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Plastinate

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Plastinate

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Mold, United Kingdom
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 8 July 1997 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 662
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Plastinate's page activity

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That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

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Plastinate's favorite FMLs

Today, I shared with my doctor that I still feel uncomfortable with my medication. She expressed surprise, saying, "Really? By now I would've thought it'd be routine." Sorry, no. In three months, I have not gotten used to sticking a syringe up my butt and injecting my rectum full of medicated foam. FML

#21522878
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19490) - you deserved it (1514)

On 02/04/2016 at 9:22pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today, my son wanted to be Spiderman. He found the biggest spider he could outside and let it bite his hand. He's staying overnight in the hospital. FML

#21522558
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21466) - you deserved it (2032)

On 02/03/2016 at 9:04pm - kids - by Spooderman (woman) - United States

Today, I finished reading a manga series on a website I go on all the time. As I read the last page I got a huge celebratory message from the website saying I was the first one to read every manga on their site. The website opened in 2011 and has over 30,000 manga. My God, I need a social life. FML

#21514123
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21474) - you deserved it (6174)

On 01/11/2016 at 9:47pm - misc - by Lesser spotted female gaming nerd (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I bailed my brother out of jail for violating a restraining order filed against him by his ex. I dropped him off at the place he told me he was staying at. Turned out it was his ex's house, and now he's in jail again. FML

#21512854
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22931) - you deserved it (3218)

On 01/08/2016 at 1:23pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, I went for bloodwork. It's routine for me, so I was ready for the nurse to put in the needle and take my blood. It went in fine, but right after, she slowly pulled the needle out, then wondered why the blood stopped. She then moved it back and forth in my arm while I panicked silently. FML

#21511628
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20682) - you deserved it (1382)

On 01/05/2016 at 12:17am - health - by bloodless - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had a job interview where I was asked, "Who is your best friend?" I replied truthfully, "My cat", only to then be asked what my cat would describe as my best qualities, which didn't go far beyond, "Remembering to feed him". They weren't impressed. FML

#21511573
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18292) - you deserved it (5077)

On 01/04/2016 at 10:08pm - work - by Emma (woman) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, I got a call from my dad asking if I was a porno actress. I am. FML

#21510678
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25326) - you deserved it (22344)

On 01/02/2016 at 5:31pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I sneezed incredibly hard while eating a granola bar. 5 hours later, it's still hellishly painful to swallow. Please kill me. FML

#21510414
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19617) - you deserved it (1689)

On 01/01/2016 at 10:46pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, during a family dinner, I witnessed my younger brother casually slip his hand down the back of his pants, take it out, sniff each finger individually, before stirring his hand in his spaghetti and continue to eat normally. I was the only one who saw this. FML

#21504620
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21010) - you deserved it (1421)

On 12/16/2015 at 10:42pm - kids - by who wants spaghetti - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was walking my dog when I saw a man trying to get a screaming little girl into a van. I called 911 and ran over yelling at him. His wife then got out of the van and explained the girl was their daughter and they were just trying to make her go to school. FML

Today, I decided it was time to have "the talk" with my daughter, after I found a thong in the washing machine. She denied it was hers and pointed out how it was too big to fit her. I ended up having a very different talk with my son. FML

#21485867
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27393) - you deserved it (2743)

On 10/29/2015 at 4:02pm - kids - by caroline (woman) - Germany

Today, I had to close my eyes in shame and pretend I didn't exist, as my mom gave a cop a good look at her wrinkled, prune-like cleavage and tried to convince him that the speed limit is optional. FML

#21478120
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24845) - you deserved it (1692)

On 10/10/2015 at 12:50am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got the last clean bowl out of the cupboard for a bowl of cereal. After I had finished, my family asked me if I had cleaned it first. It turns out that that specific bowl is apparently the dog's, and everyone just puts it back after feeding him. FML

#21447917
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26219) - you deserved it (5190)

On 07/27/2015 at 5:25am - misc - by NoOrdinaryNZer - New Zealand (Bay of Plenty)

Today, whilst vacuuming, I stupidly decided to vacuum the bathroom drain to see what would happen. Turns out it will cause stinking septic water to get sucked into the machine and spew all over the walls, ceiling and vanity. It also causes the vacuum cleaner to stop working. FML

#21445713
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10249) - you deserved it (35777)

On 07/22/2015 at 10:32pm - misc - by sucked_in - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I babysat the Antichrist of all kids. After the 5 long hours were over, his parents came home. Instead of paying me what they agreed, they offered to let me eat some leftovers of a takeout in the fridge. I'm so afraid of confrontation that I accepted. FML

#21443019
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23606) - you deserved it (9508)

On 07/17/2015 at 12:40pm - money - by raquel (woman) - United States



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

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  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

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