PoisonOrchid

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Offline (the 11/08/2014 at 7:16pm)

PoisonOrchid

5Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 8 April 1987 (29 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 781
  • Number of comments : 157
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 13 posted

About PoisonOrchid : All messed up and slightly twisted. Am I sick or am I gifted? Paper airplanes. Open window. Here today and gone tomorrow.

Tell me something I don't know or suggest to me something I've never experienced before. I dare you.

PoisonOrchid's page activity

Visits<b>IsathatSo</b> - the 07/13/2016 at 4:12pm<b>jill97</b> - the 03/21/2016 at 10:58am<b>RonanErudon</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 10:54pm<b>JessMac9000</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 12:17am<b>GrimReefer66</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 3:45pm<b>Powerriot</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 10:01pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 10:30am<b>pandor</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 8:38pm<b>oops6663</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 12:02pm<b>stuckintime</b> - the 01/09/2015 at 6:35am<b>schindler12345</b> - the 12/29/2014 at 1:44pm<b>dextrementor</b> - the 12/04/2014 at 11:40pm<b>salyhahaha</b> - the 11/28/2014 at 8:21pm<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 6:48pm<b>Brainnnnz</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 5:45pm<b>twiiggyramiirez</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 2:16pm<b>ZY1431</b> - the 10/30/2014 at 6:38am<b>Anonymousian</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 6:09pm

Fucked!<b>twiiggyramiirez</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 7:16pm<b>Stazza11</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 1:30pm<b>Wingman527</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 9:39am<b>nichollelovins</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 4:32am<b>shadyladyhh</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 4:46pm

PoisonOrchid's FML badges

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Judgmental

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PoisonOrchid's favorite FMLs

Today, I found a book in my attic that I always read when I was a kid. For old times sake I read it again. On the very first page, child me had written, "Go to page 15" so I did. On page 15, in big red letters, it said, "Get bent". I got pranked by myself. FML

by Deadpool434 / 10/19/2014 at 3:27pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was asked to order a new lockable cash tin for work. When my boss returned to ask which one I'd selected, I said, "An 8-inch black one". Her giggle said it all. FML

by dicksonthebrain / 09/26/2014 at 9:03am / United Kingdom / Work

Today, my husband felt dishonoured: his darling little girl, the love of his life, whom he's always considered pure, turns out to be pregnant. He's now warned her: she's grounded and that whoever did this to her had better not come hanging round the house. Pussy, two years old, is now housebound until her kittens are born. FML

by Anonyme / 09/26/2014 at 2:56am / France (Lorraine) / Animals

Today, marks yet again another day that I've been asked if I'm autistic. No, that's just my Korean accent. Apparently I look "too white" to have one. FML

by notautistic / 09/25/2014 at 9:15pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

Today, someone in my class referred to the September 11th attacks as "Nine-Elevs". FML

by no / 09/10/2014 at 9:47pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I complimented a guy on his beard. His response? "Thanks. Wanna sit on it?" FML

Today, my 8 year old son asked me why he had to make his bed everyday if he would just use it again. I replied with, "You flush the toilet even though you're going to use it again, right?" He said, "Good point." Now he's not making his bed or flushing the toilet. FML

by sam_666777 / 08/29/2014 at 10:54pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, it's been three weeks since my dad finished growing what he calls a "Jesus beard" and gone out asking for donations and claiming to be Jesus Christ. I've been trying and failing to get a job for 2 years, and he's already raking in cash from gullible idiots. FML

by Anonymous / 08/29/2014 at 12:16pm / United States (Texas) / Money