Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Phooey

Offline (21 hours ago) | Search for a member

Phooey

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 760
  • Number of comments : 51
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About Phooey : I'm a chic with a dirty mind, not sure if it's a gift or a curse but I'm leaning more towards a gift.

I'm on this app just about everyday to read the comments/follow ups for a good laugh and to kill time.

Phooey's page activity

Visits<b>1nertia</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 7:40pm<b>LoverWordsFood</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 11:12pm<b>plastix</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 6:26am<b>Seabass_Chan</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 10:11pm<b>Ashd09</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 5:02pm<b>MRSwick2525</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 4:58pm<b>Pleonasm</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 2:53am<b>AirBusDriver</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 3:49pm<b>Motocrosskid87</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 5:56pm<b>FiFiLovee</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 2:56pm<b>Enslaved</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 8:09am<b>14kgold</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 3:51am<b>Harry_19901</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 6:38am<b>Inuyasha843</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 2:03pm<b>cdncw</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 12:26pm<b>jacky75</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 10:20pm<b>ksks1234</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 2:39am<b>rafa015</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 1:53pm

Fucked!<b>AirBusDriver</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 2:24am

Phooey's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

See all of Phooey's badges

Phooey's favorite FMLs

Today, my boss broke off our relationship because he said it's inappropriate. I really liked him, but I accepted it and respected his integrity. A few hours later, I found out he's now dating my colleague. FML

#21460841
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24682) - you deserved it (3666)

On 08/26/2015 at 4:33am - work - by salope (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was lying on a couch, reading, when I noticed a spindly leg poking round the corner of my book. Upon realising it was a spider, I calmly and rationally threw my book across the room, breaking the TV. FML

#21459977
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19059) - you deserved it (8211)

On 08/24/2015 at 4:46am - misc - by Annie (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, at a quiet restaurant, my stepdad loudly told me he hopes in the future they have "hover caskets" so he doesn't have to carry my "fat ass" to the grave. All because I didn't want a side salad. FML

Today, while having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, I pushed all the way in. She said, "Stop teasing me, put everything in." FML

#21454970
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33825) - you deserved it (3655)

On 08/11/2015 at 10:23pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Israel (Tel Aviv)

Today, I went to a garden party my friend had invited me to. I soon discovered they had seriously downplayed the formality of the event, as I noticed trays of fancy hors d'oeuvres and glasses of champagne lined up on the table. I showed up with Kool Aid and Ritz crackers. FML

#21448484
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24926) - you deserved it (3524)

On 07/28/2015 at 8:22am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Slough)

Today, I wore a new shirt, but forgot to remove the price tag. It was kind of windy outside, so when I got outside, the tag hit me on the neck, I thought it was a giant insect attacking my neck. I started screaming like a little girl. I'm a 30 year old guy. FML

#21386588
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25194) - you deserved it (7741)

On 04/02/2015 at 3:58pm - misc - by Jordan (man) - Jordan (Al Balqa')

Today, I made a speech in front of my entire graduating class and their families, despite my fear of public speaking. It seemed to go well and I got a big round of applause at the end. Then I panicked and instead of waving, I lifted my arm straight out in a Hitler salute. FML

#21379710
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34062) - you deserved it (6992)

On 03/22/2015 at 8:32pm - misc - by oooooops (man) - United States

Today, while walking out of a store eating a candy bar, a homeless man tried to run up and steal my candy. I stuck a leg out and tripped him. The only thing I could think of to yell at him was, "Swiper no Swiping". My kids have ruined my coolness. FML

#21366982
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34586) - you deserved it (6700)

On 03/02/2015 at 11:57pm - misc - by Dad (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I am still finding glitter in my ass crack after a concert last night that had a confetti cannon. Thanks Marilyn Manson, I feel so metal now. FML

Today, I slept on the plane ride home and had a scary nightmare. I started screaming in my dream, so loud that it shocked the old lady sitting next to me into screaming as well. The whole plane began laughing as we were both screaming. FML

Today, while wandering around the big city I just relocated to, I asked a seemingly pleasant-looking lady where the nearest library was. She told me to get lost, and started laughing. Then said she was just joking and gave me directions. I'm now standing in front of a gay strip joint. FML

#21225641
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45287) - you deserved it (4900)

On 07/31/2014 at 7:38am - misc - by lostintdot (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my husband thought it would be romantic to pick me up and fall on the bed with me while we were kissing. Our faces smashed together as we hit the bed, and my tongue is still bleeding on and off. FML

#21224768
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46784) - you deserved it (5578)

On 07/30/2014 at 1:04pm - intimacy - by WasntWorthIt - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I had a rough day and was extremely tired. I took a nap on the couch, and woke up to a guy robbing my house. I pretended I was still sleeping, waiting a chance to grab him or run out safely. I ended up falling back asleep. FML

#21219246
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43746) - you deserved it (22735)

On 07/24/2014 at 11:59am - misc - by FML - United States (Virginia)

Today, some alarm, somewhere in my house, is making a low battery noise. I've checked every smoke detector multiple times, and I can't find it. It has been hours. I'm not sure if its still doing it or if the sound has just invaded my brain. FML

Today, when I went to the shopping centre, the automatic door wouldn't open for me. I had to stand there and wait until someone else walked by to open it for me. I suffer from dwarfism and this is a daily occurrence. FML

#21118654
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54821) - you deserved it (4211)

On 04/21/2014 at 12:11am - misc - by shorty (man) - Australia (Queensland)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: