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Plastinate

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 400
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Visits<b>Wizardo</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 3:55pm<b>decimater</b> - the 01/10/2015 at 4:32pm<b>greendalehumans</b> - the 01/03/2015 at 3:39pm<b>LadyDerps</b> - the 12/26/2014 at 8:45pm<b>PikidiliJo</b> - the 12/25/2014 at 2:56pm<b>123765</b> - the 12/04/2014 at 7:53pm<b>Swandive235</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 12:59am<b>eaglerob</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 9:59am<b>midnight_tiger</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 7:01pm<b>Pandaburr1</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 3:15am

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Plastinate's favorite FMLs

Today, I clogged the toilet in the one-man bathroom at the corner store, with a line of about 5 people waiting outside. FML

Today, I started work cleaning a customer's pool. I think her husband watches too much porn because he keeps glaring at me from the windows, and I overheard him telling his wife that he knows what's "going on" and that he's "not gonna let it happen". FML

#21397916
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29732) - you deserved it (2100)

On 04/22/2015 at 11:44am - work - by cock blocked (man) - United States (California)

Today, while walking down the street, a cute guy approached me. We ended up having some drinks then heading back to his place and hooked up. Afterwards, I used the bathroom, and when I came out, he was going through his wallet and asked me how much he owed me. FML

#21391926
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31711) - you deserved it (9540)

On 04/11/2015 at 6:05pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I bought a garden gnome to spice up my lawn. Tonight, someone threw it right through my living room window. Not only will the repairs cost a ton, my neighbor keeps saying stupid shit to me, like "You must be shattered" and "Looks like you ain't got a window gnome... more." FML

#21391420
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26792) - you deserved it (2868)

On 04/10/2015 at 6:17pm - misc - by dickhead (woman) - United States

Today, I was in a public restroom taking a poop and as I started unrolling the toilet paper, the whole roll fell off the handle and rolled out underneath the cubicle door. I heard somebody laugh at me. Nobody helped. FML

#21383475
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28076) - you deserved it (2317)

On 03/29/2015 at 8:49am - misc - by ToiletRoll - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. I'm extremely uncomfortable with eye contact, but he kept staring into my eyes the entire time. I had to sing the F.U.N. song from Spongebob in my head to stop myself having an anxiety attack. FML

#21356336
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36674) - you deserved it (5096)

On 02/14/2015 at 10:41pm - intimacy - by jessybear777 - United States (Missouri)

Today, after getting home from being in the field for a week, my wife who's a nurse, convinced me I had a spider bite on my penis. After rushing to the ER and standing nude in a cold exam room while the ER staff checked me out, I learned it's just an ingrown hair. FML

#21347765
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25963) - you deserved it (2419)

On 02/01/2015 at 1:13pm - health - by Why's it so cold in here? - United States

Today, I was stuck in the elevator at my building, so I pushed the emergency button which made a ringing noise. After half an hour, I hear someone yelling to the elevator, "Could you stop pushing that button, there are kids sleeping." FML

#21289322
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33175) - you deserved it (2370)

On 10/31/2014 at 9:26pm - misc - by Virginy - France

Today, my daughter's teacher called me, very concerned, because my child told the whole class she's not virgin anymore. The word is "vegan", honey. FML

#21253313
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40630) - you deserved it (3864)

On 09/06/2014 at 9:57pm - kids - by healthfreak - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend was playing with my hair, when his hand got caught. He ended up ripping out a handful of hair trying to get it free. FML

#21028790
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42840) - you deserved it (5658)

On 01/15/2014 at 2:22pm - misc - by coop42 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, at the movies, some asswipe kept throwing candy at me. After 20 minutes of it, I got up and went over to get him to stop. Good news: his balls vanished faster than a politician's spine immediately after being elected. Bad news: I got kicked out for "starting a disturbance". FML

#20952633
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37005) - you deserved it (3387)

On 11/10/2013 at 1:26pm - misc - by fuck you, bitchcake (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, my boyfriend was watching TV, when we started getting frisky. I'd just started to give him a blowjob when he pushed me off and said, "Fun's over." Dragon Ball Z had just come back on. He's 21. FML

#20632729
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57424) - you deserved it (15018)

On 04/30/2013 at 1:35pm - intimacy - by SecondBest,IGuess (woman) - United States

Today, a technician from my ISP came to my house to replace my router. He asked for a glass of water, one thing led to another, and for some reason I'll never fully understand, we ended up having sex. Looks like porn logic is not so far off the mark after all. FML

#20537010
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21863) - you deserved it (62114)

On 03/09/2013 at 1:50pm - intimacy - by je_regrette_tout (woman) - Sent from mobile version



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