About PokeMyZelda : Don't mind me, I'm just sitting here reading about everyone else's lives.
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PokeMyZelda's favorite FMLs
Today, my students all handed in their 1,000 word papers. The assignment was for them to write about a strong, benevolent leader who influenced the world. Around half of the papers were about Hitler. FML
by Anonymous / 04/02/2014 at 7:30am / Australia (Victoria) / Work
Today, I went on a trip to Cleveland. After getting lunch, my brother and I started walking back to my car. Halfway there, we were jumped, threatened with a knife, and yelled at to hand over our money. The only thing my brother could do was ask our mugger, "Uh, what gender are you?" FML
by Anonymous / 03/28/2014 at 10:00pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, I wanted to try seducing my boyfriend by having nothing but a t-shirt on for when he'd get back from work. He came home, saw me, apologized bashfully for failing to knock first, and went back outside. FML
by oops / 03/27/2014 at 7:10pm / United States (California) / Love
by BMTH2296 / 03/21/2014 at 7:42pm / United States / Geek
by ealovan / 03/03/2014 at 12:18am / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous
Today, while having a sneak through my brother's browser, I found a bookmark for a Google Docs file. It was a short story involving him horrifically killing our entire family. It ended with the words: "And that is what happens when people don't respect the author's privacy." FML
by well SHIT / 02/27/2014 at 4:46pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/13/2014 at 10:47am / United States (Missouri) / Kids
Today, the boy who sits next to me in class accidentally dropped his sketch pad. It turns out he's really talented at drawing portraits. They're so good that I could recognize myself in all of them. FML
by Anonymous / 02/12/2014 at 8:12pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. My hand-eye coordination went straight to hell and I managed to accidentally smack my nose into his penis. He told all his friends about it, and I'm apparently now known as Woodpecker. FML
by Anonymous / 02/08/2014 at 1:49pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I was sitting on the couch, watching The Avengers with my 4-year-old daughter, who loves the Hulk. When Hulk finally showed up, she excitedly looked at me and screamed, "Hulk Smash" before slamming both of her fists into my balls. FML
by Anonymous / 01/30/2014 at 7:34am / United States / Kids
by Unfortunately Me / 01/08/2014 at 7:54pm / United States (California) / Love
by Z3R0G5 / 01/06/2014 at 6:00pm / United States (Indiana) / Animals
Today, I met my girlfriend's father for the first time. The first thing he did was show me a bullet, then he basically said that if I don't submit to his daughter's every whim, that bullet will end my life. FML
by thisisavirus.exe / 12/31/2013 at 3:57pm / United States (Oregon) / Love
by smokecloud_ / 12/30/2013 at 4:38pm / United States (Ohio) / Love
by lonely otaku / 12/25/2013 at 2:46am / Canada (British Columbia) / Love
- Today, I found out my older brother put tanning lotion in the lotion I use to masturbate with. Now… Today, my girlfriend's family came over and I thought it would be fun to watch old family videos of… Today, my hard drive on my computer crashed with all of my files on it. I took it to my Dad, who is…