I am awesome.
Today, I went on a date, and within the first five minutes, he said, "Before we go any further and get anymore serious, you need to know a few things, I have kissed a guy drunk because it was a dare, and have a $400 silk rose Victoria's Secret blanket." FML
I agree, your life sucks (15763) - you totally deserved it (2840)
On 11/02/2009 at 10:41pm - misc - by Shawty (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I realized that the drunk-me deletes my texts, so the sober-me doesn't get mad. Well turns out, whatever the drunk-me said, caused me to lose my job, my girlfriend, and my coffee machine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6779) - you totally deserved it (26521)
On 11/01/2009 at 11:35am - misc - by Joe (man) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I called the number a guy had given me at a bar last night. I got the Soulja Boy Hotline. Now every few hours I get messages on my phone like 'Good morning! Jump on up and get yo swag on, this is Soulja Boy!' and I can't seem to get it to stop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36218) - you totally deserved it (4816)
On 05/31/2009 at 10:05pm - love - by rain (man) - United States (West Virginia)
Today, my girlfriend and I had sex for the first time. When I was on top of her, she asked me if it was in yet. I said yes. She sighed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (101238) - you totally deserved it (15335)
On 02/17/2009 at 6:00pm - intimacy - by ramenluver (man) - United States (California)
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