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Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Up and coming moderator
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Today, I was driving down the road. A giant seagull flew into my windsheild and shattered it. If that is not bad enough, the carcass slid up my windshield, into my sunroof, and suddenly I had a bloody, dead passenger. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23620) - you deserved it (1932)
On 10/08/2010 at 7:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, after me and my boyfriend had pretty much amazing sex, he took off the condom and started swinging it back and forth, all while making the sounds of a clock and saying, "You are getting sleepy." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21748) - you deserved it (4821)
On 10/08/2010 at 8:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, after bringing my dog back inside, he started whining. I thought it was because he wanted his toys, but he was really trying to say, "Help me," as a torpedo of diarrhea exploded out of him, leaving a trail down the hallway. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20633) - you deserved it (3382)
On 10/06/2010 at 12:01pm - animals - by ukfan - United States
Today, I was rushed to the hospital to deliver my child. On the way, I called my husband who was in a bar with his friends. Drunk, he just yelled, "BROS BEFORE HOS!!" and hung up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59555) - you deserved it (6011)
On 10/04/2010 at 5:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I was visiting my boyfriend, who lives 2 hours away. After about twenty minutes of glorious sex, he told me in no uncertain terms that he was about to come. He then "baaa"d like a sheep as he came. I couldn't come after that. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21341) - you deserved it (2857)
On 10/02/2010 at 4:31pm - intimacy - by seriously (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I caught my husband modeling my cute floral panties. All he could manage to say was "I love you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21248) - you deserved it (3220)
On 10/01/2010 at 7:07am - intimacy - by canispankthat - United States (California)
Today, I caught my husband modeling my cute floral panties. All he could manage to say was "I love you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21248) - you deserved it (3220)
On 10/01/2010 at 7:07am - intimacy - by canispankthat - United States (California)
Today, I had to cancel my wedding because my fiancé is so hungover from his bachelor party, he's throwing up all over the place, can't stand up straight and is calling me by the stripper's name he met yesterday night. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33564) - you deserved it (3387)
On 10/01/2010 at 5:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was walking down the street and I passed two guys. As I went by, I heard one of guys whisper "Jeez, that girl looks like Donald Trump." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17867) - you deserved it (2433)
On 09/30/2010 at 8:47pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)
Today, I went to the beach with this boy I like. Not thinking it'd be anything more than a simple date, I didn't shave my downstairs. We were sitting on a towel and I laid down. Then he said, "Is there a squirrel in your pants?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (13470) - you deserved it (27964)
On 09/29/2010 at 1:59am - intimacy - by Claire (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I nervously introduced my mother to my new boyfriend. I had to sit and watch her flirt with him for an hour. When I took her in the other room and confronted her about it, she said, "Don't you dare ruin this for me!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (33052) - you deserved it (2115)
On 09/28/2010 at 10:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Maine)
Today, I took a girl I like to the movies. Everything went great until I went in to kiss her. She didn't object, but my mother, who apparently followed me to the theater and was now pulling me away by my shirt while saying, "We're leaving!" certainly did. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32033) - you deserved it (2225)
On 09/28/2010 at 1:35pm - misc - by Jake - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, my mum suggested that I should take self-defense lessons just in case I ever get attacked. Jokingly, I said, "As long as I walk under street lamps, no one is going to touch me." She replied, "Well, you never know, they might mistake you for someone good looking." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21322) - you deserved it (3150)
On 09/28/2010 at 12:16pm - misc - by Username - Sent from mobile version
Today, I went on a first date to the movies. During the flick, I choked on a piece of popcorn. I took a gulp of soda and that got stuck as well. I finally got my breath back and let out the loudest burp I ever have. He looked at me and said "Does this mean I can fart now?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (12330) - you deserved it (18616)
On 09/27/2010 at 7:45am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, I was on an airplane, riding in first class for the first time in my life. The man next to me turned to me just before takeoff, stared at my chest, and said that he hoped there would be severe turbulence. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26910) - you deserved it (2903)
On 09/25/2010 at 5:49pm - misc - by huj - United States (Texas)
Monday 20 May 2013
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