About Pollito1718 : I'm a boy
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Pollito1718's favorite FMLs
Today, I made a speech in front of my entire graduating class and their families, despite my fear of public speaking. It seemed to go well and I got a big round of applause at the end. Then I panicked and instead of waving, I lifted my arm straight out in a Hitler salute. FML
by oooooops / 03/22/2015 at 8:32pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by pikachu_43 / 03/21/2015 at 11:14am / United States (California) / Health
Today, I was wearing a new tank top that was really cute. I later was talking to an attractive guy and thought he was giggling at me because he thought I was being cute and funny. I then realized he was giggling at the fact that I only shaved one armpit. FML
by rayraydayday / 03/21/2015 at 12:25am / United States (Colorado) / Love
Today, I had to take a dump at work. I walked into the bathroom and opened a stall, only to find what I can only describe as a fecal crime scene. It was like a turd had exploded mid-air. It was so vile, my anxiety kicked in and I broke down into a sobbing panic attack. FML
by Anonymous / 03/20/2015 at 12:56pm / United Kingdom (Glasgow City) / Work
by TooShortToCleanThat / 03/19/2015 at 11:22pm / United States / Love
Today, when I dropped my 6-year-old daughter off at school, a little boy ran up to her so I asked his name. My daughter explained: "Oh, don't pay any attention to him, he's my slave. He's come to carry my bag. See you later, mom!" FML
by mafille / 03/18/2015 at 11:22pm / France / Kids
by brokeforever / 03/18/2015 at 6:23pm / Latvia (Riga) / Animals
by Anonymous / 03/18/2015 at 5:44am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Miscellaneous
Today, I baked a cake for when my mum came home. I did everything I needed to do and put it in the oven, set the timer and went to do some things around the house. When my mum came home, she asked why there was a uncooked cake mix sitting in the oven. I forgot to turn the oven on. FML
by non-baker / 03/17/2015 at 10:12pm / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
Today, I accidentally ate a cat treat instead of a cinnamon glazed pecan. I thought it must have been burnt by the way it tasted, so ate a few more before I figured out my mistake and spat them out. FML
by ilovecharliesheen / 03/17/2015 at 3:14am / United States (Arizona) / Animals
Today, my boss insisted I go in front of him up the stairs. Out of respect, I insisted he go first. After a few seconds of back and forth insisting, he went. The reason he wanted me to go first was because he had to fart. I inhaled the raunchy gas for over three flights of stairs. FML
by Boss Troubles / 03/17/2015 at 2:12am / United States (California) / Work
by epicvixen / 03/15/2015 at 5:12pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I ate an apple. My sister then walks in dressed as a witch, and asks, "Have you seen my poisoned apple?" She was playing at Snow White, and the apple had been dipped in the toilet, the cat's food bowl and the garbage can. FML
by dorianseiji / 03/11/2015 at 4:37pm / France (Picardie) / Kids
by birdisnottheword / 03/11/2015 at 9:55am / Canada (Alberta) / Kids
Today, feeling in need of a self-esteem boost, I took what I thought was a good selfie and I put it on Facebook. Out of 500 friends, the only response I got was a picture of Saddam Hussein with the caption, "This is why I bomb people." FML
by why they bomb / 03/09/2015 at 2:01am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his…