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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Poke_Her_Face

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Poke_Her_Face
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 202
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Today, I lost my phone. I tried to call it using my husband's phone, but couldn't figure out which of the three Kates in the contact list was me. Turns out, two are co-workers and one is his aunt. I was listed under Satan. FML

#9110965 (245)

I agree, your life sucks (30844) - you deserved it (6135)

On 03/15/2010 at 7:22pm - love - by Satan (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my Dad told me that I was named after the dog he accidentally shot in the head as a teenager. FML

#9081770 (131)

I agree, your life sucks (20226) - you deserved it (1279)

On 03/14/2010 at 7:23pm - animals - by OhhhNooo (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was driving back home after hanging out with some friends. I drove pass a woman standing next to a broken down car. I felt bad, so went back and offered her a ride home. Turns out it wasn't her car and she was a hooker. FML

#8939744 (115)

I agree, your life sucks (14531) - you deserved it (2931)

On 03/09/2010 at 2:47am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I found out how mature the guy I'm seeing is. After sex, he took the condom off and hit me in the face with it. FML

#8889344 (212)

I agree, your life sucks (19557) - you deserved it (4174)

On 03/07/2010 at 9:08am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I locked my keys in my car. I was late for work so I went to smash the side window with a big rock. The rock bounced off the window and into my face. FML

#8706906 (156)

I agree, your life sucks (6425) - you deserved it (19066)

On 02/28/2010 at 12:36am - work - by chevysprint (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, a picture fell off of the wall in the middle of the night. It hit me smack bang in the middle of face. FML

#8403549 (139)

I agree, your life sucks (14657) - you deserved it (2249)

On 02/18/2010 at 9:22am - health - by Hayleey_079 (woman) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me, saying I was immature for making gay jokes all the time. A few hours later, I got six texts and three calls from guys I didn't know. It turns out, she put my name and number on Craigslist as a gay man seeking a relationship. FML

#8013875 (192)

I agree, your life sucks (7664) - you deserved it (32386)

On 02/08/2010 at 3:21pm - love - by christian9294 - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was vacuuming our house because I wanted to help my parents. I wore a headset while listening to REALLY loud music. The vacuuming job took me two hours and when I took of my headset I noticed that I hadn't started the vacuum cleaner. FML

#7415658 (208)

I agree, your life sucks (6251) - you deserved it (41129)

On 01/18/2010 at 6:01am - misc - by Adrian16 (man) - Norway (Vestfold)

Today, my friends thought it would be funny to try and break a watermelon on my head while I was asleep on the couch. FML

#7334131 (105)

I agree, your life sucks (21834) - you deserved it (2384)

On 01/14/2010 at 3:46am - misc - by melonhead (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I ran over a cat while driving home. I tried to keep myself together but couldn't help but cry because of how bad I felt. Through my tears I failed to notice a porcupine in the middle of the road. Yep, I hit him too. FML

#4618349 (266)

I agree, your life sucks (40581) - you deserved it (11981)

On 08/18/2009 at 1:02am - animals - by anugla (woman) - United States (New York)