Phyre24

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Offline (the 06/15/2014 at 1:12am)

Phyre24

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 18640
  • Number of comments : 99
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About Phyre24 : I'm a Canadian. Watch NCIS. Bones and Burn Notice. Play CoD zombies, Halo, DayZ, Planetside 2 and AC. I'm very logical. I like reading the Drizzt series by R.A. Salvatore. Sherlock Holmes is my favourite detective of all time and I've read every single story.

Phyre24's page activity

Visits<b>PHP</b> - the 06/27/2016 at 5:31pm<b>sallysali9</b> - the 04/11/2016 at 3:44pm<b>BonnieRabbit18</b> - the 10/15/2015 at 2:20pm<b>Alexis0927</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 8:43pm<b>UncleHoodie</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 5:23pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 1:43pm<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 01/17/2015 at 10:42pm<b>outlawjavis</b> - the 12/10/2014 at 8:01pm<b>qwerty401</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 4:17am<b>jaydoug92</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 1:32am<b>SpicyGuy</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 2:44pm<b>sims_addict16</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 6:26pm<b>byEyecandy</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 11:41am<b>JoshTheTacoMan</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 6:23am<b>mattjamt</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 9:42am<b>1915destroyer</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 2:21am<b>Thorzix</b> - the 05/20/2014 at 2:19am<b>RabbidIbanez</b> - the 04/02/2014 at 8:19pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 7:43pm

Phyre24's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

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Phyre24's favorite FMLs

Today, after dating for almost a year, I decided to introduce my parents to the man I was sure I'd fallen in love with. When dad saw him, his and my boyfriend's face completely dropped. I asked them what was wrong because I could feel the discomfort. Turns out, I'm dating my dad's drug dealer. FML

by explanations / 06/14/2013 at 2:48am / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, my dad was teasing me, saying a guy would have to be blind to go on a date with me. I then introduced him to my new, visually impaired boyfriend. He hasn't stopped laughing. FML

by Anonymous / 06/13/2013 at 8:30pm / United Kingdom (Southampton) / Love

Today, I was on my bike. As I'm rolling through an intersection, some asshat in a pickup runs the red light and hits me. Instead of getting out and helping me, the guy hops out, takes a look at me lying in the street, steals my hat and drives off. That was my favorite hat. FML

by Are you f*cking kidding me / 06/12/2013 at 2:10am / United States (Colorado) / Transportation

Today, my boyfriend was extremely nervous to meet my parents but I made him do it anyway. One of the first things out of his mouth was, "I'm glad you had sex." When they gave him a look of shock, he added, "You know, when you made your daughter! She's awesome!" FML

by lsababy / 06/11/2013 at 2:46pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my band and I played at our first ever real gig. Our drummer turned up high out of his damn mind. After ruining our act with his godawful performance, he screamed "HELL YEAH!" then ran and dove off the stage into a nearly non-existent audience. We were told to never come back. FML

by Anonymous / 06/07/2013 at 3:32pm / Canada (Quebec) / Work

Today, on my way home on my motorbike from a great party in the early hours of the morning, I was feeling pretty good about myself. Riding over a hill, I yawned in anticipation of climbing into bed. A huge winged bastard insect thing then flew straight into my throat. FML

by Nearly Crashed / 05/27/2013 at 9:42am / United States (New Jersey) / Animals

Today, one of my boyfriend's friends commented on how small my boobs are. My boyfriend defended me, saying it was only because I was wearing a sports bra. I wasn't. It was the push-up bra he bought me. FML

by Anonymous / 05/25/2013 at 7:12pm / United States / Love

Today, I got on the subway with a broken leg. A kind woman stood up and offered me her seat. Before I could sit down, a guy shoved past me and took it for himself. The woman and I pointed out my cast and crutches, and asked him to give up the seat. He responded by flipping us off. FML

by a hex upon your anus, sir / 05/25/2013 at 12:14pm / United Kingdom / Transportation

Today, a package was delivered to my house, addressed to me, clearly marked "sexual health products". Inside were condoms, birth control pills, and an invoice made out to me. My parents went ballistic and grounded me. Whoever staged this "hilarious" prank: well played, asshole. FML

by Anonymous / 05/24/2013 at 5:43pm / Iceland (Eyjafjardarsysla) / Intimacy

Today, at the supermarket, a man collapsed. I gave CPR while the cashier called for help. During this, the other patrons were complaining that no other register was open. Once the ambulance arrived, I returned to my cart to find items removed and 40 dollars taken from my purse. FML

by Anonymous / 05/16/2013 at 12:39am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out I'm actually the uncle of my children. All four of them. FML

by Liferuinedforever / 05/14/2013 at 3:13am / Pakistan (Sindh) / Kids

Today, I learned if you type my full name in Google Images, the 3rd thing that comes up is a naked woman in ropes. Someone on Pornhub thought it was smart to comment that the girl looks just like me. She does. Now my parents think I'm a porn star, and most people at school stopped talking to me. FML

by magomag / 05/14/2013 at 12:15am / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, I had my college graduation ceremony. As I was walking across the stage, some asshat, in front of over 55,000 students and staff, brazenly ran across the stage, snatched my diploma up out of the president's hand, and ran off. FML

by Uwrongfodat / 05/09/2013 at 6:11am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my sister texted me, saying she was about to go into surgery. It's been a long time coming, and we've both been worried about what could happen. I texted "good luck" back. My phone autocorrected it to "goodbye" and I didn't even notice. FML

by Anonymous / 05/02/2013 at 12:49pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my sister was crying to me about how her boyfriend never showed up for their date. He's done this many times before, so I suggested the fact that maybe he'd just ditched her. She said that was ridiculous, because "he's Canadian" and according to her, "they don't lie." FML

by Anonymous / 04/25/2013 at 4:36pm / United States (Maryland) / Love