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Plastinate

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Plastinate

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  • Number of visits : 312
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Plastinate's page activity

Visits<b>Wizardo</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 3:55pm<b>decimater</b> - the 01/10/2015 at 4:32pm<b>greendalehumans</b> - the 01/03/2015 at 3:39pm<b>LadyDerps</b> - the 12/26/2014 at 8:45pm<b>PikidiliJo</b> - the 12/25/2014 at 2:56pm<b>123765</b> - the 12/04/2014 at 7:53pm<b>Swandive235</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 12:59am<b>eaglerob</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 9:59am<b>midnight_tiger</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 7:01pm<b>Pandaburr1</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 3:15am

Plastinate's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

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You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

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Plastinate's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. I'm extremely uncomfortable with eye contact, but he kept staring into my eyes the entire time. I had to sing the F.U.N. song from Spongebob in my head to stop myself having an anxiety attack. FML

#21356336
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34880) - you deserved it (4930)

On 02/14/2015 at 10:41pm - intimacy - by jessybear777 - United States (Missouri)

Today, after getting home from being in the field for a week, my wife who's a nurse, convinced me I had a spider bite on my penis. After rushing to the ER and standing nude in a cold exam room while the ER staff checked me out, I learned it's just an ingrown hair. FML

#21347765
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25874) - you deserved it (2413)

On 02/01/2015 at 1:13pm - health - by Why's it so cold in here? - United States

Today, while hanging out with this guy I'm interested in, we turned and made eye contact. We were face to face and I thought he was finally going to kiss me. He decided to lick my face from chin to forehead instead. FML

#21320716
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31855) - you deserved it (4158)

On 12/20/2014 at 2:33am - love - by qyx3lmnop24 - United States (California)

Today, I was stuck in the elevator at my building, so I pushed the emergency button which made a ringing noise. After half an hour, I hear someone yelling to the elevator, "Could you stop pushing that button, there are kids sleeping." FML

#21289322
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33127) - you deserved it (2366)

On 10/31/2014 at 9:26pm - misc - by Virginy - France

Today, my daughter's teacher called me, very concerned, because my child told the whole class she's not virgin anymore. The word is "vegan", honey. FML

#21253313
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40565) - you deserved it (3859)

On 09/06/2014 at 9:57pm - kids - by healthfreak - United States (Georgia)

Today, at the movies, some asswipe kept throwing candy at me. After 20 minutes of it, I got up and went over to get him to stop. Good news: his balls vanished faster than a politician's spine immediately after being elected. Bad news: I got kicked out for "starting a disturbance". FML

#20952633
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36949) - you deserved it (3383)

On 11/10/2013 at 1:26pm - misc - by fuck you, bitchcake (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, my boyfriend was watching TV, when we started getting frisky. I'd just started to give him a blowjob when he pushed me off and said, "Fun's over." Dragon Ball Z had just come back on. He's 21. FML

#20632729
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57322) - you deserved it (14998)

On 04/30/2013 at 1:35pm - intimacy - by SecondBest,IGuess (woman) - United States

Today, I found out the guy I've been crushing on for many years thinks he's a werewolf. FML

#19536972
287 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26036) - you deserved it (4412)

On 04/27/2012 at 11:24am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I discovered the reason my favorite stick of deodorant hasn't smelled right for the past two weeks. My dad uses it on his butt crack and balls "to clean up the stank". FML

#17404409
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52639) - you deserved it (3508)

On 08/08/2011 at 3:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found out why my cups of tea have been tasting a bit funny. It turns out my kettle is full of ants, so every time I boil water to make tea, the ants get re-boiled along with it. FML

#17329330
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31928) - you deserved it (16176)

On 08/01/2011 at 4:32am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I killed a centipede. Now every little itch I feel, I think it's the centipede's spirit coming back to haunt me. FML

#17188633
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15828) - you deserved it (42855)

On 07/20/2011 at 8:36am - misc - by ElixirRose - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend kept trying to convince me to do anal with him. After denying him several times he told me "Why it feels good, trust me." I asked him how would he know. There was a long awkward silence when he then replied with "I'm not gay I swear." FML

#7563904
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30803) - you deserved it (4383)

On 01/25/2010 at 3:47am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I received a 4 page text message from my mom explaining what she was going to do to me tonight in full detail. I am one name below her boyfriend on her contact list. FML

#6094317
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28712) - you deserved it (2241)

On 11/01/2009 at 12:35am - intimacy - by Nomoretexting (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up after a heavy night of drinking, with my laptop dead on my chest. Apparently, I had attempted a bit of digital penile oscillation, but passed out instead. FML

#5634739
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5002) - you deserved it (16663)

On 10/04/2009 at 1:04am - intimacy - by masterfail (man) - United States (Georgia)



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