About PeytonBieda : The most huggable douchebag you will ever meet.
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PeytonBieda's favorite FMLs
by Ellie / 10/09/2013 at 7:15pm / United States (Kansas) / Work
by Anonymous / 08/22/2012 at 2:01am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
by happybirthday / 08/12/2012 at 1:49am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy
by Rosie / 06/13/2012 at 12:07pm / Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen) / Intimacy
by BooBabe / 06/04/2012 at 7:50pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy
Today, I was taking a dump in a public toilet, when a guy in the next stall started drunkenly rapping. He kept trying to get me to rap along with him, eventually bashing the wall and threatening to bust my face in if I didn't. I soon found out I can rap to Slob On My Knob pretty well. FML
by rapper in training / 02/10/2012 at 8:02pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I invited a few of my co-workers over to play video games. Within an hour, my wife had gotten drunk, grabbed my controller, told me to "get back in the kitchen", and described to everyone in blood-chilling detail how she took her first boyfriend's virginity. FML
by ThinZ / 12/23/2011 at 7:26pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
by IHopeYourDogsGetDiarrheaAndPoopOnYourBed / 12/20/2011 at 6:49am / Mauritius / Miscellaneous
Today, my mother spent over $5,000 to fly in a Feng-Shui master, put him in a five-star hotel, and had him walk around our house with a compass, moving things to help improve the "energy flow." Now all I have in my room is an old mattress and lamp. He's coming back tomorrow. FML
by Agathus / 11/10/2011 at 9:35am / United Arab Emirates / Money
Today, my parents told me that they've been having a contest to see who could punish me the most this week. So far, my mom is in the lead by kicking me out of the car near railroad tracks, and making me walk the 4 miles home in the freezing rain. FML
by Grounded / 11/03/2011 at 5:18am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was trying to get my boyfriend in the mood so I held his hands against the bed, and whispered, "Have you been a bad boy?" Thinking he'd say something kinky back, he replied "Yes Santa" then burst out laughing. FML
by HOe HOe HOe / 11/01/2011 at 10:36pm / United States (Hawaii) / Intimacy
Today, for the first time, I beat my brother in a game of CoD. Not being a gamer, I was ecstatic. Later, when I was in the shower, my brother snuck in the bathroom, yelled "Napalm strike!" and threw our cat over the shower curtain like a furry grenade from hell. FML
by MLGreco / 10/14/2011 at 12:11pm / United States / Kids
by CHStennis_4 / 09/03/2011 at 12:48am / United States (Utah) / Love
Today, I was helping clean my grandpa's garage when I found some of his old election posters from the '50s. They included slogans such as, "Dick: you know it feels right" and "Want growth? Choose Dick." I'm not sure whether to be disgusted or impressed. FML
by Nick / 07/27/2011 at 1:32pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
by Jack / 07/08/2011 at 11:10am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
- Today, my boyfriend thought it'd be cute to put his penis through a doughnut and try to make me eat… Today, I walked into the bathroom and found my sister cleaning her vibrator. With my toothbrush. FML Today, as I snuck downstairs for a midnight movie, I witnessed my dad "polishing his wand" to Harry…