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Today, my boyfriend told everyone I queef during sex. Even his parents are calling me "Cooter Pooter." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28074) - you deserved it (4809)
On 08/30/2010 at 2:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I found out the "small termite problem" the inspector told me about wasn't so small when a box from the attic fell through the floor and hit me in the head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21689) - you deserved it (2455)
On 08/23/2010 at 5:03am - health - by concusion - United States (Texas)
Today, I took my brother and nieces to the zoo. Two of the lions at the exhibit were mating, so I said, "They're playing leap-frog." My 4-year-old niece said, "Looks like they're fucking to me." FML
I agree, your life sucks (38265) - you deserved it (10979)
On 08/21/2010 at 12:49pm - intimacy - by mc_dreamy - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I was supposed to be going on my first date with a guy I really liked. He never showed up. I just found out my dad was outside washing the car when my date showed up. He told him he didn't have a daughter and to never show up on his driveway again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34029) - you deserved it (2403)
On 08/07/2010 at 7:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Utah)
Today, I got my sister to pluck my eyebrows. She shaped them wrong, so now I look constantly sad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14165) - you deserved it (18823)
On 07/13/2010 at 11:02am - misc - by OhNo - United Kingdom (Sheffield)
Today, I learned two important facts: #1 A grown man can, in fact, get beaten up by a teenage girl, and #2 If someone is convinced you are someone else, there is no telling them otherwise. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22329) - you deserved it (3322)
On 05/21/2010 at 1:04am - health - by mrmidi - United States (Oregon)
Today, the guy I'm seeing and I were having sex. While I was having my orgasm, he looked at me and said "SHHHH!". FML
I agree, your life sucks (28688) - you deserved it (5778)
On 05/20/2010 at 2:25am - intimacy - by evelynn - Sent from mobile version
Today, I got bitten by my aunt's dog. My brother was holding the leash. He said he didn't pull the dog away from me because he didn't want to rip my shirt. Meanwhile, the dog was biting a penny-sized chunk out of my hip. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18647) - you deserved it (1646)
On 05/15/2010 at 1:09am - health - by bitten (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I got dumped because I was on my period. Apparently he was pissed because I have one "like, every single month." FML
I agree, your life sucks (57418) - you deserved it (6234)
On 03/28/2010 at 5:04am - intimacy - by drsyl54 - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, a wild squirrel managed to get into my house. I can't see him but I hear him in the walls. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18283) - you deserved it (1579)
On 02/28/2010 at 6:16am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I drunkenly hooked up with my friend's cousin. After trying to stick his finger up my butt, he blacked out on top of me with his penis still hard inside me. I tried yelling his name and pushing him off, with no success. I ended up having to call my friend to help me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6341) - you deserved it (14626)
On 02/23/2010 at 7:01pm - intimacy - by lendahandmanda (woman) - United States (California)
Today, while serving a rather large party at the restaurant where I work, I mentioned that the soup of the day was "to die for". After the hosts gave me weird looks, it dawned on me that the reason they were wearing all black is because they've just come back from a funeral. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17663) - you deserved it (9037)
On 02/17/2010 at 11:32am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, while working security at the mall, someone shat his pants. The shit dripped all over the floor and escalator. I was the one who had to stand near the poop so no one stepped in it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18349) - you deserved it (1841)
On 02/14/2010 at 12:07am - work - by mallcop - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I went for a ride with my son. I noticed he didn't have his seat belt on. To teach him a lesson, I drove very slowly and hit the brakes really hard. The impact was greater than I thought, so my son hit his head against the window and left a huge crack. He just laughed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5435) - you deserved it (43635)
On 01/13/2010 at 1:12pm - kids - by Joe (man) - Belgium (Oost-Vlaanderen)
Today, I walked in on my parents necking in the living room. I promptly covered my eyes and muttered something about my innocence being stolen from me. My dad looked up from the couch, and mentioned that he had heard my innocence being stolen by Jake, my boyfriend from 2 years ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5951) - you deserved it (25112)
On 01/11/2010 at 9:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Monday 20 May 2013
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