This member hasn't filled in their description.
PoisonedLiquor's FML badges
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
PoisonedLiquor's favorite FMLs
by ImTheD0ct0r / 09/20/2013 at 12:37am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at work at Krispy Kreme for national "talk like a pirate" day. If you dressed like a pirate you'd get a free dozen donuts. A man came in with just an eyepatch on. Thinking he was trying to get a free dozen, I told him he needed to try harder. Turned out the eyepatch was real. FML
by Jamie / 09/19/2013 at 8:47pm / United States (Virginia) / Work
by alexbrooke / 09/15/2013 at 10:49pm / United States (Kentucky) / Animals
Today, I was home alone and heard the kitchen tap turn on. Shocked, I turned it off. It continuously kept turning itself on so I set my video phone on it to find out the cause. My cat has learnt to turn it on. I later found said cat teaching another. I have three cats. All my taps are like this. FML
by Madster15 / 09/15/2013 at 2:05am / Australia (Victoria) / Animals
Today, I went to the movies with my husband and our 6-year-old son. My husband kept stealing popcorn from the guy next to him, to the point where the guy punched him in the face. The movie was stopped, the police were called, and my son is now inconsolable. FML
by Anonymous / 09/14/2013 at 3:32pm / Iceland (Gullbringusysla) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/14/2013 at 1:23am / United States (Ohio) / Geek
by Anonymous / 09/13/2013 at 2:53am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy
Today, I had to babysit two kids. It all went well until one of them duct taped a knife to a toy machine gun, lit the barbecue on fire, and ran around like a wild banshee screaming obscenities. The other one got scared and climbed onto the roof of the house. FML
by ellen77 / 09/13/2013 at 1:55am / United States (California) / Work
by Crazy Crazy Crazy / 09/12/2013 at 8:01pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by natattack / 09/11/2013 at 5:35pm / United States (Texas) / Work
Today, after having recently told my 4-year-old daughter that she won't grow big and tall if she doesn't eat her veggies, she decided to pass this wisdom on to a midget that we passed in the store. FML
by Anonymous / 09/11/2013 at 2:10pm / United States (Florida) / Kids
by ugh Buck! / 09/11/2013 at 12:57pm / United States / Animals
by ANON / 08/13/2013 at 7:53pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by FuckYouMotherNature / 08/07/2013 at 2:51am / United States (California) / Health
- Today, I was patting my kitten who was asleep underneath the blanket on my lap. My roommate walked… Today, I came home to my mentally unhinged roommate jacking off to a frozen TV frame of Peggy Hill… Today, my mom walks into my room, with a serious look on her face asks me "When a man is getting it…
- Today, I’m in Sweden. This morning, I went out to get the mail in my pajamas. Well, it doesn’t only… Today, I’m in China, and I took my Golden Retriever to the groomer’s to get him cleaned up, because… Today, I truly understood that I was in Germany when, in my workplace, during our lunch break, one…