Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Offline (the 10/30/2015 at 4:17am) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 17 September 1993 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 947
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About PicanteSeed : a lot of people assume I'm a homosexual they are correct with their assumption . when I'm nervous I cant control the pitch of my voice, excuse me while I scream...

KIK: joniro23

PicanteSeed's page activity

Visits<b>chr1sF</b> - the 11/24/2015 at 11:46pm<b>Swift527</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 6:25am<b>styles829</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 2:40pm<b>watermelon1</b> - the 06/09/2015 at 11:24pm<b>RobotUnicorn1209</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 10:41am<b>Moklon</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 11:08pm<b>Kar0</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 6:02pm<b>italyball</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 4:02pm<b>s_t_adam</b> - the 05/23/2015 at 7:30am<b>Jeeper4Life</b> - the 05/23/2015 at 3:15am<b>Steffi3</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 4:01pm<b>zBerryz</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 11:09am<b>Atowns40</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 4:12am<b>DjMckay</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 9:19pm<b>the_aspect</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 7:51pm<b>alicealiveordead</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 5:30pm<b>BaconForAll</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 2:46am<b>sam882</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 6:35pm

Fucked!<b>RobotUnicorn1209</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 4:41pm<b>the_aspect</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 10:55pm<b>False_Stupidity</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 8:59am<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 11:57am<b>OhWhoCares</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 6:25pm<b>condor216</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 4:21am<b>lizardFace</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 4:44pm<b>Swift527</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 8:26am<b>salyhahaha</b> - the 12/07/2014 at 4:14pm<b>tehaustiebear</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 3:15am

PicanteSeed's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of PicanteSeed's badges

PicanteSeed's favorite FMLs

Today, I opened up to my boyfriend about being sexually abused in the past. He said it explains why I'm "such a bitch" when it comes to personal contact. FML

Today, my boyfriend told me that he doesn't know why I think deepthroating is so uncomfortable. To prove his point, he grabbed my dildo and effortlessly slid it down his throat. FML


I agree, your life sucks (29862) - you deserved it (5306)

On 10/13/2015 at 3:35am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, desperate to meet a guy, I went clubbing. The only guy to show any interest opened with: "You're hot, for a black chick!" FML


I agree, your life sucks (24158) - you deserved it (2504)

On 10/10/2015 at 12:43am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, we had a school reunion. The guy who bullied me throughout my high school career is now rich and married. I'm broke and single, and he specifically came up to me to point it out. FML


I agree, your life sucks (25683) - you deserved it (1977)

On 10/03/2015 at 4:45pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I got so used to using this FML app while going to the bathroom that when I opened it, I accidentally peed a little. FML


I agree, your life sucks (27186) - you deserved it (11278)

On 05/24/2015 at 9:14pm - misc - by Anon - United States (Ohio)

Today, I discovered why my pet bird has been hiding behind my couch pillow lately. It's not because she was nesting, as I thought. She's been secretly tearing apart the whole couch from behind there instead. FML


I agree, your life sucks (26583) - you deserved it (4457)

On 04/18/2015 at 3:34pm - animals - by thisisnotavirustrustme.exe (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I tripped while rushing to my classes. In a desperate attempt to regain my balance, I grabbed the nearest thing to me. A fire alarm. FML


I agree, your life sucks (29599) - you deserved it (3713)

On 04/15/2015 at 6:12pm - misc - by Drill Drilled - United States (California)

Today, at a big family dinner, my dad said, "Pfff, gays don't have it hard at all. The things a guy has to do for sex with a girl? Crazy. All a gay guy has to do for sex is become an altar boy!" My husband's side of the family is very religious, and all hell quickly broke loose. FML


I agree, your life sucks (34519) - you deserved it (3408)

On 03/07/2015 at 1:42pm - misc - by killme (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, we got a new Roomba. I set it to clean and came back an hour later to find shit smears all over the floor. Apparently, one of my cats had done his business in the kitchen, and the Roomba had dragged it around the entire first floor of my house. FML


I agree, your life sucks (34585) - you deserved it (5500)

On 01/13/2015 at 8:50pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Delaware)

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first handjob. I was nervous, so when she went to do it, I panicked and yelled, "Firmly grasp it!" She then couldn't stop laughing because it was a line from SpongeBob. FML

Today, I went to work and said hi to my boss. He reached towards me. I thought he was trying to give me a hug, so I awkwardly hugged him back. Turned out he was just trying to fix my shirt collar. FML


I agree, your life sucks (28359) - you deserved it (4203)

On 01/09/2015 at 4:17pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I was sitting at my computer, petting one of my cats, who was sitting on my lap. My other cat got jealous and tried to climb onto my lap as well. They ended up fighting. I was wearing shorts. FML


I agree, your life sucks (30439) - you deserved it (4187)

On 01/09/2015 at 1:44am - animals - by Crazy Cat Guy (man) - United States (California)

Today, I could not decide what was sadder: the fact that I have to work on New Year's Eve, or that fact that working on New Year's Eve is still the most exciting thing I've ever done for New Year's Eve. FML


I agree, your life sucks (28556) - you deserved it (3042)

On 12/31/2014 at 7:29pm - work - by MegaZeo (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was trying to show my family a cool website. Unfortunately my porn instincts kicked in and I started typing the URL of my favorite porn site. I couldn't stop myself before it autocompleted. FML


I agree, your life sucks (14821) - you deserved it (36425)

On 12/26/2014 at 5:38pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, while shopping with my father, I had to use the restroom. As soon as I opened the door to the men's room, my father yelled that it was the ladies' room. I then turned around and went through the other door, where I ended up getting bitch-slapped. FML


I agree, your life sucks (29838) - you deserved it (6102)

On 12/23/2014 at 3:46pm - misc - by wowdadreally (man) - United States (Texas)

C comme Line's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Céline's illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! It’s a day of national pride over near the FML offices. There's a time for everything, and even if the desire to piss about to release the tension is huge, we mustn’t forget that we can…

Friday 27 November 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: