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Today, I saw my boyfriend with his arm wrapped around another girl's waist at the mall. He saw me, panicked, and pretended to give the girl the Heimlich maneuver. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10925) - you totally deserved it (535)
On 03/18/2010 at 9:04pm - love - by amiugly (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my wife told me she was very horny as we have not had sex in about two weeks, so I told her to do something for me to get me in the mood. She sighed and then went upstairs to get ready for work. FML
I agree, your life sucks (2118) - you totally deserved it (906)
On 03/18/2010 at 4:21am - intimacy - by Username - Sent from a mobile version
Today, I applied for my job, while working at my job. I hope they hire me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6639) - you totally deserved it (1242)
On 03/17/2010 at 10:12pm - work - by TheSuregeon (man) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I decided to fake it when my husband and I were making love. Afterwards, he told me that he could tell my head was "really in the game" and felt a stronger connection with me now and was glad I opened up and "let go" with him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (2378) - you totally deserved it (8348)
On 03/17/2010 at 11:46am - intimacy - by shouldabeenapornstar (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I rear-ended a car while I was texting about the accident ahead which was causing all the traffic. FML
I agree, your life sucks (2521) - you totally deserved it (26539)
On 03/17/2010 at 7:51am - misc - by KobraKommander - Sent from a mobile version
Today, my schlong decided to enter Mortal Kombat with my pants zipper. Guess which of the two won a flawless victory? FML
I agree, your life sucks (9340) - you totally deserved it (2160)
On 03/16/2010 at 2:55pm - health - by liu_kang - United States
Today, I was proposed to in a McDonald's. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17981) - you totally deserved it (3676)
On 03/16/2010 at 6:55am - love - by hater -
Today, the boy I like finally acknowledged me. He came up to me and uttered two words: "Nice pooper." FML
I agree, your life sucks (1044) - you totally deserved it (533)
On 03/15/2010 at 5:14am - intimacy - by shygurl434 - United States (Alaska)
Today, I realized that not only am I still an unpublished author, but I can't even get an FML posted after submitting several in the last year. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14817) - you totally deserved it (3474)
On 03/13/2010 at 8:43am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, my new neighbours came over to introduce themselves. I open the door to see my ex-husband, with a horrified look on his face, and his girlfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15002) - you totally deserved it (595)
On 03/12/2010 at 7:08pm - love - by abby0019 - Sent from a mobile version
Today, my three year old nephew was pointing at the TV screen and saying "Uncle, Uncle!" He thought it was me on the screen. It was Rosie O'Donnell. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14570) - you totally deserved it (1895)
On 03/08/2010 at 1:16am - misc - by raidered - United States (California)
Today, I caught my dog attempting to shit on the carpet. When I saw him, I screamed. Startled, he ran around the house, continuing to take his shit. Now, I don't have to clean up a nice pile, I get to go on a scavenger hunt and find all of the scattered turds. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9878) - you totally deserved it (5807)
On 03/05/2010 at 12:17am - misc - by Catois (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, trying to take initiative, I wore nothing but an apron and led my husband to the kitchen by his knob to have some fun. I tripped on the floor and used his knob to keep balance. FML
I agree, your life sucks (2857) - you totally deserved it (1289)
On 03/03/2010 at 11:22am - intimacy - by Sorry (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I realized explosive diarrhea can happen, and at the most inopportune times, such as on the day of MY wedding. At the alter while my husband said his vows. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32833) - you totally deserved it (1323)
Today, I tried to see if you can kick yourself in the nuts. You can. FML
I agree, your life sucks (2014) - you totally deserved it (33559)
On 02/23/2010 at 4:28am - misc - by nutcracker (man) - Slovenia (Bohinj)
