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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 3 July 1994 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 8214
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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PeytonKaulitz's page activity

Visits<b>_LoveSucks_21</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 12:34am<b>peytonkins12</b> - the 12/28/2011 at 6:30pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:38pm<b>hamstersFOreal</b> - the 08/09/2010 at 11:00pm<b>2igutierrez31</b> - the 08/09/2010 at 12:50pm<b>rileykins</b> - the 08/09/2010 at 10:50am<b>fuck_this_shit_5</b> - the 08/09/2010 at 8:46am<b>buzz18</b> - the 07/29/2010 at 11:37pm<b>crushfly01</b> - the 07/28/2010 at 3:33pm<b>redexposed</b> - the 07/27/2010 at 6:25pm<b>JesseJaymz</b> - the 07/12/2010 at 2:09am<b>hoter_than_lexie</b> - the 07/11/2010 at 2:57pm<b>chaychay84</b> - the 07/10/2010 at 4:05am<b>281go</b> - the 07/07/2010 at 12:52am<b>mercury23</b> - the 07/01/2010 at 12:42pm<b>FFML_314</b> - the 07/01/2010 at 2:25am<b>bluecar24</b> - the 06/29/2010 at 10:06pm<b>Aero_boy</b> - the 06/27/2010 at 9:23pm

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PeytonKaulitz's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad asked me for a word that rhymes with vagina. He was filling out an anniversary card for my mom. FML

by nothingdoes / 10/27/2010 at 1:59pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, my dad got a new phone and put me on speed dial. I have received several voice mails from him accidentally dialed. They are from him riding the train, in a meeting, having lunch, and, most recently, him taking a monstrous dump. FML

by Anonymous / 10/20/2010 at 6:22pm / United States (Illinois) / Geek

Today, my boyfriend described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur.' FML

by Anonymous / 10/18/2010 at 12:10am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I saw my boyfriend shaving his pubic hair before we had sex. This would be fine, except he was saying "Nom nom nom, I eat cock hairs" to his electric razor. FML

by Anonymous / 10/17/2010 at 1:55am / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy

Today, I was sitting in a lecture about the history of the KKK and the problems it has caused, when the weirdest and quietest kid leans over my shoulder and says "I'd burn you first..." and winks. FML

by racist / 10/15/2010 at 2:00am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, as I put my 4 year old daughter in the car seat, she dropped her crayon. She then paused and matter-of-factly said, "Mommy, I don't say 'f***' anymore when I drop things." FML

by Anonymous / 10/14/2010 at 8:25pm / United States (Ohio) / Kids

Today, there were reports of a drunk and disorderly male, and I arrived at the scene only to discover a drunk guy having explosive diarrhoea in a photo booth. He turned to me and shouted "God save the Queen!" It's then that I remembered it was my job to do something about it. FML

by Anonymous / 10/14/2010 at 9:42am / Reserved / Work

Today, I asked my boyfriend in a sexy way "What should we do now, honey?" He answered, "Suck my dick?" I said "I was thinking of something more... romantic." He replied "Suck my dick in the moonlight?" FML

by Anonymous / 10/13/2010 at 9:20am / Spain (Asturias) / Intimacy

Today, I lost the remote control to my TV. I can't change the channel manually on it, and the channel it's stuck on is currently playing an infomercial for the Pos-T-Vac penis pump. I've been watching this for an hour now. I'm a female, and I'm beginning to feel like I need this product. FML

by Anonymous / 10/11/2010 at 6:50am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, I was tidying my room when my gran came in and offered to help. I said I didn't need any, but she started going through it anyway. She found a tube of "Very Cherry" lube and asked what it was. I subtly tore off the label and tried to convince her it was a face mask. She's taken it to try it out tonight. FML

by Dilly / 10/10/2010 at 4:29pm / United Kingdom (London) / Intimacy

Today, I was watching a movie. The ending was sad and I started bawling my eyes out. My boyfriend sitting beside me kept looking back and forth between me and the TV, so I asked what he was doing. He replied with, 'I don't know which one is better to watch.' FML

by Kiimmy / 10/09/2010 at 10:36am / United States (South Carolina) / Love

Today, I was in the elevator with my new boss. He asked things like "How are you?" "How's your day going?" and "What's for dinner?" I answered everything and tried to make small talk. I then noticed that he was wearing a bluetooth and was talking to someone else. FML

by Anonymous / 10/09/2010 at 5:41am / United States (California) / Work

Today, after weeks of thinking and playing every outcome possible in my head, I told my parents I'm gay. My dad nodded and didn't even look up from his book; my mom told me to go to the doctor if it starts to itch. FML

by Anonymous / 10/09/2010 at 2:47am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a wet dream about having sexual relations with a rubber duck. FML

by Anonymous / 10/09/2010 at 1:15am / New Zealand (Canterbury) / Intimacy

Today, after me and my boyfriend had pretty much amazing sex, he took off the condom and started swinging it back and forth, all while making the sounds of a clock and saying, "You are getting sleepy." FML

by Anonymous / 10/08/2010 at 8:01am / United States (California) / Intimacy