was 3 pounds, and my card got rejected for insufficient funds. I fished about for change, and found I only had 2 pounds. A homeless man behind me in the queue then offered to give me the remaining pound. A homeless man paid my lunch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34622) - you deserved it (10963)
On 07/29/2009 at 10:24am - money - by faentalivetmitt (woman) - Norway (Oslo)
Monday 20 May 2013
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