PoisonedLiquor

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Offline (the 12/13/2014 at 2:50am)

PoisonedLiquor

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1858
  • Number of comments : 29
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

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PoisonedLiquor's page activity

Visits<b>buckstop1</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 11:18pm<b>tj4234</b> - the 10/30/2013 at 7:23pm<b>nissanleaf</b> - the 10/30/2013 at 6:40pm<b>lysx84</b> - the 10/30/2013 at 4:34am<b>cat_womanz</b> - the 10/30/2013 at 2:09am<b>mwali02</b> - the 10/16/2013 at 1:02am<b>southernbelle_rn</b> - the 08/19/2013 at 4:27pm<b>OnlyTheDarkest</b> - the 08/12/2013 at 9:51am<b>TheDrifter</b> - the 08/12/2013 at 9:15am<b>jst219</b> - the 08/01/2013 at 1:14am<b>jennnfdsjk</b> - the 08/01/2013 at 12:27am<b>Cupcake040</b> - the 07/31/2013 at 4:20pm<b>ProLife</b> - the 07/31/2013 at 2:22pm<b>MTLATP</b> - the 07/23/2013 at 7:12am<b>DJ_Lyons</b> - the 07/14/2013 at 7:55pm<b>tarv</b> - the 07/14/2013 at 5:11pm<b>whiplash2289</b> - the 07/06/2013 at 1:08am<b>usernameunkn0wn</b> - the 07/05/2013 at 11:02pm

PoisonedLiquor's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of PoisonedLiquor's badges

PoisonedLiquor's favorite FMLs

Today, I asked my mom why she had two tooth brushes: one manual and one electric. She said: "I only use the manual one for brushing my teeth." FML

by Vincent / 01/02/2014 at 12:04am / United States (Kansas) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend told me that sometimes my nipples taste like onions. FML

by Snufflopagus / 01/01/2014 at 8:26am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I decided to light a lantern and watch it fly with my girlfriend after midnight. The neighbor's tree caught fire. FML

by claubea11 / 01/01/2014 at 12:17am / Puerto Rico / Miscellaneous

Today, my 4-year-old daughter figured out how to set a parental code lock on our television so we can't watch football because it scares her when we scream. She won't tell us no matter what we bribe her with. FML

by Anonymous / 12/30/2013 at 7:10am / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids

Today, I took an extra xanax to help with my anxiety, then went to sleep. I guess it was probably too much, because I woke up a few hours later, freaking out and panicking because I was convinced I was a bee trapped in a human body. FML

by beemove / 12/28/2013 at 4:19pm / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, I took a girl on a date. Her and her imaginary friends. FML

by rokkstarrrVRV / 12/28/2013 at 3:42am / Canada (Alberta) / Love

Today, I had to basically ground my own husband, after he tricked our 6-year-old son into getting his tongue stuck to a frozen pole. FML

by Anonymous / 12/21/2013 at 2:13pm / Sweden / Kids

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Just as he was about to finish, he pulled out and came in his hand. He then flicked his hand towards my face and yelled, "Sha-ZAM!" FML

by zamwow / 12/20/2013 at 6:36pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, I got to spend all of my time scrubbing poop off the walls and carpet because my 2-year-old decided he wanted to 'paint mama a picture.' FML

by ashsaunde / 12/08/2013 at 1:58am / United States (Colorado) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I got to spend all of my time scrubbing poop off the walls and carpet because my 2-year-old decided he wanted to 'paint mama a picture.' FML

by ashsaunde / 12/08/2013 at 1:58am / United States (Colorado) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my boyfriend announced to me he was sleeping with another girl via alphabet soup. FML

by fries / 11/24/2013 at 11:01am / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I tripped and fell, damaging my sternum and making it incredibly painful to breathe in or out too much. About ten minutes later, I got the hiccups. FML

by ChestExploding / 11/20/2013 at 6:53pm / United States (North Carolina) / Health

Today, I had to explain to my brother why it's not OK to stick his knob in the toaster. FML

by latter / 09/23/2013 at 8:05pm / United States (Maryland) / Kids

Today, I hit a new low in my financial troubles when I left my work to retrieve twenty-five cents after seeing someone drop it across the street. FML

by collegebroke / 09/22/2013 at 1:45am / United States (California) / Money

Today, my husband wanted me to "spice up" our sex life. I guess he didn't count on me vomiting when he came in my mouth. We won't be getting intimate again for a long, long time now. FML

by Anonymous / 09/20/2013 at 12:57am / United States (California) / Intimacy