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Plastinate's favorite FMLs
by WhoaZombie / 04/18/2016 at 11:06pm / United States (Ohio) / Animals
by Belle / 04/08/2016 at 2:11pm / United States (Illinois) / Health
Today, I listened to my best friend complain, again, about the two guys she's seeing, and how she doesn't know which one to choose, because they're both perfect. Meanwhile, I'm cleaning up my dog's loose stools, haven't had a date in over three years and I'm also sharing a room with the very same best friend. FML
by howtobesingle / 04/06/2016 at 10:45pm / Norway (Oslo) / Love
by Anonymous / 03/26/2016 at 10:53pm / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy
Today, my roommate used my PC without asking. Long story short, it's now infected with ransomware. The dissertation I've been working on for months is now encrypted, along with all the backups on my second hard drive. Now I have to pay the hackers $1,500 to get the decryption key. FML
by Anonymous / 03/19/2016 at 8:30am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I found out that my stepsister loves sticking random household objects in her ear in an attempt to collect ear wax. I found out when I walked in on her trying to pick all the wax out of the bristles of my toothbrush. FML
by suppressinggags / 03/18/2016 at 3:45pm / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 03/16/2016 at 4:58pm / United States (North Carolina) / Kids
Today, my 2-year-old daughter started showing signs of understanding the potty training concept. She announced to my mother-in-law that she needed to go potty, only to be flatly told, "No, you don't." So she crapped herself. Now it's going to take forever to train her. FML
by Disgruntled / 03/16/2016 at 8:01am / United States (Michigan) / Kids
Today, at a family dinner, I found the courage to tell my husband's parents about my schizophrenia. They exchanged weird looks and then there was an uncomfortable silence. Then my father-in-law finally says, "Christ. The grandkids won't come out all nutty, right?" FML
by Anonymous / 03/09/2016 at 1:54pm / United Kingdom (Cumbria) / Health
by queerdragon / 02/25/2016 at 11:32pm / United States (California) / Animals
by noooooo / 02/21/2016 at 11:03am / United States (Georgia) / Animals
by madisonnnnnn / 02/12/2016 at 8:38pm / United States (Colorado) / Health
by Anonymous / 02/09/2016 at 6:21pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Health
Today, I shared with my doctor that I still feel uncomfortable with my medication. She expressed surprise, saying, "Really? By now I would've thought it'd be routine." Sorry, no. In three months, I have not gotten used to sticking a syringe up my butt and injecting my rectum full of medicated foam. FML
by Anonymous / 02/04/2016 at 9:22pm / United States (Maryland) / Health
by Spooderman / 02/03/2016 at 9:04pm / United States / Kids
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…