PeytonKaulitz

Search for a member

PeytonKaulitz

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 3 July 1994 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7938
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

PeytonKaulitz's page activity

Visits<b>_LoveSucks_21</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 12:34am<b>peytonkins12</b> - the 12/28/2011 at 6:30pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:38pm<b>hamstersFOreal</b> - the 08/09/2010 at 11:00pm<b>2igutierrez31</b> - the 08/09/2010 at 12:50pm<b>rileykins</b> - the 08/09/2010 at 10:50am<b>fuck_this_shit_5</b> - the 08/09/2010 at 8:46am<b>buzz18</b> - the 07/29/2010 at 11:37pm<b>crushfly01</b> - the 07/28/2010 at 3:33pm<b>redexposed</b> - the 07/27/2010 at 6:25pm<b>JesseJaymz</b> - the 07/12/2010 at 2:09am<b>hoter_than_lexie</b> - the 07/11/2010 at 2:57pm<b>chaychay84</b> - the 07/10/2010 at 4:05am<b>281go</b> - the 07/07/2010 at 12:52am<b>mercury23</b> - the 07/01/2010 at 12:42pm<b>FFML_314</b> - the 07/01/2010 at 2:25am<b>bluecar24</b> - the 06/29/2010 at 10:06pm<b>Aero_boy</b> - the 06/27/2010 at 9:23pm

PeytonKaulitz's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of PeytonKaulitz's badges

PeytonKaulitz's favorite FMLs

Today, I discovered that my dog is an aspiring underwear designer, her latest project being creating crotchless underwear. Mine seem to have been used as prototypes. FML

by blacktyaffair / 11/09/2011 at 9:48am / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, while sitting on the toilet, my phone pocket dialed my boss's cell. He was in the next stall. He answered. FML

by number2 / 10/17/2011 at 9:14pm / United States / Work

Today, in the senior class I teach, I asked my students who had traveled outside of the country, excluding Canada and Mexico. One student raised his hand and proudly stated, "Arizona". He wants to be a doctor. FML

by Anonymous / 10/14/2011 at 2:42am / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, I wore my brand new Wonderbra to school. When I got home, my dad looked at me and started laughing hysterically. Between breaths, he asked if anyone actually thought my chest was that big and said "You know why it's called a Wonderbra? Guys take it off and wonder where your tits went." FML

by Anonymous / 10/10/2011 at 6:26pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I learned no matter how much your friends pressure you, you must never snort lines of curry powder. FML

by Anonymous / 10/01/2011 at 2:48am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was giving an anti-drugs speech to a group of ninth graders. I got onto the topic of trafficking from problem countries and asked a student to point out Mexico City on a map. He hesitated a few seconds before pointing at Canada. What the hell has the education system come to? FML

by jesus christ / 09/30/2011 at 10:55pm / United States / Kids

Today, my friends and I were having a conversation about which mythical creature would be the most unlikely to exist in the real world. They all collectively agreed that it would be a girl who is attracted to me. FML

by Unluckiest Guy of the group / 09/28/2011 at 3:26pm / United States (Georgia) / Love

Today, I was expecting my period. To avoid the embarrassment of everyone in the office finding out, instead of putting tampons in my bag, I hid one in my bra. It fell out while I was coming back from lunch. I am now known to all as "The Tampon Dispenser". FML

by Anonymous / 09/22/2011 at 9:55am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous

Today, to show that he really wanted me to shave myself, my boyfriend pretended to go down on me, but instead of following through, he stuck a wad of gum in my pubic hair and got back up. FML

by Prinpette / 09/20/2011 at 5:20pm / France / Intimacy

Today, I walked in on my daughter trying to tan herself with her regular desk lamp. She won't believe that it wouldn't give her a tan. She's 16 years old. This isn't the first time this has happened. FML

by Anonymous / 09/20/2011 at 3:24am / Canada (British Columbia) / Kids

Today, I got kicked in the crotch. It popped my cherry. I lost my virginity to a shoe. FML

by Anonymous / 09/19/2011 at 10:39am / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, my girlfriend gave me a speech on me "not being manly enough". I started crying. FML

by Anonymous / 09/17/2011 at 4:17am / South Africa (Gauteng) / Love

Today, I had to say "Put away your burrito," "that ruler is not a light saber," and "stop making dog noises" all in the same sentence at work. I teach Advanced Placement Calculus to high school seniors. FML

by Anonymous / 08/20/2011 at 3:42am / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I had to tell my teenage son that no, his knowledge of the English language was not passed down to him genetically. FML

by Tabby / 08/06/2011 at 4:39pm / United Kingdom / Kids

Today, while in line at a gas station, I felt something on my shoulder. I turned around only to see a woman behind me pulling the sunburnt skin off my shoulder. When I told her to stop, she yelled, hit me with her purse and ran off crying. FML

by therundown / 07/20/2011 at 9:38am / United States (Ohio) / Health