Phyre24

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Offline (the 06/15/2014 at 1:12am)

Phyre24

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 18266
  • Number of comments : 99
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About Phyre24 : I'm a Canadian. Watch NCIS. Bones and Burn Notice. Play CoD zombies, Halo, DayZ, Planetside 2 and AC. I'm very logical. I like reading the Drizzt series by R.A. Salvatore. Sherlock Holmes is my favourite detective of all time and I've read every single story.

Phyre24's page activity

Visits<b>PHP</b> - yesterday at 5:31pm<b>sallysali9</b> - the 04/11/2016 at 3:44pm<b>BonnieRabbit18</b> - the 10/15/2015 at 2:20pm<b>Alexis0927</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 8:43pm<b>UncleHoodie</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 5:23pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 1:43pm<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 01/17/2015 at 10:42pm<b>outlawjavis</b> - the 12/10/2014 at 8:01pm<b>qwerty401</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 4:17am<b>jaydoug92</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 1:32am<b>SpicyGuy</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 2:44pm<b>sims_addict16</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 6:26pm<b>byEyecandy</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 11:41am<b>JoshTheTacoMan</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 6:23am<b>mattjamt</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 9:42am<b>1915destroyer</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 2:21am<b>Thorzix</b> - the 05/20/2014 at 2:19am<b>RabbidIbanez</b> - the 04/02/2014 at 8:19pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 7:43pm

Phyre24's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

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Phyre24's favorite FMLs

Today, I was in a training about the newest changes in CPR. The trainer was discussing chest compression techniques and said she prefers "good, fast, hard pumping." I was the only one who snickered out loud, drawing several annoyed looks from the other trainees. I'm a 45-year-old doctor. FML

by Anonymous / 07/25/2013 at 11:15pm / United States (North Carolina) / Work

Today, my friends took my work laptop and changed the sounds. Now, whenever I remove a USB device, a woman's voice screams "Put it back!" and when I insert a USB device, it says "Oh, you need to push it in harder!" I don't know how to change it back. FML

by Anonymous / 07/20/2013 at 11:45am / United States (Delaware) / Work

Today, I came home at 1am to find my mom sitting on my couch, ranting about how I'm not supposed to stay up this late. I'm 26 and I don't know how she got into my house. FML

by whowhat / 07/11/2013 at 2:26am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a message from my brother on Facebook that read, "They're watching you." This wouldn't have been such a big deal if he hadn't been dead for two years. FML

by Wtf / 07/10/2013 at 1:24am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, while leaving McDonald's, I threw a fry out the window to a flock of seagulls. I watched in the rear-view mirror as it landed in the opposite lane and about 60 winged rats descended upon the street, causing a truck to veer off the road and crash. FML

by John / 07/09/2013 at 10:48pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I were out cliff jumping, when for the first time, he told me he loved me. I panicked and pushed him over the edge and into the water. He's now in hospital. FML

by Erica / 07/08/2013 at 1:27pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, my boyfriend and I went to my parents' barbecue. He knew my family is extremely religious, so what did he do? Called for silence to make an announcement, namely: "God isn't real." Cue a riot that ended in us being kicked out and me all but disowned for "putting him up to it". FML

by he's a dawk, and a cunt / 07/05/2013 at 6:29pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, at the doctor's, I had lots of papers to fill out so my boyfriend offered to help. We submitted them and the doctor called me a few minutes later. Under disorders my boyfriend had written, "Major cock craving disorder." The doctor couldn't stop giggling. FML

by Never Going Back To The Doctor / 07/04/2013 at 3:03am / United States / Intimacy

Today, it was the second anniversary of the day I met my girlfriend. I had to go to work, but I set an engagement ring and a letter on my pillow for when she woke up, and left breakfast for her on the counter. When I got home, she and all of her things were gone. FML

by foreveralone / 06/23/2013 at 10:42am / United States / Love

Today, I walked in on my grandma playing with herself. Every time I close my eyes, I see things that no mortal was ever meant to see. FML

by bleeeaaaaaacccccchhhhhhhh / 06/21/2013 at 5:00pm / United States (District of Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, my drunk dad decided to wake me up by lobbing our cat directly into my now-mauled face. FML

by Anonymous / 06/21/2013 at 4:38pm / Netherlands (Noord-Brabant) / Animals

Today, I came back from the doctor after having been diagnosed with a UTI. My dad now won't shut up about it, saying stuff like, "You must be 'pissed'", "Looks like 'urine' a bit of pain", and "'Urea'-lly need some antibiotics, son", all while making obnoxious finger quotes in the air. FML

by assholedad / 06/21/2013 at 2:05pm / United States (Ohio) / Health

Today, after years of battling my social anxiety issues, I went out clubbing with my friends. A girl started talking to me and we actually hit it off. The next thing I know, I'm on the floor getting wailed on by some bloke for hitting on his girlfriend. She didn't do a thing to stop him. FML

by lehonj49 / 06/21/2013 at 12:10pm / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, I have pink eye in both eyes, the stomach virus, and a cold. I'm also sitting at work because my boss "doesn't believe in sick days." FML

by sicksicksick / 06/19/2013 at 1:23pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health

Today, I found out I'm going to be a grandfather. I'm 29, my son is 13 and the girl in question is 16. FML

by young grandpa / 06/17/2013 at 6:49pm / United States (Georgia) / Kids