Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Phoenix0614

Search for a member

Phoenix0614

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 14 June 1984 (30 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1720
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 2 confirmed out of 27 posted

About Phoenix0614 : Damnit, Jim, I'm a doctor, not a comedian.

Phoenix0614's page activity

Visits<b>hazerdagreek</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 1:10am<b>Scarylizard1798</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 11:58am<b>niknakpattywak</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 9:39pm<b>dingleberriet</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 6:51am<b>manchesterUK</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 1:16pm<b>AGFDS1004</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 6:58am<b>spiers1</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 2:47am<b>lions_maine</b> - the 06/10/2014 at 3:49pm<b>batah</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 6:38pm<b>AustinDenton</b> - the 05/27/2014 at 11:16am<b>emmingle</b> - the 05/21/2014 at 4:09am<b>k_smitty</b> - the 05/02/2014 at 4:28pm<b>LeeB</b> - the 04/11/2014 at 5:57pm<b>Dblocker</b> - the 04/09/2014 at 4:54pm<b>EmmiAnne</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 1:22am<b>MrDante</b> - the 04/06/2014 at 10:29am<b>onathenarwhal</b> - the 03/26/2014 at 6:21pm<b>atleast7midgets</b> - the 03/23/2014 at 1:01am

Phoenix0614's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Phoenix0614's favorite FMLs

Today, I was going to break up with my boyfriend for taking me for granted and being such a jerk. He didn't even show up for our date. FML

#8965394
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28141) - you deserved it (4430)

On 03/10/2010 at 3:00am - love - by Maddy (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I went to go see a specialist for my prostate and was told he would have to do an exam before I could leave. Having had this checked just the previous year, I was more than a little irritated. As I was bent over the table the Dr. said, "Now, just pretend I'm Angelina Jolie." FML

#8851700
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22890) - you deserved it (2412)

On 03/05/2010 at 7:40pm - health - by artsmart1 - United States

Today, I caught my dog attempting to shit on the carpet. When I saw him, I screamed. Startled, he ran around the house, continuing to take his shit. Now, I don't have to clean up a nice pile, I get to go on a scavenger hunt and find all of the scattered turds. FML

#8837524
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20509) - you deserved it (11282)

On 03/05/2010 at 12:17am - animals - by Catois (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found out my brother blew chunks into the inside of my jeans. How did I find this out? I put them on. FML

#8819162
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22489) - you deserved it (2485)

On 03/04/2010 at 6:24am - misc - by AZN656 - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my best friend decided she wanted to tell my boyfriend about the time I pissed myself laughing at her house. When she was telling the story I ended up laughing so hard, that I pissed myself again. FML

#8811834
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10370) - you deserved it (21581)

On 03/03/2010 at 10:19pm - misc - by Titi14 - United States (New York)

Today, I was chatting with my boyfriend and his mates barefoot on the grass. I suddenly felt something flick across my feet, so I let out a startled scream. Turns out it was my toe hairs rustling in the breeze. FML

#8711589
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6801) - you deserved it (22716)

On 02/28/2010 at 4:12am - misc - by combo - Sent from mobile version

Today, I got sent out of the class for "inappropriate" behaviour. The teacher later forgot about me and sent a notice home to my parents stating that I skipped class. FML

#8691974
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24597) - you deserved it (6410)

On 02/27/2010 at 3:04pm - misc - by shnigel - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I grounded my daughter for putting play doh in the toaster. She's 17 and got into Columbia early admissions. FML

#8432968
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25664) - you deserved it (4504)

On 02/19/2010 at 1:18am - misc - by grrrrrr (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to the store to get Valentine's Day gifts to decorate my boyfriend's and my new apartment. He was there shopping with his wife. FML

#7846539
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34462) - you deserved it (4514)

On 02/03/2010 at 1:47pm - love - by fantastic - Sent from mobile version

Today, I told my best friend I was breaking up with my girlfriend of 3 years. He thought it would be funny to tell her I was going to propose to her that night. She showed up telling me how much she loves me and that when we get married how great it will be. FML

#7682413
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31662) - you deserved it (6334)

On 01/29/2010 at 7:08pm - misc - by anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found out my dad bought an iPhone. I've spent the better part of the last six months teaching him how to check his email and online newspapers. FML

#7670989
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19295) - you deserved it (3137)

On 01/29/2010 at 10:29am - misc - by anonymas (woman) - Norway (Troms)

Today, I went to a camp my friend invited me to, thinking we'd just be roasting marshmallows all day and hanging out outside. Nope. It was a soul searching, get closer to Jesus camp. The first five hours were spent repeatedly praying and singing. I'm not a Christian. FML

#7668183
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32211) - you deserved it (9355)

On 01/29/2010 at 6:22am - misc - by purple - Sent from mobile version

Today, my window fell out of the wall, landed on my head, and shattered. I waited 6 hours to get 23 stitches in the emergency room. When I got home, I found a bill. I owe my landlord $130 to replace the window. They won't fix it until I pay up. FML

Today, I was working at IHOP serving a table full of drunk idiots. After an hour of taking care of them I went to clean up their mess to find the tip they had left me. On a napkin a girl had wrote "Here's your tip for the night: Don't play leap frog with unicorns." FML

Today, I went to the doctor for horrible stomach pains. He said I had an abnormal amount of stool in me, and that I'd need to flush it out. I called my mom and told her what happened, to which she responded, "I always knew you were full of shit, I didn't need a doctor to tell me that." FML

#7631341
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31699) - you deserved it (6378)

On 01/28/2010 at 12:01am - misc - by Crap (woman) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Jim Trim's Illustrated FML
  • Action stations! I'm back from my holiday, I've got some sort of weirdly uneven tan and I already want to go back to the beach to bum about and finish off my colouring book. But I can't. I'm still…

Friday 29 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: