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Plastinate

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  • Number of visits : 245
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Plastinate's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

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Plastinate's favorite FMLs

Today, while hanging out with this guy I'm interested in, we turned and made eye contact. We were face to face and I thought he was finally going to kiss me. He decided to lick my face from chin to forehead instead. FML

#21320716
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31767) - you deserved it (4151)

On 12/20/2014 at 2:33am - love - by qyx3lmnop24 - United States (California)

Today, I was stuck in the elevator at my building, so I pushed the emergency button which made a ringing noise. After half an hour, I hear someone yelling to the elevator, "Could you stop pushing that button, there are kids sleeping." FML

#21289322
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32226) - you deserved it (2150)

On 10/31/2014 at 9:26pm - misc - by Virginy - France

Today, my daughter's teacher called me, very concerned, because my child told the whole class she's not virgin anymore. The word is "vegan", honey. FML

#21253313
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40167) - you deserved it (3811)

On 09/06/2014 at 9:57pm - kids - by healthfreak - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend was watching TV, when we started getting frisky. I'd just started to give him a blowjob when he pushed me off and said, "Fun's over." Dragon Ball Z had just come back on. He's 21. FML

#20632729
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57272) - you deserved it (14990)

On 04/30/2013 at 1:35pm - intimacy - by SecondBest,IGuess (woman) - United States

Today, I found out the guy I've been crushing on for many years thinks he's a werewolf. FML

#19536972
287 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24665) - you deserved it (4272)

On 04/27/2012 at 11:24am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I discovered the reason my favorite stick of deodorant hasn't smelled right for the past two weeks. My dad uses it on his butt crack and balls "to clean up the stank". FML

#17404409
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52597) - you deserved it (3506)

On 08/08/2011 at 3:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found out why my cups of tea have been tasting a bit funny. It turns out my kettle is full of ants, so every time I boil water to make tea, the ants get re-boiled along with it. FML

#17329330
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31042) - you deserved it (15839)

On 08/01/2011 at 4:32am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I killed a centipede. Now every little itch I feel, I think it's the centipede's spirit coming back to haunt me. FML

#17188633
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15814) - you deserved it (42809)

On 07/20/2011 at 8:36am - misc - by ElixirRose - United States (Georgia)

Today, at work, I helped out an employee who was having trouble. I even bought her a bottle of water. After the production manager decided to fire her on the spot, she went out in the parking lot and broke into several cars, including mine. FML

#14639057
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24737) - you deserved it (2249)

On 01/19/2011 at 1:54pm - work - by peachesthepigeon (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend kept trying to convince me to do anal with him. After denying him several times he told me "Why it feels good, trust me." I asked him how would he know. There was a long awkward silence when he then replied with "I'm not gay I swear." FML

#7563904
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30761) - you deserved it (4382)

On 01/25/2010 at 3:47am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I received a 4 page text message from my mom explaining what she was going to do to me tonight in full detail. I am one name below her boyfriend on her contact list. FML

#6094317
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28685) - you deserved it (2241)

On 11/01/2009 at 12:35am - intimacy - by Nomoretexting (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up after a heavy night of drinking, with my laptop dead on my chest. Apparently, I had attempted a bit of digital penile oscillation, but passed out instead. FML

#5634739
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4520) - you deserved it (15573)

On 10/04/2009 at 1:04am - intimacy - by masterfail (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, at work, I accidentally got ink on my white dress shirt - right by my left nipple. Absentmindedly, I licked my finger and tried rubbing the stain out. When I looked up, the Vice President was staring at me in disbelief. FML

#5110537
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35248) - you deserved it (6027)

On 09/07/2009 at 6:19pm - work - by CMANIA (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend of 4 years proposed to me. I said yes and he gave me an engagement ring. He immediately went to call his mom to tell her the happy news. After the phone call, he asked if he could return the ring because his mom needed money. FML

#5110290
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51463) - you deserved it (3432)

On 09/07/2009 at 6:08pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Mississippi)



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Thursday 22 January 2015

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