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PirateGirl12's favorite FMLs
by how about never? / 10/19/2014 at 7:22am / United States (California) / Kids
by whotouchedyou1 / 08/25/2014 at 10:37pm / United States (Texas) / Health
by Anonymous / 07/11/2014 at 7:03am / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids
Today, my coworker was telling me about his mom, when he asked about mine. I told him that I've never met my mom, because she died during my childbirth. It's a very painful subject for me, but all the same, my coworkers have decided they'll now only address me as "Tyrion". FML
by the lannisters send their retards / 06/17/2014 at 4:30pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Work
by alii2349 / 02/10/2014 at 10:16pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Animals
by LadyDeadpool88 / 02/04/2014 at 9:50am / United States (North Carolina) / Kids
Today, my fiancé left me waiting at the train station for two and a half hours because he offered his ex-girlfriend a lift to her friends wedding that was a few cities away. I normally wouldn't have minded, but I'm 6 months pregnant and it was pouring with rain. FML
by ali456 / 12/01/2013 at 10:16am / United Kingdom (Dudley) / Love
by Anonymous / 11/29/2013 at 3:23am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous
by jazopalchris / 11/25/2013 at 6:42pm / Australia (South Australia) / Kids
Today, I sat down with my daughter to have the sex talk, because she recently started seeing a guy. I mentioned at one point how disappointed I would be if she got pregnant. She went wide-eyed and asked, "Didn't mom tell you?" FML
by unknown / 11/02/2013 at 5:10pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Kids
Today, during dinner, my mom told my dad and me in great detail about the "awesome" new cosmetic surgery idea she just had: constructing earlobes for lobeless ears, using skin taken from women's labia. I was forced to sit through this until I finished my plate. FML
by Champignon / 11/01/2013 at 10:17am / Belgium (Antwerpen) / Intimacy
Today, I got a new cell phone number and sent a text to my wife. Playing around, I said, "Hey sexy are you alone yet? I'm ready to come over." She responded with, "Hey, yeah he is at work - did you get a new number?" FML
by PapaW / 11/01/2013 at 3:01am / United States (Utah) / Intimacy
by catfan / 10/30/2013 at 1:48am / United States (California) / Kids
Today, my fiancée of 2 years and mother of my son, who is also pregnant with our second son, commented on how lucky two friends getting married were to have found each other. I said that we're just as lucky. She responded, "No. They actually love each other." FML
by failure / 10/27/2013 at 8:41pm / United States (Louisiana) / Love
Today, I got married. My husband and I had been waiting until marriage to have sex, and when the time came, we started to undress. As I took my bra off, his eyes glazed over, and he fainted. An hour later, all he could say was, "I don't think we're meant to be together." FML
by Anonymous / 10/27/2013 at 7:46pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…
- Today, my boyfriend wanted to show me that he listened to me yesterday: I said that I loved unusual… Today, I’m in Mexico for an internship. I was at a party when a drunk guy harangued me, calling me… Today, I’m a French teacher abroad, and as my beard has a huge hole near my chin, my students call…