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Plastinate

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  • Number of visits : 118
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Plastinate's page activity

Visits<b>123765</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 11:17am<b>Swandive235</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 12:59am<b>eaglerob</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 9:59am<b>midnight_tiger</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 7:01pm<b>Pandaburr1</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 3:15am

Plastinate's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Plastinate's favorite FMLs

Today, I was stuck in the elevator at my building, so I pushed the emergency button which made a ringing noise. After half an hour, I hear someone yelling to the elevator, "Could you stop pushing that button, there are kids sleeping." FML

#21289322
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32129) - you deserved it (2143)

On 10/31/2014 at 9:26pm - misc - by Virginy - France

Today, my boyfriend was watching TV, when we started getting frisky. I'd just started to give him a blowjob when he pushed me off and said, "Fun's over." Dragon Ball Z had just come back on. He's 21. FML

#20632729
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57177) - you deserved it (14983)

On 04/30/2013 at 1:35pm - intimacy - by SecondBest,IGuess (woman) - United States

Today, I found out the guy I've been crushing on for many years thinks he's a werewolf. FML

#19536972
287 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24615) - you deserved it (4271)

On 04/27/2012 at 11:24am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I found out why my cups of tea have been tasting a bit funny. It turns out my kettle is full of ants, so every time I boil water to make tea, the ants get re-boiled along with it. FML

#17329330
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30984) - you deserved it (15811)

On 08/01/2011 at 4:32am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I killed a centipede. Now every little itch I feel, I think it's the centipede's spirit coming back to haunt me. FML

#17188633
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15783) - you deserved it (42776)

On 07/20/2011 at 8:36am - misc - by ElixirRose - United States (Georgia)

Today, at work, I helped out an employee who was having trouble. I even bought her a bottle of water. After the production manager decided to fire her on the spot, she went out in the parking lot and broke into several cars, including mine. FML

#14639057
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24681) - you deserved it (2242)

On 01/19/2011 at 1:54pm - work - by peachesthepigeon (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend kept trying to convince me to do anal with him. After denying him several times he told me "Why it feels good, trust me." I asked him how would he know. There was a long awkward silence when he then replied with "I'm not gay I swear." FML

#7563904
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30661) - you deserved it (4374)

On 01/25/2010 at 3:47am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I received a 4 page text message from my mom explaining what she was going to do to me tonight in full detail. I am one name below her boyfriend on her contact list. FML

#6094317
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27300) - you deserved it (2110)

On 11/01/2009 at 12:35am - intimacy - by Nomoretexting (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, at work, I accidentally got ink on my white dress shirt - right by my left nipple. Absentmindedly, I licked my finger and tried rubbing the stain out. When I looked up, the Vice President was staring at me in disbelief. FML

#5110537
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35178) - you deserved it (6023)

On 09/07/2009 at 6:19pm - work - by CMANIA (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend of 4 years proposed to me. I said yes and he gave me an engagement ring. He immediately went to call his mom to tell her the happy news. After the phone call, he asked if he could return the ring because his mom needed money. FML

#5110290
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51369) - you deserved it (3427)

On 09/07/2009 at 6:08pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I met my girlfriend's very religious parents for dinner. Somehow we got to talking about her groin hernias that were repaired as a baby. I never knew she had hernias repaired and said, "But she doesn't have any scars down there." There was a long awkward silence. FML

#618069
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34241) - you deserved it (124758)

On 03/26/2009 at 3:37am - intimacy - by douchetard (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I had my car stolen. When the police found it, pretty much everything inside was missing. For some reason, I had left 6 pairs of shoes in my back seat. Whoever stole my car thought it would be funny to take one shoe from each pair. I now own 6 unmatched shoes and my car smells like sex. FML

#570871
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84181) - you deserved it (5727)

On 03/24/2009 at 1:44am - intimacy - by proudestmonkey (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was having birthday dinner with my girlfriend and her parents, when her Dad asked what I got her she replied "He said he was going to give me a Pearl Necklace when we get home." I realized then that my girlfriend did not know what I meant by 'Pearl Necklace.' FML

#250417
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24604) - you deserved it (87705)

On 03/09/2009 at 9:35am - intimacy - by Ethan (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was masturbating to a girl with huge tits on the internet. I then scrolled down and found out she had a penis. FML

#4860
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9234) - you deserved it (52814)

On 02/01/2009 at 5:17pm - intimacy - by Noname - Canada (British Columbia)



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