Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Offline (the 04/16/2014 at 8:57am) | Search for a member
About Phooey : I'm a chic with a dirty mind, not sure if it's a gift or a curse but I'm leaning more towards a gift. Hhhmm I'm one of the guys, my good friend Dom wishes I'm a guy so I could join the frat he's in.
I'm on this app just about everyday for a good laugh. The one thing I hate is there are a lot of FML on the moderation that should get posted so there could be a follow up because they are hilarious! I literally ctfu when reading them.
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
A new Thumb
You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Today, some alarm, somewhere in my house, is making a low battery noise. I've checked every smoke detector multiple times, and I can't find it. It has been hours. I'm not sure if its still doing it or if the sound has just invaded my brain. FML
Today, when I went to the shopping centre, the automatic door wouldn't open for me. I had to stand there and wait until someone else walked by to open it for me. I suffer from dwarfism and this is a daily occurrence. FML
Today, I was eating an apple in class. When I went to take a big bite, my teeth went right through the apple, causing me to scrape the apple right up my face. My nose then started to bleed. I'm now known as the girl who punched herself in the face with an apple. FML
Today, I was walking and saw a quarter. I bent down to pick it up. Barely a foot ahead there was another, so I crawled over to get it. This continued for about six feet when I realize a kid was laying them out in a trail. I had collected 7 fake quarters and the kid had it on video. FML
Today, we had a surprise party for my boss. Someone turned out all the lights. I was so scared of the dark, the first thing my boss saw when he walked in was all my co-workers watching me scream, "TURN IT ON!" FML
Today, I was out with my girlfriend at a club. As a slow dance began, a guy approached and asked, "May I cut in?" My girlfriend surprised me by saying, "Sure!" As I was about to protest, the guy cut me off and said, "Sorry miss, I was asking him." FML
Today, after having recently told my 4-year-old daughter that she won't grow big and tall if she doesn't eat her veggies, she decided to pass this wisdom on to a midget that we passed in the store. FML
Today, I finally talked my boyfriend into going down on me. Everything went well until I came and instinctively gripped his head with my thighs. He panicked and we both rolled off of the bed crocodile-style. Now he's too scared to even have sex with me. FML
Friday 18 July 2014