Pokarts

Search for a member

Offline (the 02/15/2015 at 5:20pm)

Pokarts

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 904
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

Pokarts's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

Pokarts's favorite FMLs

Today, I got mugged. As the guys who took my purse were about to walk away, my cellphone rang in my pocket. FML

by alo1434 / 06/23/2011 at 4:54am / United States (Illinois) / Money

Today, I stayed at my boyfriend's house after mine was broken into. The robber took my laptop, jewellery, and tons of clothes. When I walked into his house, I was greeted by his brother, wearing one of my stolen shirts. FML

by Danielle / 06/06/2011 at 3:00pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, the girl I have a crush on came over to work on a project. My dad rushed into the room we were in, farted, and then ran out giggling. FML

by longlostkid556 / 06/05/2011 at 12:14am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I learned that if I don't give my mom attention immediately after she calls my name, she will throw a baseball at me. FML

by wooowmom / 06/04/2011 at 9:10pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, after being chronically constipated for the better part of a week, I finally have the urge to poop. Too bad I'm 30 minutes early to work and locked out of the building. FML

by missbutthole / 06/04/2011 at 9:07am / United States (New York) / Health

Today, my dad came round to the house. Looking rather pleased with himself he pulled out his phone, grinned, and chucked it over to me. I glanced at the screen to see a naked woman. He smiled and said "I tapped that last night". FML

by peaaaak / 06/03/2011 at 6:17am / United Kingdom (Thurrock) / Intimacy

Today, I received a phone call from my old boss asking me why I wasn't at work, to which I responded, "Because you fired me yesterday". He didn't say anything, and hung up. FML

by xmeatballx21 / 06/03/2011 at 5:57am / United States (South Dakota) / Work

Today, I saw a woman run down my street screaming, "Fuck you cops! I can drive under the influence if I want to!" It took me a second to realize it was my mother. FML

by Anonymous / 06/02/2011 at 9:07pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I finally convinced my girlfriend to let me give her a foot massage after she had a long day at work. Halfway through, she fell asleep. Wanting to see how ticklish she actually was, I started to tickle her feet. She then kicked me straight in the nuts whilst sleeping. FML

Today, I ate some hardboiled eggs for breakfast, not knowing they were practically rotten. My whole day has consisted of vomit-inducing sulfuric farts and diarrhea. FML

by Anonymous / 05/18/2011 at 3:26am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I drove the width of the country to tell the girl I've lost that I'm in love with her. She wasn't home. FML

by unrequited / 05/17/2011 at 10:36pm / United States / Love

Today, I won the lottery. My ex-girlfriend has the ticket. I just broke up with her. FML

by anonymous / 05/17/2011 at 1:34pm / United States (Mississippi) / Money

Today, I had a parent-teacher conference with my 8 year old son. He'd written "Chuck Norris" as the answer for every question on his test. FML

by yobruh / 05/17/2011 at 12:54am / Kids

Today, I got circumcised by my zipper. FML

by Bobby M / 05/16/2011 at 12:33pm / Ireland (Carlow) / Health

Today, I noticed an extremely large bug buzzing around my room. After several attempts, I stomped on it with my shoe. I was trying to get a closer look at my victory when it flew into my nostril. Turns out it was just playing dead. FML

by bugnose / 05/16/2011 at 2:26am / Animals