Poky

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Offline (the 01/17/2015 at 11:07pm)

Poky

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 13101
  • Number of comments : 29
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Poky's page activity

Visits<b>ThatFuxkingGirl</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 9:41pm<b>akachikibaba</b> - the 01/17/2015 at 7:05pm<b>donkeytowel</b> - the 11/08/2013 at 12:22pm<b>JackDaddy13</b> - the 10/19/2013 at 10:35am<b>Vic888</b> - the 04/23/2013 at 9:40pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:20pm<b>depinaariana</b> - the 10/10/2009 at 12:44pm<b>Hypershadow</b> - the 09/12/2009 at 4:28pm<b>miltonbradley</b> - the 05/11/2009 at 2:26pm<b>kell710</b> - the 05/08/2009 at 12:15pm<b>nafur15</b> - the 05/04/2009 at 4:05pm<b>tripnip</b> - the 04/22/2009 at 5:00pm<b>Grffin</b> - the 04/13/2009 at 8:19pm<b>greenman</b> - the 03/11/2009 at 2:31pm<b>easrc</b> - the 03/03/2009 at 8:30am

Poky's FML badges

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Poky's favorite FMLs

Today, I was holding hands with my daughter and she wanted to skip. When I went to skip I accidentally kneed her in the face. Everyone saw her holding her busted lip and pointing at me. FML

by jazz / 01/22/2010 at 3:11am / Kids

Today, I got an email from the company that manages my cat's microchip informing me that I had to update my information that had been entered by the local Humane Society. Apparently, they listed my cat "Coral" as the owner, and me as the pet. To change it, they needed the cat's signature. FML

by APetsPet / 10/05/2009 at 3:23pm / United States (Florida) / Animals

Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2009 at 1:13am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, I was feeling sick and having trouble breathing easily. I decided to take a nap and apparently ended up sleeping with my mouth wide open since breathing was an issue. I woke up to my boyfriend trying to put his penis in my mouth. FML

by coughandcold / 03/26/2009 at 9:45pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was fooling around with my girlfriend for the first time. She put her hand on my penis over my jeans and said "Get hard for me." I was hard. FML

by illequipt / 03/15/2009 at 11:20pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, at the dentist, I was getting my teeth cleaned. Looking up at his nose, I saw runny snot dripping onto his lip. I tried to slowly move away. He told me "Stop!" The movement of his lips caused the snot to fall right into my mouth. FML

by Noname / 03/05/2009 at 2:44pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Health

Today, I was singing Alicia Keys in the shower and hitting the insanely high notes. My father ran into the bathroom and threw open the shower door, screaming. He thought I was wailing in pain. FML

by legit / 03/02/2009 at 12:22am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to get a condom because my boyfriend and I were going to have sex for the first time. When I opened the drawer, I saw that every single condom had a Jesus pin stabbed through it, and a note on top of the box: "love mom." FML

by Noname / 02/24/2009 at 8:20pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, at the urinal a guy came up next to me to do his business. He stared over at me, looked down, laughed and then left. FML

by toosmall / 01/31/2009 at 4:40pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I sneezed so hard I herniated my back. After passing out from the pain I awoke on the floor covered in my own shit and piss. Unable to move, I had to wait in this state for four hours for my wife to return home from work, clean me up and take me to the hospital. FML

by Noname / 01/26/2009 at 7:02pm / Japan (Fukuoka) / Health

Today, my boss sneezed onto his hands and then licked them in front of my best customers. FML

by 911 / 11/12/2008 at 10:57pm / Work