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Periwinkle623

Offline (the 04/12/2015 at 5:01pm) | Search for a member

Periwinkle623

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 378
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Periwinkle623's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

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Periwinkle623's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up with my penis taped inside a milk bottle. Yes, I'm as baffled as you are. FML

#21350665
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29960) - you deserved it (5126)

On 02/05/2015 at 11:14pm - misc - by Milked Richard (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I asked out a girl that I've liked for a while. She thought I was joking and laughed, saying, "No. Have you met yourself?" FML

#21338134
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32917) - you deserved it (3103)

On 01/16/2015 at 7:49am - love - by SilverZephyr - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She said, "Can't, bigamy's illegal." I still don't know if she was joking or not, because she keeps changing the subject whenever I mention it. FML

#21322691
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29523) - you deserved it (2504)

On 12/23/2014 at 1:24pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I called this girl I've had a crush on for 2 years to confess my love to her. However, as she picked up the phone, I got so nervous that I froze and couldn't say a word. I was standing there, breathing heavily for 20 seconds. She got so freaked out that she threatened to call the police. FML

#21317815
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31015) - you deserved it (8211)

On 12/15/2014 at 6:59am - love - by LonelyGuy (man) - Australia

Today, I had to babysit my 7-year-old niece while my brother bought Christmas presents. After he left, she walked up to me and said in a very dark voice, "I'm gonna make you hate children!" Now my apartment looks like a bomb site. FML

#21316125
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28525) - you deserved it (2564)

On 12/12/2014 at 10:15am - kids - by Che_likes_you - Australia (Victoria)

Today, it's my birthday. When I asked my mom if we were gonna do anything special for my birthday. She said, "don't lie to me. It's not your birthday." FML

#21238688
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45614) - you deserved it (3199)

On 08/16/2014 at 1:09am - misc - by bad birthdays - United States (California)

Today, I found out my girlfriend has been cheating on me. When I told my sister, she just smiled, held up a closed fist, and said "Look at the number of fucks I give!" She then raised a finger, said "Oops. Finger spasm!" then lowered it again. FML

#21238375
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44545) - you deserved it (4597)

On 08/15/2014 at 6:09pm - love - by meltdowninrels (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I heard my son say, "I don't want any bacon with my eggs". Where did I go wrong? FML

#21187679
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52353) - you deserved it (16901)

On 06/25/2014 at 8:30am - kids - by failed dad (man) - Greece (Attiki)

Today, our dishwasher door broke. My mom made me sit there for an hour straight, holding the door shut so it would work. FML

Today, while visiting family, we went to a restaurant to eat. Towards the end of the meal, I went to use the restroom. When I came back, everyone was gone. Everyone had actually gotten into their cars and left without me. I have no idea where I am and no one is answering their phone. FML

#21185875
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52925) - you deserved it (4453)

On 06/23/2014 at 10:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, after nearly a year of being stalked, harassed and even terrorized, the police finally found out who my stalker was. It was my 19-year-old son, who thought it would be a fun prank to pull. FML

#21185679
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46781) - you deserved it (5328)

On 06/23/2014 at 7:13pm - kids - by Anon (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that the loving nickname my Chinese mother has been calling me my entire life essentially translates to "little retard". FML

#21185495
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51238) - you deserved it (5707)

On 06/23/2014 at 3:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got written up for drinking on the job by a manager who drinks on the job, who was told to write me up by a general manager who drinks on the job, and we are all employed by an owner who drinks on the job. I haven't had a drink in 3 weeks. FML

Today, I stubbed the same toe three times in fifteen minutes. How? My sister moved most of the furniture in the house to the left by a few inches, because she thought it would be funny to watch me get confused and suffer. FML

#21183245
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44791) - you deserved it (6551)

On 06/21/2014 at 3:57pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Australia



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