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About Phoenix0614 : Damnit, Jim, I'm a doctor, not a comedian.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was going to break up with my boyfriend for taking me for granted and being such a jerk. He didn't even show up for our date. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21043) - you deserved it (3265)
On 03/10/2010 at 3:00am - love - by Maddy (woman) - United States (Utah)
Today, I went to go see a specialist for my prostate and was told he would have to do an exam before I could leave. Having had this checked just the previous year, I was more than a little irritated. As I was bent over the table the Dr. said, "Now, just pretend I'm Angelina Jolie." FML
I agree, your life sucks (16627) - you deserved it (1603)
On 03/05/2010 at 7:40pm - health - by artsmart1 - United States
Today, I caught my dog attempting to shit on the carpet. When I saw him, I screamed. Startled, he ran around the house, continuing to take his shit. Now, I don't have to clean up a nice pile, I get to go on a scavenger hunt and find all of the scattered turds. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14124) - you deserved it (7935)
On 03/05/2010 at 12:17am - animals - by Catois (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I found out my brother blew chunks into the inside of my jeans. How did I find this out? I put them on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15601) - you deserved it (1609)
On 03/04/2010 at 6:24am - misc - by AZN656 - Australia (Victoria)
Today, my best friend decided she wanted to tell my boyfriend about the time I pissed myself laughing at her house. When she was telling the story I ended up laughing so hard, that I pissed myself again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7229) - you deserved it (13537)
On 03/03/2010 at 10:19pm - misc - by Titi14 - United States (New York)
Today, I was chatting with my boyfriend and his mates barefoot on the grass. I suddenly felt something flick across my feet, so I let out a startled scream. Turns out it was my toe hairs rustling in the breeze. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4388) - you deserved it (13999)
On 02/28/2010 at 4:12am - misc - by combo - Sent from mobile version
Today, I got sent out of the class for "inappropriate" behaviour. The teacher later forgot about me and sent a notice home to my parents stating that I skipped class. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17285) - you deserved it (4578)
On 02/27/2010 at 3:04pm - misc - by shnigel - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I grounded my daughter for putting play doh in the toaster. She's 17 and got into Columbia early admissions. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18647) - you deserved it (3412)
On 02/19/2010 at 1:18am - misc - by grrrrrr (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I went to the store to get Valentine's Day gifts to decorate my boyfriend's and my new apartment. He was there shopping with his wife. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26717) - you deserved it (3396)
On 02/03/2010 at 1:47pm - love - by fantastic - Sent from mobile version
Today, I told my best friend I was breaking up with my girlfriend of 3 years. He thought it would be funny to tell her I was going to propose to her that night. She showed up telling me how much she loves me and that when we get married how great it will be. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23800) - you deserved it (4624)
On 01/29/2010 at 7:08pm - misc - by anonymous - Sent from mobile version
Today, I found out my dad bought an iPhone. I've spent the better part of the last six months teaching him how to check his email and online newspapers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13032) - you deserved it (2173)
On 01/29/2010 at 10:29am - misc - by anonymas (woman) - Norway (Troms)
Today, I went to a camp my friend invited me to, thinking we'd just be roasting marshmallows all day and hanging out outside. Nope. It was a soul searching, get closer to Jesus camp. The first five hours were spent repeatedly praying and singing. I'm not a Christian. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24853) - you deserved it (6838)
On 01/29/2010 at 6:22am - misc - by purple - Sent from mobile version
Today, my window fell out of the wall, landed on my head, and shattered. I waited 6 hours to get 23 stitches in the emergency room. When I got home, I found a bill. I owe my landlord $130 to replace the window. They won't fix it until I pay up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20539) - you deserved it (1275)
On 01/29/2010 at 3:49am - money - by dani1104 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was working at IHOP serving a table full of drunk idiots. After an hour of taking care of them I went to clean up their mess to find the tip they had left me. On a napkin a girl had wrote "Here's your tip for the night: Don't play leap frog with unicorns." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20762) - you deserved it (1751)
On 01/28/2010 at 7:14pm - work - by Juggalette (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my boyfriend said that we needed to talk, he then told me that he cheated on me with my brother several times, but that it was a mistake, he is in fact not gay, just experimenting, and that we should still stay together. My boyfriend is 26, and my brother has a wife. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36962) - you deserved it (1845)
On 01/28/2010 at 12:01am - love - by disgusted (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
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