About PoisonKiss : Hey Stalker! ;) Well I'm a fun person and have an awesome sense of humor-or so I've been told ;) I'm up for anything and will talk to just about anyone. The email's firstname.lastname@example.org, just in case you're interested in getting to know me better :). Deuces!
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PoisonKiss's favorite FMLs
Today, I came down with food poisoning of some sort. After hours of scrambling to the toilet to vomit and empty my bowels, my three-year-old daughter got fed up and is now trying to potty-train me. FML
by Anonymous / 04/22/2012 at 1:12pm / United States (Texas) / Kids
by Anonymous / 04/18/2012 at 3:18am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by SeeingLlamas / 04/17/2012 at 5:38am / United States (Tennessee) / Health
Today, I went to see my grandfather in hospital, to see how well he's recovering from his stroke. He asked who I was. After I told him I'm his grand-daughter, his head almost rolled off his neck in disappointment. FML
by GPemTGM / 04/08/2012 at 6:55am / Australia (Australian Capital Territory) / Health
Today, my mom was freaking out about me handling a CD-ROM with my bare hands. When I asked her what all the commotion was about, she said she was worried that I would catch "one of those computer viruses" she'd heard about on the news. FML
by aliezzedine / 02/02/2012 at 6:32am / Lebanon / Miscellaneous
Today, I was working on the computer when my dad walks in, pointing his finger at me like a gun. Before I could even ask, it turns out he was aiming a rubber band at me. The doctor says I'll be able to take off my eye patch in a couple of days. FML
by suhleedah18 / 12/19/2011 at 12:03am / United States / Health
Today, I got a letter of complaint from my landlord. It said my loud, obnoxious trampling is disturbing my downstairs neighbor, and I have to stop. I'm small and hardly weigh anything, but it seems that if I want to keep my lease, I'll have to master the art of levitating. FML
by Anonymous / 11/18/2011 at 3:49pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Miscellaneous
by me / 09/07/2011 at 7:53pm / United States (New Jersey) / Transportation
by EpicMayonnaise / 08/26/2011 at 3:35am / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, I had to say "Put away your burrito," "that ruler is not a light saber," and "stop making dog noises" all in the same sentence at work. I teach Advanced Placement Calculus to high school seniors. FML
by Anonymous / 08/20/2011 at 3:42am / United States (Texas) / Work
Today, my boyfriend and I were playing around. He threw me over his shoulder and turned around, smacking my face against the wall. Then he smacked my head into the fridge after turning round to see "what that loud bang" was. FML
by anonymous / 12/18/2010 at 4:11am / United States (South Carolina) / Love
by Sundendako / 01/27/2010 at 5:20am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 12/11/2009 at 1:11pm / United States (California) / Work
Today, I was walking on a path through a park by myself. I glanced at the ground and saw a shadow behind me. Thinking of an attacker, I screamed as loud as I could and began flailing my arms to ward him off. Turns out, it was a jogger. He had to stop due to his uncontrollable laughter. FML
by paranoid / 06/06/2009 at 12:43am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous