PokeMyZelda

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PokeMyZelda

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 312
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About PokeMyZelda : Don't mind me, I'm just sitting here reading about everyone else's lives.

PokeMyZelda's page activity

Visits<b>Sweet_Meli</b> - the 09/06/2013 at 10:16pm<b>Crash7777</b> - the 08/21/2013 at 10:00am<b>Brock_Dudeson</b> - the 08/19/2013 at 5:40pm<b>da_kel95</b> - the 07/31/2013 at 11:00am<b>BrianaKoala</b> - the 07/31/2013 at 10:31am

PokeMyZelda's FML badges

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It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

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PokeMyZelda's favorite FMLs

Today, my students all handed in their 1,000 word papers. The assignment was for them to write about a strong, benevolent leader who influenced the world. Around half of the papers were about Hitler. FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2014 at 7:30am / Australia (Victoria) / Work

Today, I went on a trip to Cleveland. After getting lunch, my brother and I started walking back to my car. Halfway there, we were jumped, threatened with a knife, and yelled at to hand over our money. The only thing my brother could do was ask our mugger, "Uh, what gender are you?" FML

by Anonymous / 03/28/2014 at 10:00pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I wanted to try seducing my boyfriend by having nothing but a t-shirt on for when he'd get back from work. He came home, saw me, apologized bashfully for failing to knock first, and went back outside. FML

by oops / 03/27/2014 at 7:10pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I realized how sad my life is when for my 18th birthday, I went to a strip club, by myself, in GTA V. FML

by BMTH2296 / 03/21/2014 at 7:42pm / United States / Geek

Today, I have exactly 204 snowflakes saved onto my computer, all of which I made on this snowflake-making website. This is what my life has come to. FML

by ealovan / 03/03/2014 at 12:18am / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous

Today, while having a sneak through my brother's browser, I found a bookmark for a Google Docs file. It was a short story involving him horrifically killing our entire family. It ended with the words: "And that is what happens when people don't respect the author's privacy." FML

by well SHIT / 02/27/2014 at 4:46pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, trying to be a responsible parent, I bought my daughter a pack of condoms in case she ever decided to have sex. She turned them into balloon animals and went back to playing video games. FML

by Anonymous / 02/13/2014 at 10:47am / United States (Missouri) / Kids

Today, the boy who sits next to me in class accidentally dropped his sketch pad. It turns out he's really talented at drawing portraits. They're so good that I could recognize myself in all of them. FML

by Anonymous / 02/12/2014 at 8:12pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. My hand-eye coordination went straight to hell and I managed to accidentally smack my nose into his penis. He told all his friends about it, and I'm apparently now known as Woodpecker. FML

by Anonymous / 02/08/2014 at 1:49pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was sitting on the couch, watching The Avengers with my 4-year-old daughter, who loves the Hulk. When Hulk finally showed up, she excitedly looked at me and screamed, "Hulk Smash" before slamming both of her fists into my balls. FML

by Anonymous / 01/30/2014 at 7:34am / United States / Kids

Today, I was asked to go to a ball by the guy I like. The theme is masquerade. He made me a Robin mask; he's wearing a Batman mask. FML

by Unfortunately Me / 01/08/2014 at 7:54pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, my dog found out how to turn my Xbox off. So whenever he wants attention, guess what he does. FML

by Z3R0G5 / 01/06/2014 at 6:00pm / United States (Indiana) / Animals

Today, I met my girlfriend's father for the first time. The first thing he did was show me a bullet, then he basically said that if I don't submit to his daughter's every whim, that bullet will end my life. FML

by thisisavirus.exe / 12/31/2013 at 3:57pm / United States (Oregon) / Love

Today, I was watching ESPN. My boyfriend came in, bitched about "boring tv," so I handed him the remote. He put on a Lifetime movie. I must be the only woman in America with this problem. FML

by smokecloud_ / 12/30/2013 at 4:38pm / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, Christmas changed my life. Last year I had a boyfriend to cuddle with on Christmas; this year I have a body pillow of an anime character. FML

by lonely otaku / 12/25/2013 at 2:46am / Canada (British Columbia) / Love