Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

PeytonKaulitz

Search for a member

PeytonKaulitz

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 3 July 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4980
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

PeytonKaulitz's page activity

Visits<b>peytonkins12</b> - the 12/28/2011 at 6:30pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:38pm<b>hamstersFOreal</b> - the 08/09/2010 at 11:00pm<b>2igutierrez31</b> - the 08/09/2010 at 12:50pm<b>rileykins</b> - the 08/09/2010 at 10:50am<b>fuck_this_shit_5</b> - the 08/09/2010 at 8:46am<b>buzz18</b> - the 07/29/2010 at 11:37pm<b>crushfly01</b> - the 07/28/2010 at 3:33pm<b>redexposed</b> - the 07/27/2010 at 6:25pm<b>JesseJaymz</b> - the 07/12/2010 at 2:09am<b>hoter_than_lexie</b> - the 07/11/2010 at 2:57pm<b>chaychay84</b> - the 07/10/2010 at 4:05am<b>281go</b> - the 07/07/2010 at 12:52am<b>mercury23</b> - the 07/01/2010 at 12:42pm<b>FFML_314</b> - the 07/01/2010 at 2:25am<b>bluecar24</b> - the 06/29/2010 at 10:06pm<b>Aero_boy</b> - the 06/27/2010 at 9:23pm<b>deathcab7</b> - the 06/27/2010 at 9:17pm

PeytonKaulitz's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of PeytonKaulitz's badges

PeytonKaulitz's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom looked through my browser history and saw Chatroulette. She thought I'd gotten into online gambling, and wouldn't believe me when I explained what it really was. After I insisted on showing her, the first chat window to open contained cocks as far as the eye could see. FML

#16488839
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21504) - you deserved it (37902)

On 06/03/2011 at 8:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I wrote in my own yearbook with different styles of handwriting so my mom would think I have friends. FML

#16445488
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49655) - you deserved it (13400)

On 06/01/2011 at 12:28am - misc - by nofriends - Japan (Tokyo)

Today, I was on my third date with a really hot girl. A guy walked by singing the Pokémon theme song. She started making fun of the guy, mocking his immaturity. I joined in order to keep the conversation going. Everything was going great but then my phone rang. It was the Pokémon theme song. FML

#16435078
487 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15362) - you deserved it (73522)

On 05/31/2011 at 1:05pm - love - by chickennbenchpress (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, as I was walking out of a restaurant with my boyfriend, I saw some guys checking me out. One of them walked up to my boyfriend and said, "Dude, you and your girlfriend have matching moustaches!" FML

#16435033
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36393) - you deserved it (9311)

On 05/31/2011 at 1:01pm - misc - by kaleigh - United States

Today, I accidentally said, "Yes, Sir." to my female teacher. I then apologized by saying, "Sorry, Sir." FML

#16418676
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33056) - you deserved it (15013)

On 05/30/2011 at 2:14pm - misc - by OopsKid (man) - France

Today, my girlfriend and I were taking a shower together. We were fooling around when she takes the shower head and starts spraying my penis with it. I asked her "what are you doing?" Her response: "I'm watering it to make it grow." FML

#16399874
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59990) - you deserved it (12562)

On 05/29/2011 at 10:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my toilet decided it wouldn't take any more shit from me, and flooded the bathroom. FML

#16299538
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36253) - you deserved it (5985)

On 05/22/2011 at 4:31pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while driving, a minivan cut me off. Pissed, I started honking and cursing. I then went ballistic when the driver waved out the window, smiling. It wasn't until I was at a stoplight that I noticed their "Honk if you love Jesus" bumper sticker. FML

#16263941
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26086) - you deserved it (14049)

On 05/20/2011 at 6:07am - misc - by Max Flynn -

Today, I woke up face-down in my grandfather's driveway, soaking wet with no pants, glitter in my hair, and holding an empty Skippy peanut butter jar. No one will tell me what happened. FML

#16258570
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32774) - you deserved it (20208)

On 05/19/2011 at 9:38pm - misc - by Devon (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, my girlfriend asked if we could spice up our sex life. She didn't think it was too funny when I laid out all of our spices on the bed. She now refuses to have sex. FML

#16200408
314 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20190) - you deserved it (60782)

On 05/16/2011 at 1:40am - intimacy - by phoenix101 -

Today, I finally mustered the courage to tell my crush how I feel. He's a straight-A student and very nice in general. After I finished pouring my heart out, he stared at me for a bit and then said: "Nice rack." FML

#16114978
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37241) - you deserved it (11108)

On 05/10/2011 at 4:36am - intimacy - by Dana (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, I discovered that my new boyfriend is the type of guy who, when there is a conflict, will just scream "I LOVE YOU" over and over hoping that it will solve itself instead of actually trying to work the problem out. FML

#16055177
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36299) - you deserved it (7198)

On 05/05/2011 at 10:40am - love - by sad (woman) - United Kingdom (Somerset)

Today, my girlfriend compared my penis to an ewok from Star Wars. She says it's short, stubby, and fuzzy. Now she sings the Star Wars theme when we hang out. FML

#15817034
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42299) - you deserved it (8247)

On 04/17/2011 at 1:56am - intimacy - by rastafarimon (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I got hurt and spent the remainder of the day limping. I wish I could say it was from something badass like roller derby, but I can't. A woman with a rolling cart filled with packs of Pepsi rolled over my foot on the bus. FML

#15809237
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22962) - you deserved it (3631)

On 04/16/2011 at 3:18pm - health - by pepsifoot - United States (Oregon)

Today, is my birthday. Everyone forgot except my stalker. He rang the door bell the second it turned 12:00. FML

#15693187
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41459) - you deserved it (3526)

On 04/08/2011 at 11:03am - love - by hopeless -



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: