Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Phoenix0614

Search for a member

Phoenix0614

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 14 June 1984 (30 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1846
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 2 confirmed out of 27 posted

About Phoenix0614 : Damnit, Jim, I'm a doctor, not a comedian.

Phoenix0614's page activity

Visits<b>gczizza1997</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 1:42pm<b>christinamarie17</b> - the 11/14/2014 at 1:29am<b>RoseBlack123</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 12:42pm<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 10:55pm<b>galactictoast13</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 11:45pm<b>manchesterUK</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 4:27am<b>Flasby</b> - the 09/23/2014 at 6:10pm<b>hazerdagreek</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 1:10am<b>Scarylizard1798</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 11:58am<b>niknakpattywak</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 9:39pm<b>dingleberriet</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 6:51am<b>AGFDS1004</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 6:58am<b>spiers1</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 2:47am<b>lions_maine</b> - the 06/10/2014 at 3:49pm<b>batah</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 6:38pm<b>AustinDenton</b> - the 05/27/2014 at 11:16am<b>emmingle</b> - the 05/21/2014 at 4:09am<b>k_smitty</b> - the 05/02/2014 at 4:28pm

Phoenix0614's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Phoenix0614's favorite FMLs

Today, I was going to break up with my boyfriend for taking me for granted and being such a jerk. He didn't even show up for our date. FML

#8965394
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28940) - you deserved it (4507)

On 03/10/2010 at 3:00am - love - by Maddy (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I went to go see a specialist for my prostate and was told he would have to do an exam before I could leave. Having had this checked just the previous year, I was more than a little irritated. As I was bent over the table the Dr. said, "Now, just pretend I'm Angelina Jolie." FML

#8851700
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22991) - you deserved it (2419)

On 03/05/2010 at 7:40pm - health - by artsmart1 - United States

Today, I caught my dog attempting to shit on the carpet. When I saw him, I screamed. Startled, he ran around the house, continuing to take his shit. Now, I don't have to clean up a nice pile, I get to go on a scavenger hunt and find all of the scattered turds. FML

#8837524
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20601) - you deserved it (11308)

On 03/05/2010 at 12:17am - animals - by Catois (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found out my brother blew chunks into the inside of my jeans. How did I find this out? I put them on. FML

#8819162
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22573) - you deserved it (2490)

On 03/04/2010 at 6:24am - misc - by AZN656 - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my best friend decided she wanted to tell my boyfriend about the time I pissed myself laughing at her house. When she was telling the story I ended up laughing so hard, that I pissed myself again. FML

#8811834
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10418) - you deserved it (21648)

On 03/03/2010 at 10:19pm - misc - by Titi14 - United States (New York)

Today, I was chatting with my boyfriend and his mates barefoot on the grass. I suddenly felt something flick across my feet, so I let out a startled scream. Turns out it was my toe hairs rustling in the breeze. FML

#8711589
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6837) - you deserved it (22780)

On 02/28/2010 at 4:12am - misc - by combo - Sent from mobile version

Today, I got sent out of the class for "inappropriate" behaviour. The teacher later forgot about me and sent a notice home to my parents stating that I skipped class. FML

#8691974
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24688) - you deserved it (6422)

On 02/27/2010 at 3:04pm - misc - by shnigel - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I grounded my daughter for putting play doh in the toaster. She's 17 and got into Columbia early admissions. FML

#8432968
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25779) - you deserved it (4510)

On 02/19/2010 at 1:18am - misc - by grrrrrr (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to the store to get Valentine's Day gifts to decorate my boyfriend's and my new apartment. He was there shopping with his wife. FML

#7846539
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34558) - you deserved it (4519)

On 02/03/2010 at 1:47pm - love - by fantastic - Sent from mobile version

Today, I told my best friend I was breaking up with my girlfriend of 3 years. He thought it would be funny to tell her I was going to propose to her that night. She showed up telling me how much she loves me and that when we get married how great it will be. FML

#7682413
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31771) - you deserved it (6342)

On 01/29/2010 at 7:08pm - misc - by anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found out my dad bought an iPhone. I've spent the better part of the last six months teaching him how to check his email and online newspapers. FML

#7670989
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19385) - you deserved it (3147)

On 01/29/2010 at 10:29am - misc - by anonymas (woman) - Norway (Troms)

Today, I went to a camp my friend invited me to, thinking we'd just be roasting marshmallows all day and hanging out outside. Nope. It was a soul searching, get closer to Jesus camp. The first five hours were spent repeatedly praying and singing. I'm not a Christian. FML

#7668183
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32770) - you deserved it (9438)

On 01/29/2010 at 6:22am - misc - by purple - Sent from mobile version

Today, my window fell out of the wall, landed on my head, and shattered. I waited 6 hours to get 23 stitches in the emergency room. When I got home, I found a bill. I owe my landlord $130 to replace the window. They won't fix it until I pay up. FML

Today, I was working at IHOP serving a table full of drunk idiots. After an hour of taking care of them I went to clean up their mess to find the tip they had left me. On a napkin a girl had wrote "Here's your tip for the night: Don't play leap frog with unicorns." FML

Today, I went to the doctor for horrible stomach pains. He said I had an abnormal amount of stool in me, and that I'd need to flush it out. I called my mom and told her what happened, to which she responded, "I always knew you were full of shit, I didn't need a doctor to tell me that." FML

#7631341
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31833) - you deserved it (6392)

On 01/28/2010 at 12:01am - misc - by Crap (woman) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: