About PokeMyZelda : Don't mind me, I'm just sitting here reading about everyone else's lives.
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PokeMyZelda's favorite FMLs
by mustabeendrugs / 10/13/2013 at 9:14pm / United States (Arizona) / Work
Today, in revenge for me pulling the old salt-in-the-soda prank on him, my dad showed up at my college dressed in a tight blouse and miniskirt, demanding that I come home early with him. I think I'm going to be lynched next time I go to class. FML
by HSampsON / 10/13/2013 at 5:20pm / Niger (Niamey) / Miscellaneous
by Cereal_mistress / 10/07/2013 at 2:54pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, my husband yelled from upstairs, "Babe! BABE, COME QUICK!" Terrified that something might have happened to our newborn daughter, I rushed up, only to find out he just wanted to show me that he'd learned how to spin a top on the tip of his penis without it falling. FML
by -____- / 10/05/2013 at 5:28pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
by -___- / 09/29/2013 at 3:46pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 09/27/2013 at 4:33pm / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, while sitting in a crowded waiting room at the doctor's office, my 5-year-old daughter pointed at my 6-year-old son's crotch and boomed, "MOM, WHY DOES ANDY HAVE A FINGER DOWN THERE?" to which he yelled, "IT'S CALLED A COCK!" FML
by SerenityJ / 09/27/2013 at 4:00pm / United States (California) / Kids
by Anonymous / 09/26/2013 at 12:19pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/25/2013 at 5:33pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy
Today, I decided to be friendly and say hi to the weird kid at school, who was sitting by himself eating lunch. After I said hello, he stared up at me intensely and said, "I don't have many friends. Yeah. Mainly 'cause I've eaten most of them." FML
by scared shitless in ohio / 09/25/2013 at 4:02pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by chinaski7628 / 09/24/2013 at 6:00pm / United States (California) / Work
by cuntsmom / 09/24/2013 at 12:47am / United States / Kids
by friend loves a gay guy... / 09/23/2013 at 4:49pm / United States (Ohio) / Love
by Anonymous / 09/23/2013 at 2:15am / United States (California) / Work
by soannoyed / 09/22/2013 at 5:21pm / United States / Kids
- 1Today, I found out my parents have been slipping birth control pills into my morning orange juice… 2Today, I found out my husband has been catfishing my sixteen year-old brother for over a year. FML 3Today, I babysat a kid who was such a bratty little prick that I actually considered walking out on…